More MLS Musings!

Sooooo……people really like debating rent controls, huh?

With the 100-comment mark for Wednesday’s blog post on the horizon, I figured another “serious” topic might crash this entire site.

Let’s relax a bit today and look at some of the spectacular photos, comments, and listings that have appeared on MLS so far this year…

LaughEmoji (2)

I’d like to start this week with a throwback to the summer, given it’s winter.

Here’s a listing glorifying life six months ago.  Or maybe I’m being cynical, and it’s pointing out what your life will be like when you buy this house, and enjoy the summer months ahead.

And by “enjoy,” I mean eat one lonely cob of corn, because you’re so poor from buying this damn house.

Oh, wait, there’s that cynicism again…

Corn

This is another MLS photo from the same listing.

You can see the table there in the bottom right corner where I’ve drawn the red arrow.

You can also see the seller lounging on his couch, which his teenage son ignores him and plays on his iPad.

Why the HELL didn’t they move for this photo?

It’s almost as if the listing agent wanted them in there…

Corn2

This is a beauty.

The view from this condo is exceptional, so the listing agent took a photo of what you would see if you lived in this magnificent space.

But for whatever reason, the photographer either didn’t pan up, didn’t stand far back enough, or just didn’t think that the second half of the CN Tower was a big enough attraction to shoot:

CutOffCNTower

What’s with this new trend of shooting inanimate objects in the condo?

I don’t understand how a photo of a yellow pot sells real estate:

PotPic

Or how about a tap, and some soap?

Does this make you want to buy a $500,000 asset?

C3691588_4

Pillars in condos are tough.

They’re present out of necessity, ie. your building would implode if you removed them.

But some pillars are just really, really tough to work with.

They’re very common – so if you’ve got one in your place, I’m not knocking you.

However, some are just really, really, REALLY tough to work with.

Like this one, which has a couch facing it, but no space for a TV.  So basically you’re just watching your pillar:

GiantPole

And this one, which is about 4-feet in diamater, and forces you to settle for a double-bed, with no end tables, and the person who sleeps on the left side has to basically set foot in the closet to get into bed:

GiantPole2

And this one, which is literally in the middle of the condo.

What a flow-killer!

GiantPole3

Of course, there are worse design-flaws than pillars in the middle of the room.

How about rooms that are too small to really do anything with?

Check out this condo, which is so poorly-designed, that in order to have ANY living space, your couch has to almost touch your kitchen:

Couch&Kitchen

Blame the developer for design flaws in condos.

But blame the home-owners for, well, design.

What do you see in this place?  I mean, other than the ugly furniture.

What’s on the wall over there?  Is that a painting?

Sailboat01

Nope.  It’s a giant ship carved into the wall.

Sailboat02

What a waste.

“His & Hers Closets,” I get it.

But why not make this one big walk-in closet?  It’s a goddam condo, that’s just drywall!  These design flaws boggle my mind!

His&Hers

I don’t know what to make of this one.

If you’ve watched even one episode of C.S.I., you know what you usually find in a bed, when you shine a black light over a bed.

All that’s missing is the luminol.

I’m not sure who the target market is for this one: serial killers, or the people who catch them?

BlackLight

And last, but certainly not least, tell me there was no way to photograph this house without getting a PERFECT shot of the tree blocking it?

Come on, folks.  I refuse to believe this is the best way to market this house…

Tree

Have a great weekend, everybody!

3 Comments

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  1. IanC says:

    Wow! You think you have seen it all – and then someone puts a DNA light over their Bed !

    But seriously, I’m getting miffed by all the wide angled shots. Rectangular rooms on the floor plan look circular or triangular in the shot with sloped ceilings. Or an outside building shot – it makes the rectangular building across the street look like a circular building. It’s getting out of hand !

  2. Buckley B. Buckington says:

    Maybe they were having a BBQ but decided they didn’t want to put off any vegetarian buyers?

    On a serious note though, that some truly awful concrete finishing on that photo of the column in front of the couch. It would not pass muster in any of the industrial projects that I work on and with the plainly visible honeycombing it may not even be up to code. I’d like to say that I can’t believe a developer would hand over a residential space with that lack of attention to quality but I’m not all that surprised.

  3. matthew arrigo says:

    Ha Ha… very entertaining! However I do like corn.

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