Quick Hits!

Another week brings another unorganized collection of my thoughts, although what started as a “this and that” post, turned into a lambasting of a condominium project in my neck of the woods!

By all means – let me know if you think I’m being unfair…

DA MN!  You’re Good Looking!

There is a real estate brokerage in the city of Toronto that is only hiring beautiful people.

I can’t say which brokerage this is, nor can I give any hint whatsoever!  This is a libel lawsuit just waiting to happen…

But if you find this company, and if you go down their roster of agents, you’ll find that every single girl is drop-dead-gorgeous.  It’s like a brochure of hot women, one after the next, and while I don’t make a habit of commenting on the overall attractiveness of other men, I can admit that these are some pretty sexy dudes!

Is this a coincidence?

Could it be?

Remember the episode of Seinfeld where Elaine complained that the “Restaurant” they always frequent was only hiring big-breasted women?  In the end, we find out that the five waitresses are all the daughters of the owner!  A-ha!  An explanation was found!

But as for this Toronto real estate brokerage, I simply cannot chalk this one up to a “simple explanation.”

What are the odds of hiring 15 female agents and having them all be gorgeous and young?  What if Mabel or Blanche applied for a job here?  What chance do they stand?

That’s all I’m gonna say for now.  I think I’ve already said too much…

Just The FAX, Ma’am!

Sometimes you have to be lucky in order to be successful in real estate!

I was in competition last week for a beautiful loft on the east side, and we were just a nudge over the asking price.

The seller was expecting about $30,000 higher than we had offered, so I already felt lucky that there were only two offers on the property and we were in the game at just $5K over!

We had a 3:30PM irrevocable, and at 3:31, the agent called me and said, “Congratulations…..you lucky bastard!”

He told me a story which you can take for what it’s worth, but I highly doubt he’d make the whole thing up.

He said that he had given the other agent an opportunity to improve his offer, and he said “absolutley,” he’d improve.  He called back a while later and offered to increase the bid by $10,000, but added that he couldn’t get his client to sign it because he didn’t know how to type up an offer!  The listing agent asked, “Are you kidding?”  But the cooperating agent said that he had an assistant who handled all of his administrative work, and not only did he have zero access to EZ Offer, but he couldn’t use Webforms on MLS if his life was at stake!

The listing agent, who was working hard for his seller, offered to type the offer up himself and send it to the cooperating agent to sign.  The cooperating agent suggested that they simply take the offer verbally, but we all know that’s just not the same thing.

Finally, the cooperating agent admitted that he couldn’t get in touch with his client even IF he could put together an offer for him to sign, and with the 3:30PM deadline near, the listing agent was forced to accept our offer.

PHEW!

Who knew there were Realtors in this city so incredibly inept that they couldn’t type up their own offers – AND, they didn’t have enough sense to keep their buyer-clients close by when working on a deal?

Mail Strike?

Did the strike at Canada Post affect everything to do with mail in Toronto?

How come Post House Condos is still a parking lot and not a mess of steel beams and concrete pillars?

I just checked my notes (and my email…) and I was told on October 7th, 2010 by a sales representative on site, “They’ll be breaking ground in a matter of weeks.  The crane has already been ordered!”

You know, I ordered a beautiful table from a furniture store on King Street last week and I’m having trouble taking it back, so I’m wondering how you can send back a giant CRANE once you’ve (supposedly) ordered it!

Perhaps the crane was never ordered and that was just sales-speak?

Or perhaps like every other condominium project in the city of Toronto, Post House Condos is way behind schedule.  By my count, they’re now about 7-8 months overdue, and there is no sign that they’re starting construction any time soon.

But…..

One project that IS on time is the Berczy down at Church & Front.

I balked at the prices here when the project made its debut, but the one thing they have going for them, in my opinion, is that they’ve started construction around the time that they said they would.

And….

I have to give props to 2 Gladstone Avenue, by (beep beep!) Streetcar Developments.

I also balked at the prices here (although I feel fully justified since $550/sqft without parking was expensive then and today), but these guys are relatively on time as well.

The issue with small condos is that you never know what to believe:

1) “Well, we’re a really small condo so it won’t take long to build.  We’re only doing eight floors and 50-ish units, so the building will take 1/3 the time of a much larger project, and you’ll be moved in quicker, and have your profit out sooner if this is an investment.”

2) “The smaller the project, the fewer the buyers, and the easier it is to get away with murder when you’re 2-3 YEARS behind schedule.  The smaller projects are tougher to finance, and the companies who build them are likely doing so because they can’t afford to construct larger towers.”

Well, I don’t invest in pre-construction anymore, nor do I sell it, so this is all a moot point to me!

But Back To….

Post House Condos.

I don’t understand their advertising campaign; or maybe I do and I just think it’s lame.

There is a giant billboard on the George Street site where the building will (supposedly, eventually) be built, and it looks like this:

First and foremost – look at the girl, and now look at her knee on the left side there.

What do you notice?

Well, after seeing this billboard about two hundred times, I finally realized that this isn’t her knee!  It’s a chair she’s sitting in, although I always thought she was sitting with her knees pulled up and one leg was out to the side.

Anyways…

What I find strange (or to be honest – normal) about this ad is that it has nothing to do with the condo itself.

They simply have a photo of a pretty blond girl, and then “A Boutique Condominium.”

You aren’t buying into the condo, the location, the name or anything – other than the girl.  That’s the focus of this ad, although I suppose it could be argued that the $200’s is also a major selling point.

Call me crazy, but why not have rendering of the condominium itself?  Or a stamp, envelope, mailbox or something to do with Post House?

No?

Just throw a pretty girl up there?  And add your condominium’s name to the caption?

Okay, let me try….

…here….hold on…

THERE!

 

Wow, that was easy!

It took me nine seconds to click on the first photo I found in Google images, fourteen seconds to open the image in Paint, eleven seconds to write text and TA-DA! I have just come up with as good (or better!) an advertisement as many condominium developers can come up with after weeks of banging their heads together.

I’m not naive – I know that pretty girls have been selling cars and beer for years and years, but I guess it wasn’t until I really looked closely at the Post House Condos ad that I realized there is absolutely nothing here that entices you to buy a condo.

Final Thoughts

Hey, I’m as sensitive a guy as any.

If you’re having a bad day; if you’re stressed, angry, upset, tired, irritable, or anything in between, just take a look at this video and get ready to melt:

6 Comments

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  1. B says:

    Sounds like PSR. I’ve spoken with two different agents there on two separate occasions and yes they are good looking (one was male, no homo), but I also found them to be quite knowledgeable and professional as well.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Where’s the sales centre for 123 King Street? I’m there.

  3. george says:

    Attractive agents make it easier to justify $600+ psf in the Freed buildings.

  4. JG says:

    ummm….so what are the prices and sq footage at 123 King.

    I think I want to buy…

  5. George says:

    Isn’t making an offer the fundamental service an agent provides for a buyer? I feel sorry for the buyer for having to put up with whatever lie/excuse that agent was offering for why the offer never materialized. That type of incompetence should really be illegal.

  6. Graham says:

    Your first quick hit about the hot female realtors made me laugh. Have you ever checked out the brokerages in New York City? Most of the female realtors look like they had just given up on their modelling career.
    And then you have to deal with Robert De Niro’s son. Fun times.

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