If you’re new to TRB, then you might find to be an amusing distraction while you drink your morning coffee, or you might think this is a simple-minded alternative to talking about real issues affecting Toronto real estate.

However, I’m constantly shocked, but not quite surprised, at what makes its way into MLS listings, so I’d like to highlight (lowlight?) some of the most amusing images, descriptions, and mistakes that you might find while perusing the Multiple Listing Service.

And if you see anything out there that amuses you, please send it my way!

Let’s start with an absolute beauty!

I understand when agents try to “think outside the box.”  I get it.  I did it with this blog in 2007 and it seemed to catch on.

However, when you’re listing a 2-bed, 2-bath condo for sale, maybe you should show some of the condo, and not just…….the sink?

No seriously, let’s count.  Just for fun:

6 photos of the sink
1 photo of coffee mugs
1 photo of fake flowers
1 photo of fake flowers…in a closet
1 photo of door handles
1 photo of a curtain on a floor
1 photo of a light fixture (actually pretty cool, but still…)
1 photo of a bath towel
1 photo of……..floor tiles?  What the hell is that anyways?

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When did the CN Tower get so short, fat, and stubby?

Maybe this agent didn’t know how to properly size images?

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A friend of mine at P.S.R. is always sending me photos, and recently, there’s been a glut of “thumb photos.”

Check this one out:

Now that is the feature photo on MLS!

See how it says “1 of 3” in the bottom corner of the photo?  That’s the lead photo!

The property was re-listed last week (Gee, I wonder why it didn’t sell?) and guess which photo leads the pack?

This one:

Awesome.

I wonder what the rest of the house looks like?

Maybe the backyard?

That photographer must have the fattest thumbs in the world, seriously.

But for the life of me, I can’t figure out why somebody would take these photos, and either:
a) not see the thumbs
b) see the thumbs, but use the photo(s) anyways

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There are ways to remedy really, really, really crappy camerawork.

If you take a tall, narrow, vertical photo, and you require a horizontal photo for MLS, simply open the file in “Paint” on your PC, and use the “Fill” tool to blot out whatever is on each side of the subject property:

It looks like a flag!

Like Canada, if we used a “Cash & Carry” instead of a Maple Leaf…

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Here’s a typo on MLS.

Trust me – I tried really hard to get that 205% commission…

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What the hell does the following refer to?

I understand that “Bramd Mew” is supposed to read “Brand New,” but what is “A; Pst” and what does it refer to?

Mispelling “chic” as “sheek,” I understand.  Well, I don’t, but it’s a turn of phrase…

But what the HELL is with the intro?

And at any point, does the agent not look at the listing and say, “HOLY CRAP!  I’d better fix that…”

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This is a neat way of marketing………in Alabama.

Not Toronto though…

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Okay this is hilarious!

Read it first before I give you my thoughts:

So did they mean:
a) “flipping building permit” as in the permit to flip the house?
b) “flipping building permit” as in “f****** building permit”?

When I get frustrated while writing an MLS description, sometimes I swear too…

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And last, but certainly not least, the only thing worse than somebody’s thumb, is something that leaves you guessing for hou