This post used to be about the text in the MLS listings, and the crazy things listing agents will write about the property, or the typos, or the inaccuracies.
But a picture paints a thousand words!
And now it seems the photos on MLS provide for much better musings, and some delightful entertainment at 8:42am on a Monday morning. Oh, if I had a dime for every email from a reader that said something about “spitting out coffee” laughing. Warms my cold Realtor-heart…
Let me start with the best one. Truly, is there any other way?
Using my amazing skills in Paint, I put together all fifteen photos that accompany this lovely downtown listing.
I found it odd, to start with, that the “feature” photo (ie. the first one) was of the pool and not of the building, or maybe a great shot of the living space.
But I found it even more odd that all of the photos of the actual unit are SIDEWAYS!
And that listing didn’t just come onto the market.
It’s not like somebody accidentally uploaded those sideways photos, and then fixed them right away.
That listing has been on the market for two weeks, and nobody representing the listing thought to fix it…
This next one might look pretty unspectacular.
It’s just a photo of a tree – check it out:
But it’s not a photo of a tree.
It’s a photo of 40 Homewood Avenue, BEHIND a tree.
And for some reason, a listing agent thought, “You know what I’ll do? I’ll take a photo of the building, completely blocked by a tree, and use that as the feature photo on MLS!”
It’s like trying to sell a couch on Craigslist, but the photo shows the couch behind a greasy dumpster, with homeless people sitting on it…
This one is great!
You know how some developments will show an artist’s rendering of the building?
And do you know how some developments will show a scale model of the building?
Well here’s a photo of the scale model, inside the sales centre…
Hey, I love a good toilet as much as the next person.
I really do.
But this listing got REALLY carried away with the toilet photos!
“Johnny, make sure when you go to the unit to photograph the condo, you get the toilet…..from different angles!”
This is simply marketing at its finest:
I can’t wait to book a showing!
There’s a few things wrong with this one, but let me show you the photo first:
1) The photo is tiny. It only takes up about 1/3 the space provided by MLS, so somebody doesn’t know what a “thumbnail” is.
2) The photo is of three row-houses.
3) The property for sale is actually the one on left (ie with the sign on the lawn!), and they’ve cut off part of the house on the left side!
Here’s the one positive thing I’ll say in this blog post.
Take a look at the photos for this listing at 77 Maitland, where they’ve included a photo of the fact that the building was named “Condo of the Year” in 2015.
That’s definitely something worth marketing!
And last but not least, is this a hot tub, or a swimming pool?
It’s probably too big to be a hot tub.
I mean, I’ve been in hot tubs that large before, but rarely.
And it’s far too small to be a swimming pool.
So what is it?
It’s at 28 Ted Rogers way, and yes, – it’s a swimming pool!
Look, I know we’re not getting 100-metre pools with eight lanes, and if you’re friends with Michael Phelps or Ian Thorpe – they’re not coming over to your condo to swim.
But that “pool” is about 16 feet by 10 feet, and if you didn’t know the person you were in the pool with, it might make it awkward. There’s nowhere you can stand in that pool where you can’t see the whites of the other person’s eyes!
It’s sad. The pool, I mean. It just looks sad. And when I picture somebody in there, I feel sad, because they’re sad.
And now, I’m sad.
Damn you, Ted Rogers!