Maybe my standards are too high.
Maybe that’s it. Maybe that’s why we keep coming back to this, every 2-3 weeks, looking at what other people post on MLS.
Today, I’ll blame both the listing agents and the home-owners for these bad photos and MLS descriptions, but we’ll also see some work from bad stagers, and bad photographers too…
Advertising is a funny thing.
Since the dawn of print marketing, people all over the world, in every walk of life, have tried to figure out just what image, lifestyle, graphic, colour, or theme works best to attract customers.
Real estate is no different.
But I have to wonder what the listing agent for this property was thinking when he wrote this:
I tell you guys this every single week: you get twenty photos on MLS, and one “feature photo.”
This listing agent didn’t just mail it in with one photo, as you can see from the “1 of 14,” the agent used, well, 14.
But WHY in the world is a half-made bed with a clothes-rack in lieu of a bedroom closet the feature photo for a $700,000 listing?
I saw this listing hit MLS earlier in the week, and I was rather impressed.
Not only was I interested to see what a “European Layout” was, but I was also dying to see a 3D bedroom!
Have a look:
So I went to the condo, expecting to see something like this:
But upon stepping into the unit, I realized that this actually represents the fourth dimension.
The third dimension is what we live in now, every day, all of us.
So this “3D Bedroom” was just another crappy condo…
So now let me get to a few MLS photos that I just can’t figure out.
In some cases, I can’t figure out what the hell is going on.
In other cases, I can’t figure out why this was the way the listing agent wanted to market the property.
And in most cases, it’s both.
I’ve never been a fan of the attempts to be “artistic” with photos on MLS, and frankly, this staircase photo makes me dizzy, and after trying to figure out whether this is looking up or down, I basically give up and stop looking at the house:
This makes no sense to me.
It shows zero floor area.
It makes the room look small.
And most importantly, it looks like the photo was taken from the eye level of somebody passed out face-first on the kitchen island:
Remember last week’s game, “Urinal or Sink,” which led to “Bedroom or Kitchen?”
I enjoyed that.
Well how about this one: “Which closet would you rather sleep in?”
Because don’t forget – that door on the right can be removed.
Did anybody say twin single beds??
At first glance, this looks like your average, ugly, ornate bathroom.
Have a look, and let me know what you see:
Do you see?
This bathroom has been blessed by the brand-name Gods, just like every spoiled 17-year-old with divorced parents, and a father trying to buy back her love.
This bathroom, which may as well say “Nike,” has tile brought to you by………………
Time to put your thinking cap on…
a) Run back to Home Depot and buy more of the same flooring
b) Use what you had from the job down the street and hope the home owner doesn’t notice?
I know, I know, you’re thinking “Notice what?”
It’s not obvious, but in that photo above, there are two different kinds of flooring.
You barely noticed. Cool. That just reaffirms that this was the correct decision…
Most listing agents don’t bother with “bathroom shots” unless you’re looking at a spa-like, 6-piece in a luxury home.
A 2-piece powder room is rarely photographed for MLS.
But what about when you shoot it once, and then again, but change your angle about 6-degrees?
You’re with me, right?
You’re thinking, “I wasn’t convinced this was ‘the bathroom for me’ after the first photo, but after the second, I’m ready to call it ‘home.'”
Don’t mind him…
That’s just Eddie. He’s not really a part of this sale.
And no, I didn’t have the required six seconds to take another photo for MLS, that didn’t have him in it…
You know it’s a true fire-sale when they strip the built-in appliances out of the kitchen:
But hey, at least they left the toaster oven!
Grilled Cheese, anyone?
Take the photos for this listing!
We have to shoot this house in fifty-six seconds!
Don’t even slow down, stop walking or pause to take that backyard shot!
People will just have to assume this house is tilted at a 45-degree angle, and thus the photographer did a bang-up job!
And last, but certainly not least, I think we’ve found an answer to Toronto’s rental crisis.
Just because you think you can’t put a basement apartment inside 200 square feet, and combine the kitchen with the furnace-room, doesn’t mean you can’t put a basement apartment inside 200 square feet, and combine the kitchen with the furnace room….
Have a great weekend, everybody!