More MLS Musings!

I had two great blog posts in the queue that I call “my mind” for Friday, but life happens, and now it’s 2am and I’m exhausted, and can’t write.

So please accept this already-written-and-waiting blog, with hilarious/sad/lazy/depressing/questionable MLS musings, as a tide-you-over gesture until Monday.

Ah yes, Monday!  Who wants to talk about the government “ending” bidding wars?  Can’t wait to have that discussion!

LaughEmoji (3)

“FOMO” is a thing, right?

“Fear Of Missing Out” is a clinical condition that so many people in 2017 suffer from.

It’s why when you’re out for dinner with your friends, you spend all your time texting other friends, to see what else is going on.

But does fear sell?

I don’t know if I’ve ever seen an MLS listing that plays so hard on the emotions:

Prices

There are a lot of ways in which I market my listings.

Features of the condo, features of the building, location, and as is becoming trendy – I’ll often include the walk score.

The walk score for so many properties downtown are in the 95% to 100% range, that I won’t include the walk score unless it’s 98% or higher.  Because 97%, in this market, just isn’t good enough!

Being able to say “Transit Score 100%, Walk Score 100%” in your listing is great value!

But what I would not recommend is advertising something like this:

77%WalkScore

I usually have photos for my listings taken a week in advance so I get get my marketing together.

I have my administrator load the photos 2-3 days in advance, so I can see how the listing looks and “feels” in the eyes of the buyer.

What I can’t understand is how any agent, let alone an agent of a $1.2 Million house in a red-hot area with a hold-back on offers, can list a property for sale before they have photos!

ComingSoon

All I can say about the next one: your guess is as good as mine…

FragranceFree

I could say a lot about the next one, but it really doesn’t need much to be said.

Except that this is a Realtor’s own house…

SidewaysHouse

A condominium’s “Status Certificate” costs $100, for your information.

Here we have a listing agent who is clearly more concerned about his wallet than the ability to market the property effectively for his client:

StatusCert

That’s despicable.

The agent is offering up an outdated Status Certificate, that no lawyer would accept, that might not show an increase in maintenance fees, a special assessment, a lawsuit, or a host of other issues that can come up at any time, let alone in an eight-month period.

Who hires these people?

Can you figure out what’s wrong with this listing?

750Bay

Well, that’s not 750 Bay Street!

No big deal, right?

All condos are the same.  Just like people!

It’s like the one time I tried online dating back in 2009, and the girl who showed up, looking nothing like the person from the online profile, told me she used somebody else’s photo.

“Beauty is only skin-deep,” she told me.  True story.

I know this is a typo, but if you’re an agent, you just have to do better:

49900

I took that screen shot last night at midnight.

It was online ALL DAY, at $49,900.

Didn’t the agent check up on his or her listing?  Didn’t he or she need to print MLS listings to take the property, along with feature sheets, floor plans, the Status Certificate, a list of features and upgrades, et al?

No?

Didn’t think so…

Maybe I’m nitpicking here, but I can’t believe how unimaginative some agents are when it comes to utilizing the 463 characters in the “CLIENT REMARKS” section of MLS.

You get one chance to make a first impression.

What’s the best thing you can say about a downtown condo?

DowntownCondo

Oh.

Right.

Downtown condo.

Downtown condo?

That’s it?

That’s what you’re leading with?

I suppose if you’re an agent from Brampton, like the listing below, you think a “building downtown” is something special, when the irony is, MOST buildings are downtown!

BuildingDowntown

Ever heard the term “motivated seller?”

In my experience, when you see “motivated seller” on an MLS listing, it means the complete opposite.

Here we see just how motivated a seller is, as the listing agent emails all the agents who have shown the property, to inform them of the “new” price:

Reduction01

And last but not least, the two best MLS photos I’ve seen in a long, long time…

E3736100_13

E3736100_14

No joke, folks.

These photos are from MLS.

Both were in the listing.

A guy snorkeling in a tiny pool, and a woman relaxing in a hot tub – with her face digitally altered.

Here’s a question: why didn’t they just get out of the pool and the hot tub for the photos?

Have a great weekend everybody!

 

6 Comments

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  1. AK says:

    Whatever dude. This market is so scorching it doesn’t matter, and we are all told it’s totally normal and all “supply and demand”.

    As long as it’s not 4K Spadina or something equally awful, this can be the MLS listing:
    “Buy this property. Or don’t. I DGAF. 30% a year B****ES! Taking offers on Tuesday. Property sold as is, with the garbage on the floor.”

    It’ll sell for over asking, 20 bidders. No problem.

    Frankly I wonder how competent realtors like yourself can stay sane, watching all the dummies put in no effort and make the same, if not more money. It really REALLY doesn’t matter in this nothing to see here, the jobs are here and supply and demand oh and boomer money so this totally is normal and makes sense Toronto market.

  2. Black Card says:

    WHO HIRES THESE AGENTS? my god.

  3. Tim says:

    We sold our home in November and our real estate agent tended to use too much cologne. Was funny at first, but after many meets I grew to regret the strong odour. Finally had to say something,…awkward, but had to be done. He was ok with it. Within days, right back to strong odour. Should ‘fragrance free’ be an option when signing with an agent? LOL Also, since we were selling in November the garden on the front of our house was not looking too nice. Our agent actually took the picture from the previous agents listing of our property (8 years earlier) and put it as our listing picture. Nice blue sky and green garden. Any conflict using a younger picture of your home to sell? Maybe, …people do it for themselves on Facebook all the time LOL,….look how young I still look! Guess false advertising is just the ‘norm’ now.

  4. IanC says:

    My brother in Burlington is listing his house for sale next week – with a pool. Last season they had no idea that they’d be selling this year.
    My brother just asked me if I had nice pictures of the pool, since it will be closed during the showings. They had no good pictures of just the pool without people…

    Pool owners be warned – take some nice landscape photos that could be used for listings… You never know what next year brings, or if you may have to sell in the winter !

  5. Joe Q. says:

    I can understand the fragrance-free thing. Many people have sensitivities to perfume / cologne — and many other people seem to re-apply their perfume / cologne at unusual times and places.

  6. Ralph Cramdown says:

    Click the “Prev” button on this page three times to be transported to a listing with a “Hollywood style pool,” a drainage ditch with a guy with a bald spot in it. People who live in wet ditches shouldn’t throw mud.

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