More MLS Musings!

If you’re new to TRB, then you might find to be an amusing distraction while you drink your morning coffee, or you might think this is a simple-minded alternative to talking about real issues affecting Toronto real estate.

However, I’m constantly shocked, but not quite surprised, at what makes its way into MLS listings, so I’d like to highlight (lowlight?) some of the most amusing images, descriptions, and mistakes that you might find while perusing the Multiple Listing Service.

And if you see anything out there that amuses you, please send it my way!

LaughEmoji

Let’s start with an absolute beauty!

I understand when agents try to “think outside the box.”  I get it.  I did it with this blog in 2007 and it seemed to catch on.

However, when you’re listing a 2-bed, 2-bath condo for sale, maybe you should show some of the condo, and not just…….the sink?

5Massey

No seriously, let’s count.  Just for fun:

6 photos of the sink
1 photo of coffee mugs
1 photo of fake flowers
1 photo of fake flowers…in a closet
1 photo of door handles
1 photo of a curtain on a floor
1 photo of a light fixture (actually pretty cool, but still…)
1 photo of a bath towel
1 photo of……..floor tiles?  What the hell is that anyways?

When did the CN Tower get so short, fat, and stubby?

Maybe this agent didn’t know how to properly size images?

FatCNTower

A friend of mine at P.S.R. is always sending me photos, and recently, there’s been a glut of “thumb photos.”

Check this one out:

FingerLens

Now that is the feature photo on MLS!

See how it says “1 of 3” in the bottom corner of the photo?  That’s the lead photo!

The property was re-listed last week (Gee, I wonder why it didn’t sell?) and guess which photo leads the pack?

This one:

Minto1

Awesome.

I wonder what the rest of the house looks like?

Maybe the backyard?

Minto2

That photographer must have the fattest thumbs in the world, seriously.

But for the life of me, I can’t figure out why somebody would take these photos, and either:
a) not see the thumbs
b) see the thumbs, but use the photo(s) anyways

There are ways to remedy really, really, really crappy camerawork.

If you take a tall, narrow, vertical photo, and you require a horizontal photo for MLS, simply open the file in “Paint” on your PC, and use the “Fill” tool to blot out whatever is on each side of the subject property:

FlagHouse

It looks like a flag!

Like Canada, if we used a “Cash & Carry” instead of a Maple Leaf…

Here’s a typo on MLS.

Trust me – I tried really hard to get that 205% commission…

205Percent

What the hell does the following refer to?

I understand that “Bramd Mew” is supposed to read “Brand New,” but what is “A; Pst” and what does it refer to?

Mispelling “chic” as “sheek,” I understand.  Well, I don’t, but it’s a turn of phrase…

But what the HELL is with the intro?

Bramd Mew

And at any point, does the agent not look at the listing and say, “HOLY CRAP!  I’d better fix that…”

This is a neat way of marketing………in Alabama.

Not Toronto though…

Beer&TimMcGraw

Okay this is hilarious!

Read it first before I give you my thoughts:

FlippingPermit

So did they mean:
a) “flipping building permit” as in the permit to flip the house?
b) “flipping building permit” as in “f****** building permit”?

When I get frustrated while writing an MLS description, sometimes I swear too…

And last, but certainly not least, the only thing worse than somebody’s thumb, is something that leaves you guessing for hou

 

11 Comments

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  1. Frances says:

    In the last one, what the heck is an “elf’s”?

  2. Potato says:

    Semi-colon is next to L, P is next to O, and comma is next to M, so A;,pst is “almost” with the right hand off-set by a key. For that whole first phrase the left-hand letters are fine and the typos are right-hand letters offset by one key to the right.

    1. Spud Watch says:

      Good catch, Potato!

  3. Joel says:

    Does the brokerage for the listing agent not stipulate that pictures have to be taken by a professional, or have a select few photographers that they would allow.

    If the brokerage is getting 5-25% of the commission wouldn’t they have checks in place to make sure that they are maximizing their profit?

    I feel like that is really sloppy all the way down, it makes everyone involved with the brokerage look bad.

  4. Maggie says:

    These are good ones. Thanks for the laugh. I speak typo and I believe they were going for – Almost Brand New.

  5. Noelle says:

    75 Struthers in Mimico had MLS photos featuring a mashed-up dead rat on the floor, a kitchen full of exploded materials on the walls, and a room falling apart and full of black mold on every surface. Was listed for 575. Dropped to 550. Was re-listed at 800. Curious to see what it sold for…… http://cloudrealty.ca/public/uploads/images/W3438486/75-struthers-st-4.jpg

  6. moonbeam! says:

    I love Tim McGraw!!

    1. Ed says:

      That’s exactly what David said when I sent him that listing.

      1. @ Ed

        Even more amazing is that you know my mother is “Moonbeam.” 🙂

        1. Ed says:

          Everyone knows moonbeam!

  7. A Grant says:

    Looking at the state of that house in the feature photo, I’d say it needs more thumb, not less…

    1. Kyle says:

      The space pod on the back of the “thumb house” is friggin’ amazing!

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