I love this.  I absolutely love it!

I cannot think of a more hilarious caption in an MLS listing in this market:

Does this agent have any idea how offers work, let alone pre-emptive offers?

I feel so bad for the seller!

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This is really making sure agents know what they’re doing.

It feels like I’m getting a scolding for just browsing the listing!

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Okay, so this one isn’t a “ha-ha” funny as much as an intellectual funny.  Like laughing at a friend who mixed up the Treasury Secretary with the Secretary of State…

I use my 463 exact characters in the “Remarks For Clients” section very carefully when I list properties for sale.

Rarely do I tell buyers what is “around” the area, since I would rather talk about the property, but “TTC @ Your Doorstep” or “5 Min Walk To Union” can have value

But this is questionable:

Questionable?

Really?  Isn’t what I just said?  Not really, considering this photo appeared among the 20 on MLS:

Still confused?

Well the condo is on Queen West at Dufferin, near the Drake Hotel.

The photo above is from Drake 150.

Epic fail?

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See if you can tell what’s amusing in this MLS description:

There are no periods.

Every single sentence ends with an EXCLAMATION MARK!

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You know the layout in this condo is absolutely brutal when the TV is glued to the kitchen wall:

If only I could show you the floor plan for this unit, then you’d understand.

So is this any better or worse?

Don’t get me wrong, I credit anybody out there who can make today’s condo layouts work, and affixing the TV to the concrete pillar is not the worst idea.

But man, does it ever look bad.

Come to think of it, a buyer client of mine has never purchased a condo with a pillar-mounted TV…

How about a wall-mounted TV in a living room, that doubles as a front foyer, and is about as wide as a hallway?

Welcome to lower-level condo-townhouse living!

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Can you spot the photographer?

Can you spot the photographer?

Can you spot the photographer?

Can you spot that photographer’s twin brother…………the photographer?

Can you spot the……….umm…………….girl with the iPhone, and her friend?

Speaking of friends, who did you bring along to your PDI, and ask to check the washer/dryer, but did not ask to move when you took a photo that would, apparently, help market your condo for sale?

Yes, that’s a real photo that appeared on MLS for a downtown condo listing.

The words you’re looking for are “what” and “the.”

I notice the owner of this condo also didn’t tell this hard-hat-wearing representative from the builder to move out of frame while he or she snapped this picture of the world’s worst kitchen:

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I’ll give you one hint why I know this condo has been on the market for a long, long, long time…

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I just don’t know what to say here…

…except that I might have made some different staging suggestions to this seller.

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Is this marketing?

Another micro-condo, except this one has a bathroom next to the oven.

I actually think that might have been a better way to market this property than opening all the goddam doors.  “Cook while you’re on the can!  Welcome to micro-condo living!”

Okay, but how do you “market” a locker on MLS?

Maybe like…………..this?

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No, wait, I got it.

The very definition of “marketing” is taking a photo, with 1/3 of the frame blocked by a piece of door trim, of 2/3 of of a shower:

How could anybody not want to buy this condo?  There’s already a built-in soap rack!

And to think this was photo two of six.

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Seen one pillar, seen em all, right?

Not necessarily.

This pillar, to this kitchen, is truly like Goliath to David:

I *might* have shot that kitchen from a different angle.

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And last but not least, this photo was on MLS and made me dizzy:

Yes, that is an upside-down AND crooked photo.

So it’s not just the fault of the person who took the photo for taking a crooked shot, but also the fault of the person who put it on MLS upside-down.

I mean, who said there are “good” and “bad” agents out there, right?

Have a great weekend, everybody!