If a tree falls in the woods, but nobody is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
Tough to say!
Maybe, yes, maybe, no.
But if your roommate and his girlfriend have the Barry White CD on in the next room and are getting freaky, does that make a sound?
Not if you have the same amount of insulation as this house!
🙂
–
Drones are cool.
I like drones.
We’ve even used drones for some of our marketing.
But if you listed a property and took twenty-six photos, including one with a drone – in the middle of winter when everything is covered in snow, do you think that would make for a great “Feature Photo” on MLS?
Also, isn’t it June?
Where did this snow come from?
–
This feature photo might be worse.
I mean, there’s no snow, but there is a screenshot, from somebody’s iPhone, of the “Walk Score” of the property:
Oh, wait, there are three photos for this listing!
See the bottom corner? This is 1 of 3, meaning that they didn’t use a building facade or pretty living room photo as the “Feature Photo,” but at least there are two more, right?
I wonder what those photos are of….
–
PT Barnum said, “A sucker is born every day.”
I can’t imagine who is going to ingest this succulent load of bullshit:
Forget that this isn’t grammatically correct in any way, and makes no sense.
But if it did read something like, “The energy in this home has been analyzed and it’s been determined that it can positively impact the potential for wealth,” who in the WORLD would put any faith in this?
–
This is what happens when your dog runs on your keyboard as you’re inputting text to the “Client Remarks” on MLS:
–
What is the most prestigious neighbourhood in Toronto?
Rosedale? Forest Hill?
It’s Bridle Path, for sure.
But according to this listing agent, who is probably also a feng shui consultant, it’s just next to the National Mattress Outlet and down the block from Napa Auto Parts…
–
There’s something slightly off about this listing.
And before you ask, no, it’s not the guy eating pancakes in the feature photo…
…okay, fine, it is the guy eating pancakes in the feature photo…
–
Who wants to work out the price per square foot for this unit?
Or this one?
–
These “dollhouse” renderings always weird me out.
Like, what’s happening here?
Is this a family? Do they hate each other? Are they all hiding out?
Mom and Dad are in the master bedroom and just had a fight. Dad has his back turned to Mom, and Mom is sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the floor. Are they getting a divorce?
Brianna is looking out the window in her tiny bedroom where the bed almost touches the closet door, and she’s wearing overalls because she wants to bring back Osh Kosh B’Gosh. Up next: Cotton Ginny.
And down in the south bedroom, Maverick is studying in his alcove. But what’s that? There’s a girl in his room! She’s almost out of sight, sitting there on the corner of the bed, looking forlorn. Is it possible that he chose studying over an “on-top-of-the-clothes” cuddle with her?
–
THis listing has not one, but two photos of the lockbox:
And the code is punched in.
Bravo.
Now any random person on House Sigma, Realtor.ca, et al has the code to get into your client’s property, you jackass.
But thank you for taking a photo of the feature sheet and putting it on MLS. Wait…..two photos.
–
Not to be outdone, here’s a photo of a floor plan. Not a scan, but a photo of a piece of paper being held by who I can only assume O.J. Simpson:
–
Again, I have to stress: the “Feature Photo” is important!
Why does this listing for a $1.7M house have such an uninviting feature photo?
And the second photo is even worse!
It looks like somebody was running by the house and quickly took this picture before they were chased away by the neighbourhood watch:
–
Watch the first step, it’s a doozie!
–
What marketing presentation of a home isn’t complete without a blurry television showing an HGTV program probably about crappy real estate listings?
Oh, the irony!
–
“No, don’t get up, it’s not important.”
“We really just need a photo that gives the ‘gist’ of the place, and buyers will flock to your home!”
“No, seriously, don’t worry!”
“Please don’t go out of your way, it’s cool.”
“Also, go ‘Riders!”
–
Last, but not least, if this is the only photo you have to showcase a property, whether you understand Portrait vs. Landscape vs. Panoramic, or not, maybe you just don’t put a photo on MLS?
–
Have a great weekend, everybody!
Different David
at 10:29 am
“Watch the first step, it’s a doozie!”
Ned! Ned Ryerson!
LucasJ
at 10:54 am
Sorry David, but just because you don’t believe in Feng Shui (I don’t either!), doesn’t mean that there aren’t people out there that do put stock in what these certified Feng Shui consultants say.
Ace Goodheart
at 11:56 am
Feng Shui is like religion. It is only true, if you believe in it.
They might as well have put that the house was “blessed” by a priest or a rabbi, and therefore the new owner will make lots of money.
