Today, I will be using my special powers for good instead of evil.

Being a Realtor means that I am in my car probably ten hours a week at the minimum.

A by-product of this is knowing where all the speed traps are in Toronto….as I have been caught in most of them…

So to help out my fellow Torontonians, here are a few locations to look out for…

Before I got in to real estate, I had no idea how much time I would actually be spending in my car everyday.  I’m constantly driving around this great city of ours, looking at condominiums, houses, infill sites, and running errands when I still tell people I am “working.”

While I keep myself entertained by listening to FAN590 radio and a constantly changing array of mix-CD’s (which may or may not contain “I’ve Got The Power” by C & C Music Factory), I’m also always on the lookout for speed traps.

Ever since I read an article in Maxxim Magazine back in university, that featured an interview with a former radar-wielding police officer during which he revealed his secrets, I’ve considered it a challenge to avoid the radar traps in Toronto.  It reminds me of my tireless search as a child to find the red-ring in the Nintendo classic Zelda…

Here are three things to consider:

1) Down a Hill – The easiest place to get picked off is when you come up over a hill and head downwards.  Not only because you will gain speed coming down the hill, but also because the police officer can wait at the bottom and you have no chance at seeing him when you come over the top.

2) Around a Curve – For the same reasons as above, when you come around a bend, you can’t see the police officer in the distance.  On any straight-away, at least you have a shot.  Cops want to catch you by surprise.

3) Changes in Speed Limit – This is a really cheap move by the cops, but when the speed limit changes from 50 KM/H down to 40, the cop can just wait a block away, and grab you for doing twenty over the limit when it was only ten a couple seconds ago.

So here are my top-5 speed traps in Toronto:

1) Eglinton Ave (Leslie/Don Mills) – Just expect that they are there EVERY day.  Going west on Eglinton towards Leslie, they catch you as you come over the hill from Don Mills, and pull you over right before the Leslie turn-off next to the Inn on The Park hotel.  Likewise, going east, they wait near the Science Centre at Don Mills and get you coming from Leslie.  They are there every day, trust me, I would know…

2) Moore Ave (Bayview/Mt. Pleasant) – I’ve been caught here too, but I beat this one in court last month.  This straight-away is actually a 40 KM/H, but people do upwards of 80 on it.  Going west from Bayview, the cops will be on your right-hand side next to the second TTC bus shelter, often hiding behind it.  Sneaky!  They are here almost every day as well.

3) Eastern Ave (DVP/Sumach) – There are two reasons why they grab you off Eastern Ave at the bottom of Sumach Street: 1) You are coming off the DVP from the Richmond Street exit, probably doing near 100 KM/H on the DVP as this turns into a 50, 2) You are coming off Eastern Ave near Broadview, and speeding up and over the hill.  There is also a police station a block away, and cops are quite lazy.

4) Lakeshore Blvd (Roncesvalles/Jameson) – Again, there is a police station near here, so the cops don’t have to move much.  But as you head east on Lakeshore, around the curve towards the Boulevard Club, they get you with a double-whammy as you head around a curve AND they are mounted at the hilltop with radar-gun-in-hand.  I’ve never been caught here, as I just assume they are there 24/7.

5) Bayview Extension (Rosedale Valley Rd) – There is this one cop who rides a motorcycle and just leans against it like I lean against the bar at a pretentious Toronto nightclub “putting out the vibe.”  Right as you pass the DVP on-ramp, and head around the curve with the Rosedale High School field on your right, this cop will be leaning against his bike with a radar in his hand.  He’s usually there mid-day, and never during rush hour.  My sister thinks he’s really hot, but she said she’d never date a cop….again…

So there you have my Top-5 speed traps.  It’s amazing how unimaginative cops can be, as they are always at the same speed traps over and over again.  Ultimately, they seem to stick with what works, and I’m amazed at how people can see these traps on their way to work one day and still manage to get caught the next.

If I could make two more suggestions:

1) Blink your lights at oncoming traffic as you pass by a speed trap.  Let your fellow drivers know there is a cop ahead.

2) The minute you get a speeding ticket, head down to the court house to book a trial.  Not only will it buy you 12-15 months worth of a delay, but more than HALF the time, the cop doesn’t show up to trial, and your case gets thrown out.  If they do show up, you’ll at least get a reduction of the charge.

I don’t want to come off like a jerk here, but in my four years in real estate, I’ve received over a dozen tickets for speeding and moving violations.  The number of those that I have paid is equal to the same number of Stanley Cups the Toronto Maple Leafs have won in the last 40 years…

I gotta cut this blog post short.  I’m eyeing a radar detector on EBay and the bidding expires in five minutes…