Bad, bad, bad!

Is this how we market properties?

Do these photos represent “professionally staged” properties, or is this just a joke?  Do some of these sellers consider themselves to have “renovated?”  Do they know what that means?

It’s amazing what some people think qualifies as “marketing.”

Just have a look…

Two clients of mine have asked me about a certain condominium unit in a certain high-traffic area, that seems way, way too good to be true.

The unit shows impeccably well, judging from the MLS photos, but sometimes, you just have to visit the unit in person to see what’s what.

There is only ONE window in the condo, and it looks out at an alleyway, from the 3rd floor.

It overlooks the dumpsters and garbage bins from the restaurants on Yonge Street.  Take a look – this could be your view:

What is your definition of “gorgeous?”

Or how about “luxury?”

Both words were used to describe “Crystal Blu” at 21 Balmuto, specifically the outdoor pool on the second floor.

To continue the alleyway theme, trust me when I say that to the left of the pool in this photo, is a disgusting alleyway that runs behind Yonge Street.

And the pool, although empty for the winter, doesn’t really convey “luxury,” nor is it in any way “gorgeous”…

Some people think “less is more.”

That may be true in some cases, but what the HELL is going on in this photo?

Is this truly what qualifies as staging these days?

What is the worst part about this photo:

a) the lime green colour
b) the rushed paint job that left brush marks everywhere
c) what could have POSSIBLY been so bad that they had to paint over it with lime green

This photo is from a unit, where the MLS listing read, “Unit Shows Like A Model Suite.”

I would have probably written, “Booze + Guitar + Arnold Schwarzenegger Encyclopedia of Bodybuilding = Obvious Tenant.”

Parents – when you buy a condo for your kids to live in, or when you give them money for rent, they ALL end up living like this.

Oh – and this is the bedroom….

How come every carwash in the city has a bulletin board with Realtor’s business cards on it?

Here is a classic example of where something looks good, but it isn’t in any way practical.

We see this all the time in houses; do you want functional or flashy?

Here’s a mailbox that measures a little more than 5-inches wide, and can only fit letter-sized envelopes.

You’ll have to cancel your subscription to all those $2.99 gossip mags……..yeah……the ones that my condo happens to be full of…

And last but not least, here’s a flyer that was put up in the lobby of a condo I was in on the weekend.  It’s just nuts…

Some things in life should be purchased at the “lowest price available.”

I mean, white rice, for example.

But when talking about something as important as your child and their professional care, do you really trust somebody who advertises, “Guaranteed lowest price in the neighbourhood?”