Photos Of The Week!

CliffHouse

This week’s edition of “Photos of the Week” is going to be a mix of both MLS photos, plucked right from the active listings that you see online every day, as well as photos I take in my travels each and every day in this crazy industry.

I usually split them up into two features, but boy oh boy, do I have some good stuff from each category today!

Once again, thanks to all the readers out there for sending in their pics! ¬†Keep them coming! ūüôā

CliffHouse

Let’s start out with what I think might be the best MLS “feature photo” I’ve seen in a long time.

And by “best,” I mean for the purposes of our enjoyment and laughter, and certainly not in terms of marketing this property effectively.

This is a photo, in black and white, that doesn’t look like it was taken in 2016, to say the least.

The listing agent then took a marker and drew around the house, so we wouldn’t confuse it with the house next door (to the left) or the garage next door (to the right).

But the red drawing, in itself, looks like how a child would draw a house!

So basically, this is a house drawn on a house.  By a grown man or woman.  Bravo.

HouseonHouse

These are amazing!

These photos are of a bedroom/bathroom combination, that I think is going to sweep the nation in 2016 as far as real estate trends go!

Bed&Bathroom

So what’s a better caption for this?

1) “Open Concept Bathroom”
2) “Bed, Bath, & Way, Way Beyond”

Bed&Bathroom2

This is kind of original, I’ll give it that.

Another MLS “feature photo” and rather than using a photo of the building, like most listing agents do, these agent gift-wrapped the front door and took a photo.

Amazingly, a colleague of mine showed this unit and said that the ribbon and bow was still in tact!  Pretty cool!

GiftWrappedDoor

I do believe that, even with all the ridiculous rules RECO saddles with us, a listing agent can put whatever “rider” they want on the bottom of their “FOR SALE” signs.

We see a lot that say “Open House, 2-4pm.” ¬†That’s helpful.

But then we see riders that throw out random, useless phrases like “Recently Renovated.” ¬†From browsing MLS, we know that “Recently Renovated” can mean “…..back in 1998,” or can mean “….by a blind, one-armed tradesperson.”

I found this one to be particularly useless:

ManyUpgrades

I love marble as next as the much person, and by that, I mean¬†sometimes, and only when it really “works.”

But what about marble tile floors, marble counters, marble backsplash on the counter, marble siding on the tub, and marble tiles in the shower/tub?

Marble

I love this photo.

It shows complete ineptitude on mutliple levels:

1) Design
2) Staging
3) Marketing

This room wasn’t thought out properly when it was built, so the closet door would run into the bed, IF, the bed wasn’t turned the other way – sideways, along the wall.

Fine.

But then the stager, and/or agent, had the bright idea to put the pillows on the side of the bed, and make it look like this is the top of the bed, which it could be, if you were a two-feet tall:

SidewaysBed

What’s uglier:

1) The red backsplash
2) The gold faucet

Red&Gold

And that’s in a 1-year-old condo, which means that somebody got creative, bucked the trend (and any rationale or logic), and put in red backsplash with a gold faucet…

Right…

This one is for the Realtors.

Folks, listen. ¬†I know we have a tough job, and sometimes it’s really easy to make it tougher.

But when you put a lockbox on a property where there are 200 other lockboxes, put an identifier on there, and at a minimum, put your business card on the back.

Take a look at this:

LockboxesHarbour

When you get a showing confirmation that says “Lockbox on railing, code 1972,” and that’s IT, you’re basically daring agents to skip your listing.

No identifier, no business card – no way in hell somebody is going to try “1972” on all those lockboxes, or sort through them all looking for ones that do¬†not¬†have another agent’s business card on the back.

Some of the smartest people I know are in real estate.  And some of the dumbest too.

Do any of you work in the door business?

Any idea what something like this would cost?

LoftDoor

If you’re going to live in an authentic, brick-and-beam, hard loft, converted from a century-old building you owe it to yourself to find a door like this>

Steel doors like this one are very tough to find, and I’ve had clients pay upwards of $5,000 for one.

Wood doors are easier to find, and they’re easier to replicate.

I’ve had a few clients order doors from this place:¬†www.loftdoors.com

They have some really cool stuff, and they don’t just do doors, they do coffee tables, dining room tables, accents, etc.

I challenge anybody to judge two wooden, “antique” loft doors, and tell me which one is authentic, and which one was made out of reclaimed wood from 200-year-old barn in Saskatchewan.

And last, but certainly not least, there’s just no accounting for the stupidity of today’s average Joe.

The following needs no description…

ChristmasTree

6 Comments

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  1. GinaTO says:

    One “For Sale” sign on my street had a picture of the agent’s head on it. Like, just his head, massive, on the sign, and his name and phone number below. You saw it from the end of the street and wondered what was that thing looking at you.

  2. Wut says:

    That marble bathroom is a monstrosity. Probably expensive too.

    Speaking of monstrosities, are you going to do an article on that top million dollar agent show that has been on tv the last few weeks? That show is the best advertising for com free you can get.

  3. Laurie says:

    The funniest rider I saw (in a sadly pathetic way) was on a house that was overpriced by $300K in a high-demand suburb that said ‘Need More Listings’. I think the Realtor was trying to get more business? Though I’d worry about a Realtor who advertises how poorly he’s doing on an actual listing. (Which, BTW, dropped in price by $200K a few weeks later, sat for sale for almost a year then went off the market)

  4. Paully says:

    I am still laughing at the image of someone, a la Grinch, trying to stuff a whole Christmas tree into the garbage chute door in a twenty-seven-story high-rise. But you have to know that in order for the property manager to post a notice about it, somebody has already tried to do it. The sub-title to that notice should read: “…and this is how your condo fees get so high. People, grow a brain!”

    My favourite For Sale sign rider has to be the one that says: “Honey…Stop the Car!!!”

    The company that did the renovation work at the old Don Jail to convert it into office space for Bridgepoint Hospital, removed and sold off some of the old heavy steel cell doors. A 300 lb. cell door would be an interesting piece in a house, wouldn’t you agree?

    1. @ Paully

      Jail cell doors are so hot right now!

      I got married at 1 King West, and we did photos downstairs in the old bank vault. Not my bride – that would be weird. But the groomsmen and I took some pics from behind the bars.

      I’m sure there’s a joke there about marriage and jail…

  5. Marina says:

    The marble bathroom and golden faucet are neither here nor there. Fugly as all get out, but I can also picture someone loving the idea, so whatever.

    But the bed / closet situation is stupid. Actually highlights the door placement problem. Either replace the naffing door with a folding one, or stage the room as an office. I can support economy and efficiency, but not stupidity. Makes me mad on a monday morning.

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