Did you know that attendees of the Humber Real Estate Education Program are referred to as “learners”?

What’s that about?

Is the word “student” not progressive enough anymore?  What the hell is a “learner?”

I kid you, not.  A learner himself forwarded me an email last week from Humber College about the rampant cheating, er, “misconduct” that’s going on among the learners in the “college” right now.  Topic for another day, but man-oh-man, is real estate education ever a joke right now.  And since they were stupid enough to put their email in a hyperlink, I have no problem sharing it with you, HERE.

So with that in mind, let me start today’s MLS Musings with a few helpful hints for any learners currently reading…

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As a Realtor, attention to detail is important.

This applies in many areas, but when writing your MLS ‘blurb,’ it’s incredible what a difference one letter can make.

For example:

Huh.

Duck work.

What does that look like?

Maybe this:

Or perhaps this:

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As a Realtor, it’s also important to not make assumptions.

For example, if you assume that everybody in the world has heard of this new thing called “Google Maps,” you might come to regret that!

And that’s why one really smart Realtor decided to point out, quite literally, the location of his listing, then take a photo of his finger on the map, ensure it’s blurry and unreadable, then post that as the feature photo on his MLS listing…

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Then again, another Realtor had the brilliant idea to forego a photo of the exterior of the building for his condominium listing, while simultaneously acting as though Google Maps has been shut down forever, and then either climbed into a helicoptor, sent a drone into the air, or rented a hot-air balloon for the day so he could take a picture of the building, then circle it in red, and post this as a photo on MLS:

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Other Realtors have not only heard of Google Maps, but have learned to use it to their advantage!

Let’s say you’re an agent, grinding out a living with 5% commissions on $2.5M houses, and you wake up one day and say, “I really don’t want to get out of bed and go take a crappy iPhone photo of my new listing, let alone hire a photographer, stage the property, or do anything of that sort…”

Enter: Google.

Simply search the address in Google Maps, click “Street View,” and voila!

CTRL-FN-PRINT SCR

And you’ve got your one and only photo for MLS:

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Some Realtors figure, “less is more.”

That feature photo on MLS might not be all that important, right?

Why use the whole rectangular, landscape area when you can choose to use 1/4 of the area reserved for the photo and insert a sliver of a picture of the home:

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That house isn’t actually skinny.  It’s just an awful, miserable attempt at “marketing” this house.

But skinny is in, right?

Like skinny houses?

Why else would we see things like this:

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What do you picture when you see the phrase, “Beautifully landscaped terrace, just in time for summer”?

Something like this, maybe:

Yikes!

It looks like they staged a World War 2 bunker.

Just add a table and chairs to this, since the same amount of greenery is already present…

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Is this the worst “outdoor cinema” you’ve ever seen?

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Is this the saddest exercise bike you’ve ever seen?

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Is this the worst “balcony” you’ve ever seen?

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Is this the ugliest, most unnecessary, most incongruent counter/wood/rock slab concoction you’ve ever seen?

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Is this the best “staging tiger” you’ve ever seen?

Wait….what?

Staging tiger?

What is that?

Come on, really!  Act like y’all don’t know…

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Last, but certainly not least, who is the happy couple, avec les enfants, who are forever immortalized in the MLS archives by being present while a Realtor snapped a photo of the pool at this lovely home?

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Well, that’s it for me, folks!

As many of you may know from watching Pick5, I finally downloaded Spotify last week!

No more searching Napster for MP3’s.  Not for this guy!

If only there were a portable music player that I could take on my long weekend runs, however.

And with rain expected this weekend, is there such a device that is compatible with the weather?

I wonder….