Does the squeaky wheel get the grease?

I got a referral from an old friend of mine, and the potential client was a nightmare from the get-go.

He was the  kind of person who didn’t need a real estate agent, because he thought he knew more and could do more than any experienced Realtor ever could…

When I was about four years old, and still learning how the world really works, I used to stare at this cool remote-control car in the Consumers Distributing catalog, and close my eyes and wish for it really, really hard!  Then I’d open my eyes…..and it would never be there.

It’s amazing how many times people do this in the real estate market.

Just because you hope, wish, and really want something to happen, doesn’t mean it will.

A friend of mine from high school, whom I recently reconnected with, called me to tell me that a friend of his was looking to sell his condo and was desperate for a good agent.

I was elated, to say the least.  Referrals are a huge part of our business, and it was nice that an old buddy immediately thought of me when he overheard his co-worker was looking to sell.

He gave me the co-worker’s name and phone number, and I gave him a call.

For the purposes of this story, let’s call him “Clint.”

Clint was an investment banker, and at the risk of offending all my buddies who work in I-Banking and who read my blog regularly, I will say that they are…..a different breed.  Maybe working 100+ hours a week makes a person go insane, but I knew right from the start that Clint would be difficult to deal with.

Clint talked very fast, and very loud, but very efficiently.  He was basically shouting into the phone.  I told him that we had a mutual friend and that I was informed Clint needed help selling his condo, and I was more than happy to oblige.

Clint told me he owned a 1-bedroom unit at CityPlace down on Navy Wharf.  His unit was about 600 sqft, and faced south….from the 4th floor.  (I’ll come back to this later).  I took down the info, and told Clint I could definitely help him.

Clint said, “David, that’s fantastic news.  Great to hear; look forward to working with you.”

Then he added, “So how soon is your client looking to move in.”

Right then and there, I already knew how this entire story was going to pan out.

I told Clint that it was my understanding he needed an agent to sell his condo.  Clint agreed, and said that was the case.  I then told Clint that I would be willing to list his condo on MLS, and thus sell it for him.

Clint laughed.

“David, I don’t need you to list my condo, I need you to SELL it!  Bring me a buyer!  I already have a listing agent.  You fu*kers are a dime a dozen!  Anybody can list this goddam thing.  Bring me an offer!”

I replied, “Well, I’m sorry to hear you feel that way, Clint.  But I’m offering my services to you as a listing agent.  I was under the impression you wanted to list your condo, and that’s something I could do for you.”

Clint shot back, “Well, David, I’m standing in my condo right now, with my current listing agent, and we’re just about to run the agent’s open house.”

Stop there for a second.  “WE.”  We are going to run the agent’s open house.  “We,” as in Clint and his agent.  Why the heck is Clint there?  Why isn’t Clint, you know….at work!

The fact is, some sellers are control freaks.  That, I understand.  But there is absolutely ZERO purpose in a seller being present for open houses, and it’s actually a detriment.  Buyers, and agents, are uneasy about viewing and evaluating a property if the seller is hovering over them!

I’ve only ever seen a seller at an agent’s open house once before, and that was an 80-year-old couple who lived on St. Leonards.  They were old and in poor health, and probably didn’t leave the house much.  But they were also really sweet, and I actually sat and talked with the man for twenty minutes about World War II, since I noticed his photos on the wall.

There is a huge difference between this kind old man being present for his agent open house, and Clint being present for his.

Clint was present because he is a pompous, arrogant ass.  He was there to point out the obvious things like saying “Those are upgraded kitchen cabinets, you know.”  Thanks Clint!

Clint went on to explain to me that he was now with his third listing agent, because as he put it, “You guys are complete bullsh!t.”

Clint explained to me that none of the listing agents he had hired were willing to sell the property for what he wanted.

I found this to be quite amusing.  Nobody was “willing” to sell for what he wanted—-as if the agents determined the price, not the market!

Clint told me that the market was “bullsh!t” since he paid $190,000 for the condo three years ago in pre-construction, and he “needed” to get $285,000 for it now.

For the record, similar units were selling for $259,000 during the four month period that Clint re-listed his condo over and over and over…

Imagine for a moment that you are analyzing a particular stock on the TSX.  You read their annual report cover-to-cover, research what industry experts have to say, inquire with your friends in the industry, and eventually purchase the stock at $40/share, assuming that the equity will have risen to $65/share in three years.  Then, three years down the road when the stock is selling on the open exchange at $57/share, you put in a limit order for $65.  Wouldn’t that seem a little strange?

Clint didn’t care.  He is the kind of guy that goes through life knowing more than anybody, about anything.

Clint actually told me, “David, if you do have a client for this place, just bring him to me first and we’ll work out a deal like real men….you know, without all the red tape.”

Red tape eh?  You mean like—-rules and regulations?  You mean like the RECO Code of Ethics or the CREA Guidelines?

Why should I assume that Clint would pay me a commission anyways?  What’s to say he wouldn’t stiff me and claim “It’s a tough world out there, junior!”

And let’s not forget about what Clint had purchased: a 4th storey unit in a 50-storey building, surrounded by six other 50-storey buildings, where his unit is so close to the Gardiner Expressway that you can almost reach out and touch it!

Let’s summarize Clint’s process:
1) Make terrible investment.
2) Set unreal price expectations.
3) Blame real estate agent.
4) Blame real estate market.
5) Fail to adhere to reason.
6) Go down with the ship.

It takes all kinds in this business, and I usually just say “to each their own.”  Some people just can’t be helped because they don’t want to be helped; because they are the only person that can ever help themselves.

I don’t know if Clint is financing this condo with private money, but if he isn’t, then the interest has got to be piling up by now.

Oh yeah, for the record, Clint’s condo is still on the market today.

Same price.

Different agent…