Okay, terrible play on words, but remember the song “Putting on The Ritz” from the 1980’s?  Don’t you feel nostalgic?  No?

Fine.  Let’s just talk about the Ritz-Carlton then…

Good LORD there have been a lot of spins on the original Ritz Crackers over the years!

Ritz Cheesy.
Ritz Peanut Butter.
Ritz Bits.
Ritz Bits Sandiches (both Cheese & PB)
Ritz Roasted Vegetable.
Ritz Whole Wheat
Ritz Reduced Fat
Ritz Low Sodium
Ritz Crackerfuls.
Ritz Honey Butter
Ritz Fudge.
Ritz Brown Sugar Cinnamon.
Ritz Muchables.
Ritz Pretzel Rounds.
Ritz Kickin’ Cheddar.
Ritz Extra Cheesy.

Eight minutes.

Eight minutes – that’s the answer to the question you’re all asking: “How long did this loser spend researching all the different types of Ritz crackers for his (ahem) blog about real estate?”

Ah whatever.  At least I found it interesting…

I was browsing through new listings today and saw one at 183 Wellington Street West, aka the new “Ritz Carlton,” and I found it rather interesting.

Well, maybe “interesting” isn’t quite the right word, but what do you call a one-bedroom condo that is priced at $1.1 Million?

THAT’s interesting!

So I did a search for 183 Wellington Street and found twenty-one active listings in the building.

I’m not denying that this is a gorgeous building.  I think that goes without saying.

But I do think that this building requires a very, very specific buyer.

Here are some brief observations and statistics from the data I pulled:

• There are 21 active listings on MLS.
• The average price is $1,874,286.
• The prices range from $999,000 to $4,100,000.
• The average price per square foot is $940; a low of $796/sqft and a high of $1,234/sqft.
• The highest price per square foot is reserved for the most expensive units (it’s the other way around in many buildings).
• The average days on market is 128.
• Nine of the twenty-one units for sale are owned by corporations and/or holding companies.
• Five 1-bedroom units are listed for $1 Million or more.
• Only two of the twenty-one listings do not include actual square footage measurements, meaning only 9.5% of the listing agents are utterly useless.
• The word “opulence” appears in more than one listing.
• One listing was described as “Magazine Worthy,” even though some magazines cost $1.99 and always have Kim Kardashian on the cover.  Surely there are better descriptions, no?
• Three listings had “hotel” spelled “hotal.”
• Only six listings did not have a spelling mistake.  That’s what you get when you pay your Realtor $50,000 in commission…
• One listing has “None” under “Laundry,” which is not true.  Again – $50,000 in commission to mistakenly advertise that you don’t have laundry…
• Seven of twenty-one listings have been reduced in price.
• Twenty-one of twenty-one units have zero outdoor space.  That’s right – no units have balconies.

I’m no expert, but for $4.1 Million, I’d love to have a balcony.

Then again, I could probably call concierge to come up hook me up to a bungee-cord so I can dangle out the window.  The amenities and services at the Ritz-Carlton are insane!

Lastly, have a look at the following photo of the Ritz-Carlton, and tell me if that’s a real reflection of the CN Tower, or if it’s photo-shopped in.

You decide!