That is true, if you are a believer of that particular religion. Otherwise, it is not.
So advertising to the general public that the new owner will make lots of money because of Feng Shui, is not really good advertising.
Ace Goodheart
at 3:07 pm
Just reading through our soon to be mayor Olivia Chow’s election promises.
One stands out for me.
If a house is sold in Toronto, the City will have the right, within 60 days of the final agreement being reached (house sold unconditionally) to purchase the house, for the agreed upon purchase price.
So the city can buy the house out from under the successful bidder.
Doesn’t that put a kink in an already nearly impossible to break into market?
Wow. Just wow
David Fleming
at 3:39 pm
@ Ace Goodheart
I just checked the calendar and it’s not April 1st.
You foolin’, son?
Different David
at 5:32 pm
https://www.oliviachow.ca/olivia_chow_announces_secure_affordable_homes_plan_for_renters
Look at the end of point 1
Ace Goodheart
at 6:05 pm
Nope. See below from “A Different David”
When Chow wins (and she will) this becomes law in Toronto
60 days. 60 days to wait and find out if the house you purchased is actually yours.
Imagine. You’ve sold your home and have to move out. You’ve bought a new place, and you close in 60 days.
Then you get a registered letter from the City of Toronto….
Brutal.
Different David
at 10:17 pm
I wonder how they would actually go about passing legislation to circumvent an APS…would they have to expropriate each property?
If so, Doug Ford could put a stop to that by amending the Expropriation Act.
Ace Goodheart
at 11:05 pm
I think she’ll need Provincial help for a lot of what she is proposing. She also intends to stop Doug Ford from turning Ontario Place from what it is now (an abandoned amusement park that the Liberals dumped on Toronto almost 20 years’ ago and then just forgot about) back into a destination people might want to go to.
Which she can’t actually do. Wants to stop the Science centre move (can’t do that either).
I am much more concerned about how high she plans to hike property taxes. She doesn’t seem to realize that a property tax hike is a slam dunk approval for an above guideline rent increase (so she isn’t helping tenants by doing that).
I see our “woke” media is doing their usual head in the sand stuff when it comes to Chow. Not a peep from them about any of what she is proposing. Constant propaganda articles in support of her.
Oh well. I hope people vote with their brains and not just vote for whomever the media is supporting. We will see…
David Fleming
at 11:57 am
This is insane.
This is incredibly dangerous.
Politicians have become tyrants in this country.
And yet a large percentage of the population will applaud this measure, with absolutely no understanding (or care to understand) the chain reaction it would have in the housing market.
This would result in utter chaos.
Different David
at 2:52 pm
I can see crafty realtors come up with provisions in the APS to the effect of “if a 3rd party overrides any provision of this agreement, the purchase price shall increase by $100,000, of which half goes to each of the buyer and seller”.
Or some other kind of poison pill that companies put into their corporate structure to prevent takeovers.
Greg Morrison
at 9:43 pm
David, I’m relatively new to your blog, and you may have covered this previously, but… why is it that so many of the write-ups in real estate listings are so bad? (Poor grammar, every word capitalized, all-caps, exclamation marks galore, missing hyphens, run-on or incomplete sentences, effusive adjectives everywhere, spelling mistakes, etc etc.) Surely writing a paragraph of clear prose isn’t all that hard? Do they cover this in courses for would-be realtors?
Nobody
at 10:04 am
It’s not very hard to get a real estate license and there are tens of thousands in the GTA. Average quality is low, with half being below that!
Quality of listing really doesn’t affect sales price, at least for commodity products, so people don’t try. Same as photos, same as quality of units in rental market!
For lots of buyers and sellers an agent’s English fluency doesn’t matter as much as their fluency in Mandarin/Russian/Hindi/Punjabi…
You see quality effort for descriptions, photos, websites, videos, staging, etc at high prices (over 2 to 3 million) but not every time even then.. Under $1 to $1.5 million, realtor effort doesn’t matter and every dollar spent on a listing comes right out of an agent’s pocket. Tons of short term focused agents will just refuse to spend that time/money.
Greg Morrison
at 8:32 pm
Good points, thanks. I see what you mean.
One might think that agents would be personally embarrassed to put up shoddy work in their listings, but maybe average-and-lower people in this line of work don’t have such feelings.
A potential home buyer, though, hunting around for an agent might take the view, well, if their writeups are bad, or their photos are bad, then other aspects of their professional work may be similarly slipshod — and pass them by for another agent who projects a higher level of competence.
I, personally, would NEVER work with an agent whose listings were in all-caps 🙂