The Friday Video Rant: “E” Is For “Apple”

Quick – think of the stupidest condo name you’ve ever heard of!  Got it?

Okay, now let’s see if we can beat it…

I know what you’re all thinking, and yes, I am aware of how low-budget this looks – standing in front of a brick wall.  What can I say?  I like these videos to look……ummm….. “authentic.”  Okay, maybe it looks like I’ve been taken prisoner and I’m being forced to speak to a camera in a bunker someplace, but at least the message gets across!!

A few of my colleagues went to this “launch party” last month, and they said the most shocking part about this development (and there are many…) was that there was no model suite.

You might choose to look at this in one of two ways:

1) The condos are so easy to sell, they don’t even need a model suite.
2) Times are tough, they’re not sure if the project will go ahead, so they want to see if they can sell units and collect deposits without shelling out $100K for a model suite.

I’ll let you decide for yourselves, although, according to my colleague, a third option might be worth considering:

3) Developers have had it so good, for so long, and are so arrogant, that they won’t put any effort into selling the units anymore.

And thus, we get the letter “E.”

My niece is now 2 1/2 years old (doesn’t it seem like yesterday that I was posting her birth-photo???), and I simply cannot get enough of her counting to ten, and rhyming off her A,B,C’s.  I swear, it gets cuter every time, especially when she hits the middle of the alphabet and says, “N-N-N-O-P.”  Don’t all kids do that?  But when I see “E” in red lettering on the front of a black background, like in the brochure for this condo, I can’t help but feel that I’m supposed to say, “Charlotte, what’s that letter?  Can you use a word that starts with ‘e’?”

It’s like no effort went into the marketing for this project.

And what does “E” stand for anyways?

Is it “Eglinton?”  Because if it is, they sure didn’t make this very clear!

Guys, I’m almost tired of ranting about pre-construction condos.  Almost

I’ve been doing this for the better part of three years now, and yet people are still paying 110% of fair market value for a loaf of bread that has yet to be put in the oven, and might be dropped on the floor by the baker…

“E” used to stand for “Excitement,” but now it stands for “Eeeeek.”

God Speed, if you still think of pre-construction condos as anything remotely resembling an “investment”…


Have a great weekend, everybody!  It’s supposed to hit 15-degrees on Sunday!

I’ll be doing an open house at 100 Hayden Street on Saturday if anybody wants to drop by and bring me a Starbucks.  What the hell is “venti” anyways?  Can’t I just get a large double-double with milk?


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  1. Horrido says:

    I concur. Preconstruction no longer makes any sense. Who the hell wants to wait 5 frickin’ years (or more)?!! I waited 4 years (one year over the 3 that was promised) for my unit and that was already painful. At least I got a great return, thanks to the price discount. Oh, and my parking spot and locker were included in the price! (The parking spot was valued at $25,000. What kind of idiot would pay $58,000 for parking???)

    I’m a bachelor, but I revel in my 1,161 sq ft of space. I’ve rented a 500 sq ft condo and it is like living in a coffin. The **minimum** size I would accept is 800 sq ft. Show me a person happy to live in 500 sq ft and I’ll show you a sociopath.

  2. Condo Chris says:

    @jolly – Why else would he put the time into writing a blog? For nobody to watch it? I think it was interesting, informative and made total sense .. Besides it must have worked because you responded.

    1. @ Condo Chris

      Jolly is a pre-construction salesperson for Remax. There’s a Twitter feed today from some of the “best” pre-construction condo sales people in the city, all complaining about my video.

      It’s like when people stop buying “magic beans,” all of a sudden, the magic-beans salespeople can’t figure out what was wrong with the product in the first place…

  3. Jolly says:

    This is an other example of Fleming trolling for attention.

    1. lui says:

      get off his site then…what he says makes sense.Toronto has way too many shoe box units and not enough affordable two bedroom units for actually families.Litmus test is already around the city to see how newly released condo projects are attracting new buyers,from the few I heard off it wasnt a great VIP showing.

      1. ScottyP says:

        Jolly obviously likes E.

  4. lui says:

    E equals Expensive…..

  5. bubba says:

    I’m pretty sure the ‘e’ is for excrement, it’s the only word that really describes what they’re offering

  6. moonbeam! says:

    Who lives in 450 square feet?? are we tiny people?

  7. BillyO says:

    More importantly, what about the fact that E when launched in VVVVIP was around $700 PSF no parking (that was $65K, with a monthly maint fee of $120, on TOP of fees of 0.54 cents or whatever BS Bazi’s was saying and that does not include heat, hydro or water).

    Rumour has if sales were so abysmal that the shorter of the two towers might get chopped or the overall height of the project maybe be reduced either way, $700 PSF north of Bloor? Exactly.

    And the name is stupid.

  8. Deez Nuts says:

    Great Vid! Extrapolate this video’s content into all real estate related info and you have David Fleming super agent

  9. Jeremy says:

    Venti is Italian for 20, and a Starbucks Venti is 20 ounces.

  10. George says:

    I appreciated the shout-out to The Polka Dot Door and all of its “What’s that Marigold?” glory.

  11. Graham says:

    E.E. Condos is my pick for the re-brand.

    There’s no way that pool is being constructed as is.