A few of these stories, observations, and opinions have been in my mental queue for quite some time now.

In fact, a colleague beat me to the punch about one of them, so I figured I’d get them out there before they become old news.

In lieu of dedicating an entire blog post to some items that might not deserve it, please enjoy the following Quick Hits…

Can’t We Just Pay People To Sell These Damn Things?

That must be what some developers are thinking out there as the market for pre-construction properties declines.

Sure, developers always pay people, notably agents, to sell their properties.  But how much?

Oh boy…

A typical buyer-broker commission in the industry is 2.5% but it can often be 2.25%, 2%, or even $1 in some cases for “mere postings” where the commission is negotiated with the seller.

In the pre-construction world, we often see 3% or 4% commissions, and I’ve always argued that this demonstrates how developers expect buyer agents to put their own wallets and best interests before that of their buyer-clients.

But what if that commission were higher?

What if it were a whopping 5%?

Don’t you think there are some buyer-agents out there that would push their buyer-clients into pre-construction rather than resale?

What if the commission were 6%?

What if it were higher?

And what if a commission was offered that was the equivalent of what some people make from their occupation in an entire year?

Somebody sent me this screen-shot from Tik Tok, so I have no idea who the guy with the beard is, but look at the ad:

That’s insane.

10% with an asterisk, but it’s still likely 10% at some level.

And 10% of properties starting at $949,990.

We’re talking about paying agents $95,000 commissions to sell houses.

How is this possible?

Is it likely that the developer simply increased the asking prices of these units by 7-10% and then started offering unheard-of commissions?

In an unrelated story, I hear Thorold is nice this time of year…

One Solution To Housing Woes: Fewer People!

Toronto has a housing crisis.

Have you heard?

It’s also, potentially or not, depending on your political view, being exacerbated by rampant immigration of both permanent residents and non-permanent residents or “NPR’s,” and has led to some unfortunate souls sleeping on the street in front of shelters.

So what’s the solution?

Oh, I don’t have an answer, in case you’re wondering.  I wasn’t going to volunteer one but rather I’m genuinely asking.

A colleague of mine sent me a “PUBLIC NOTICE” from 1944 and mused, “Here’s one solution that will never be offered.”

It’s true.

And while it’s very difficult to view history through the lens of today (even though people do this constantly and attempt to apply moralities of 2023 to actions and individuals from hundreds of years ago…), I figured I would share the public notice just for discussion purposes…

Wow.

Can you imagine?

On the one hand, good for them!

On the other hand, how dare they!

Imagine a municipality coming right out and saying, “We will not assume any responsibility”?  It’s crazy by today’s standards!

But in ALL CAPS at the bottom of the notice reads:

DO NOT COME TO TORONTO

Yikes.

I don’t know that this is an answer in 2023.  Then again, I don’t know that it’s not either…

You Haven’t Made It In Real Estate Until You’ve Been Defaced!

When I got into the real estate business in 2004, I can’t tell you how many times I said, “I’ll never be ‘one of those guys’ who has his face on a goddam park bench!”

No way.  No how.

Wasn’t gonna do it.

The billboard guys.  The bus shelter guys.  The side of the bus guys.

But what about the garbage bins?  Are they the same thing?

I moved down to the St. Lawrence Market area in 2006 and I decided that this would be my “farm area.”

Everything was cheaper back then, so sending out admail thirty times per year to 12,000 condos seemed like a viable business plan.

But it wasn’t complete.  Nope.

In order for that to work, you’d have to get your name and your face out there.

And that’s when I put my face on city garbage bins.

Holy shit, it sounds so weird to say now.  This is such a distant memory, and yet it seems surreal.  I did that.  Yes, me.

The cost was nominal as this was before Astral Media was given a monopoly by the City of Toronto and basically quadrupled prices (circa 2008 maybe?), although as a taxpayer, I’d be more than okay with that.  So I picked up five garbage on Front Street East and King Street East and up went my name, image, and likeness!

One Saturday night, my friends and I were out drinking at the local watering hole and after stumbling out of the bar, a buddy stopped to tie his shoe and crouched down.  He paused in his crouch, and as if he were slowly turning toward the Alien or Velociraptor from a horror movie, he came face-to-face with…

…me.

My stupid real estate face plastered on a garbage bin.

He literally yet out a scream, then some profanities, then laughter the likes of which I’ve never heard.

Then they all laughed at me.

Then they started telling random people, “Hey, yo, this is him!  That guy there is also this guy, right here.”

I was mortified.

But deservedly so, I guess.  I never planned to be the bus shelter guy or the park bench guy.  I didn’t like it, but it worked.  I sold a ton of condos down in my neighbourhood and that continued well after I got rid of those garbage bins.

That’s just a distant memory now.

But I will say that everybody who has an outdoor advertisement or a sign has had theirs defaced.

Some of us get off lightly: perhaps a mustache drawn in black marker?

Others aren’t so lucky.  Use your imagination.

One of my colleagues recently posted this on our company chat:

Honestly, you have to applaud the artist.

This isn’t a black Sharpie, folks.  This is two cans of spraypaint, one pink, one purple, and it took effort and planning.

I think my colleague should frame this.

The ‘culprit’ did this to hurt my colleague, so why not turn a negative into a positive?  Everybody needs at least one piece of eclectic art in their home, so why not turn this defacement into a trophy?

And sometimes, you just have to see the humour in it.

That’s what an agent out in New Brunswick did when somebody defaced his “FOR SALE” sign.

Here’s turning a negative into a positive for ya:

Crash Course In Photoshop?

One of my favourite things to see on MLS (and by “favourite” I mean an opportunity to laugh at the shortcomings of others), is when a property listed for sale has a backyard that’s obviously so ugly and awful that the seller, listing agent, or a really bad assistant essentially paints it green.

Paints?

Yeah, like maybe in Microsoft Paint that comes with Windows.

Or imagine cropping a small square of grass from an image found on the Internet and then pasting that small square twenty times on the photo of backyard.  Just try to picture how stupid that looks, and yet, people do it.

Wait…I remember one of these!

This was 2020 or thereabouts, um, ah, here:

I suppose one might think this is just fresh sod laid out in identical-looking pieces?

Or it’s a copy-and-paste in Paint.  Yes…

But what about photoshopping someone into a photo on MLS?

A friend of mine found this advertisement on Facebook Marketplace.  It’s for a rental on Bay Street and for some odd reason, there’s a lady photoshopped in the picture of the lobby:

Wait….what?

Why?

What does this woman photoshopped into the picture of the lobby have to do with the unit up for lease?

Maybe I’m just old and dead inside, but is this about sex?  It has to be, right?  Since the dawn of time, advertisers have placed women in ads for cars, cigarettes, or airplanes simply to appeal to their simplest senses.

But then, when we see the second photo in the advertisement, I get really confused…

This makes even less sense.

That woman seems to be floating in the air, or at the very least, has to be ten feet away from the black chair that she’s supposed to be sitting on.

And why is she wearing a mask?

I don’t want to get into “all that,” but, um, like, isn’t the pandemic over?

In any event, this mask-wearing woman floating in an air-chair is superimposed in this photo and I can’t figure out why.

Ah, well.

This unit is for lease on Facebook Marketplace.

It’s not like they listed it for sale on MLS with the same photos…

…er…

…um…

Well, that’s it for me, folks!

I hope you enjoyed these quick little snippets.

Enjoy the weekend, and I’ll see you back here on Monday!