This week features some staging “do’s” and “dont’s” as well as some very questionable features and finishes in townhouses…

If you’ve read my blog more than once in your life, you’ve heard this staging rant before…

I just don’t understand why people continuously list real estate – likely the person’s largest asset – for sale when it’s not ready to be sold.  My business model is that I do everything possible to maximize the value of the asset, and anything less is not worth my time.

There is some “smoke and mirrors” with real estate, and ultimately a property that shows like a model will fetch more than the same unit if it’s vacant.  But doesn’t that go without saying?  And it’s that, in a word, “fair?”

A condo might take several weeks to prepare for sale, and it could make the difference between a $339,000 sale price and a $315,00 sale price if the unit is dirty, messy, smelly, worn down, banged-up, dark, and full of cat-hair.

I can’t, for the life of me, understand why anybody would list a property in this condition:

That’s an actual photo taken from MLS, even with the date in the bottom left corner that’s off by seven years.

A property like that is not worth listing.  Nobody is going to pay fair market value, let alone top dollar.

And I always hear the same arguments from the listing agents: “Look at the comparables!  They speak for themselves!”

No, you know what speaks for itself?  Your inability to do your job.  Get your seller in order.  And if there are tenants, then pay for a cleaning lady once per week until the listing sells.  Offer the tenants a month’s rent for free if they keep the unit in top shape.  Can I make this any clearer?

How can you get excited about a “renovated, updated kitchen” when it looks like this:

It takes all kinds.

And when it comes to the actual staging, some people have radical ideas.

Some people are on the “cutting edge” and have great ideas, while others readily demonstrate that they have no clue what to do.

A prime example?  How about scattering rocks behind your toilet:

Another trend I’ve noticed lately is the shoddy workmanship in condominium townhouses.

Buyers often feel that all condo townhouses are essentially built from the same blueprints, but don’t go thinking that the quality is all the same!

I have two issues with the photo below:
1) They have used a ceiling light fixture on a wall.
2) They actually put a light on the slanted wall above the stairs in the first place!

Here we see yet another ceiling light smacked on the side of a wall.

First of all, the light should actually be on the CEILING and not the wall!

Secondly, if you’re going to put a light at the top of the stairs, why not get a wall sconce or something that doesn’t look so clearly out of place?

Keeping with the theme of condominium townhouses, consider the 3-storey units with the rooftop terraces that we’ve grown accustomed to seeing in Liberty Village, Bathurst & Queen, and on Stadium Street by the waterfront.

Some of these rooftops don’t have a drain in the centre of the terrace, and many of them are slanted so that water pools in front of the doorway.

I’ve seen huge pools of water in front of these doorways before, and here is a photo of a door where water penetrated the rubber membrane outside on the terrace and not only did it leak into the stairwell, but it seeped into the ceiling and flooded the bathroom on the second storey:

Here’s a little piece of poetry found on the streets of New York.

You already know how I feel, so I’ll keep my comments to myself…

(FYI – I don’t agree with the anti-Obama rant, as this was clearly written by an angry Republican.  I don’t think the “Occupy” movement has anything to do with being a Democrat or a Republican)

Lastly, here’s a really cool staging item from a west end condo.

The unit itself was small but it was one of the best staging jobs I’ve ever seen.  It was super modern, hip, chic, and all those adjectives that mean essentially the same thing…

But there was a little bar setup with glasses, booze, and these napkins:

So if you’re a girl and a guy comes up to you at a bar with a drink and one of these napkin, do you think it’s:

A) the cutest thing you’ve ever seen
B) a good way to start a conversation
C) a novelty that shows little initiative
D) the actions of a guy trying way, way too hard…