What’s the difference between “Photos of the Week,” and my more-regular, “MLS Musings” blog posts?
Well as you probably assume, the “MLS Musings” contain photos, those bizarre and unforgettable, from active MLS listings in Toronto.
The “Photos of the Week” are from houses and condos I visit in person, whereby I often find a lot crazier features.
Let’s have a look at the ones I’ve collected over the past couple of weeks…
Let’s start with a doozie, folks!
Here’s an absolutely gorgeous renovation – one that’s tough to really find a problem with…
…except that the bathroom sink is in the bedroom!
I showed this to a couple of people who were like, “What? What am I looking at?” It’s like those 3-D puzzles that were big in the early-90’s; sometimes you just need to stare at it until it jumps out at you. The room looks so clean and polished until you realize it’s a fantastic mess of a renovation.
Not to be outdone, the bathroom itself had this odd hole in the floor:
And no, that wasn’t for a heating duct the way we see the vents on the floor in condo townhouses, as opposed to up on the ceiling.
That looked to me like a hole exactly the same size as the toilet drain, which was exactly across from the actual drain.
Is it possible they just cut a hole on the wrong side?
It reminds me of the time my mom shortened my Levi’s Jeans by two inches, both on the same leg…
For those of you that work in the construction field, maybe this next one isn’t that odd.
But it wasn’t just the knife on the floor of this 96%-finished condo, but rather the tape around the handle mimicking a classic jail-shank!
It reminds me of OZ. I miss that show…
Let’s continue the theme of poor workmanship.
I always tell my buyers, “If you’re looking at a ‘newly-renovated’ house, don’t look at the big things, look at the small things. Like where two pieces of trim join, or where the baseboard meets the flooring.”
If this is how the flippers of this house show what can be seen, imagine what they’ve done behind the scenes…
Such a simple task!
Take the bright-green painter’s tape off the ceiling fixture before you put the property on the market, or, for the love of God, do it on the first day of the listing, the second day, the third day…
Who was it that said, “Duct tape fixes anything“?
Was it from The Simpsons? Or Seinfeld? Or Home Improvement?
Well, the owners of this house figured that if one tube didn’t quite reach the other tube (it was off by two inches), they’d simply wrap duct-tape around the end of the first tube, and voila!
I laughed when I saw this.
Maybe heating and cooling isn’t my chosen field.
But I do know that if you’ve got electric baseboards wedged behind a gas radiator, then either one of them isn’t working (which is bad), or both of them are working (which is highly questionable):
I’m also not an electrician by trade.
But I do believe that the electrical panel is a little too close to the sink:
I’m also not a stager. And as was perhaps noted by the readers of Wednesday’s blog, a professional photographer…
….but I know what I like, right? This pretty set of wine glasses and flowers on the bed? Even though it’s completely impractical to have wine glasses on a bed in real life? Sort of how “practical” photos don’t really beat out “marketing” photos? No? Let that dead horse remain dead?
Okay. But what’s that I see in the wine glasses?
It’s just jagged pieces of broken glass…
….like I said, I’m not a stager.
Here we see another lovely set of wine glasses, but this time there’s actually, you know – wine!
What type of wine, I wonder?
Yes, you’re seeing that correctly.
It’s not wine, but rather sparking juice!
But not just sparking – it’s ORGANIC!
From now on, every time you see a bed in a house that looks staged, pick up the sheets and look at what’s underneath:
That’s bad, but this is far worse:
And last, but certainly not least, let me end on a positive.
I love the character that exists in some of Toronto’s Victorian-era homes.
Maybe I’m obsessed with history, and “how people did things” in just about every fashion before our time.
But I love looking at load-bearing walls that held up Victorian homes, when they’re made out of stones! Not poured concrete, not cinder-blocks, not hundred-year-old brick, but actual stones that you’d basically find out in the woods.
In this Junction-area home, they kept they restored the original foundation, and used it as a feature-wall in the basement rec-room.
It’s absolutely gorgeous!