Photos Of The Week!

Pipe

Maybe I just expect too much when it comes to the way properties are listed for sale in today’s market.

Maybe it’s a matter of “if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em,” and I should list properties without cleaning them, staging them, fixing them up, or removing piles of garbage from the living room.

Maybe I should make laughable claims in the MLS description, misrepresent the property, and just do crazy things that you’d never expect in today’s red-hot market.  Like…..well, like every photo you’ll see below.  Enjoy!

Pipe

Let’s start with something simple, shall we?

What do you see in this photo:

CondoDenSmall

I know, you’re like me – you see a table and two chairs, wedged into a small nook.

But the developer, listing agent, and seller/owner see……..wait for it…….a DEN!

This unit was sold as “1-Bed-Plus-Den,” and believe it or not, this might be the worst exaggeration fo a “den” I’ve seen in real estate.

Trust me when I say I did NOT set this up.

This is real.

I blacked out the listing agent’s name and brokerage, but this is a real photo.

Yes, folks, this “high end” house is for sale, with a toilet in the driveway!

ToiletForSale

If I had a house with a toilet in the driveway, I’d be embarassed.

I’m a classy dude.

If I listed my house for sale, but needed immediate access to a bathroom, I’d prefer to see….something…….hmmmm…..something like……THIS!

PortaPotty

Seriously – what are people thinking?

Listing your $1.5 Million house for sale with a crapper on the front porch?

This needs no explanation.

Just a photo of a door hook.  Pretty boring, right?  Why did I include this?

CoatHook1

Well, because some people are really stupid, and don’t know how to use a door-stop, and/or don’t think to patch up a very small hole before going to market:

CoatHook2

Leave my card?

Where?

On the left, or the right, of the random piles of garbage that are for some reason present at this property, listed for one day, with a hold-back on offers and expectations of grandeur…

Garbage

You know the condo you’re looking at is “high-end” when the underground parking garage has nice cars in it.

But when you go past Lexus, Mercedes, and BMW, and into F1, you’re in a whole other category of condo…

RacecarVu

I often ask my clients, “Do you care who buys your house?”  Some people want to know their home is going to a nice family.

But by the same token, do you care who you buy your house from?

I think it’s safe to say that if you buy your home from somebody who has a Star Wars “light sabre” mounted on the wall of their living room, you’re going to inherit the obvious cool-factor…

LightSabre

I’m a big fan of staging, as you know.

I work with Darren & Lucie from “Toronto Condo Staging & Design,” and they’re awesome.

Having said that, some stagers either don’t know have the experience, the supplies, or the basic level of fundamentals in order to stage a property.

I’ve noticed an increasing amount of photos that aren’t really photos – they’re the photo that came with the picture frame!

PhotoFrameDog

PhotoFrameEmpire

The MLS listing for this condo said, “Beautiful outdoor terrace, perfect for entertaining!”

Really?

Then I guess the people being “entertained” on the terrace have no problem crawling across the owner’s bed to get outside via the only door?

Either that, or maybe, just maybe, this crappy balcony has absolutely no functional purpose, and the fact that the bed is jammed up into the door confirms it:

BlockedDoor

And last but not least, guess how this property was described in the MLS listing:

LushGreenLawn

Ready?

Sprawling, Lush, Green Front Lawn.”

Buyer beware, I suppose?

5 Comments

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  1. bugeyedbrit says:

    The Ariel is a road legal track car, bodywork is not an option, its just chassis tubes and and engine, I wouldn’t care at all if that was parked next to my ’59 Healey….

  2. Kyle says:

    I think the sign on the counter should read “Please leave your discards”

  3. Ed says:

    maybe it’s the toilette that’s for sale?

  4. Emma says:

    Your 1+1 listing reminded me of this listing: http://www.realtor.ca/Residential/Single-Family/16374216/616—319-CARLAW-AVE-Toronto-Ontario-M4M2S1-South-Riverdale

    They also claim to be a 1+1 but oddly enough, the den measurements are “not availables.” That’s because it most certainly is a 1 bedroom, confirmed by the developers’ plans: https://www.buzzbuzzhome.com/worklofts/units/condos/754

  5. Darren says:

    That car is the Ariel Atom. Street legal in the US so it might have been someone visiting. I’m not a car guy but that car is the exception. I’d love to have one.

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