I received a call yesterday from an agent’s assistant during which she told me that a condominium I had shown to a buyer would be “coming off the market very soon,” and that if we were interested, we should act immediately.

I chuckled, said “thanks,” and then hung up.

This is the #1 most frustrating sales tactic that I experience each and every day…

I respect that each and every Realtor has a job to do, whether working for buyer or seller, and that quite often this comes with feeding a cooperating Realtor a whole lot of rubbish.

But sometimes I get fed up.  Sometimes I just want to yell, “You are so full of it!”

There are a handful of ridiculous sales tactics that I hear over and over again, and each one is worse than the next.

A couple months ago, I wrote a blog post called “BS” that dealt with a listing agent feeding me unbelievable lines in attempts to gain negotating position, and in the end, we didn’t get a deal done.

Today, I’d like to present even more BS that 99 times out of 100 is complete fabrication.

#1: “We’re taking the unit off the market.”

This has been known to work from time to time.

When I sold my family home, my father was growing tiresome of the stale listing (a whopping 11 days) and was going to take the house off the market.  It wasn’t until that very moment that a buyer materialized and we got the deal done.  That buyer probably thought, “Oh no!  I’m going to miss my chance!”

This happens, but not as often as we’re expected to believe.

Last week, a Realtor’s assistant called me and asked me for feedback on a listing I had shown.  This unit had been on the market for only three weeks, but had been listed previously two other times.  She then added, “Just to let you know, the unit is going to be coming off the market very soon.  Thanks.”

I laughed and hung up.

But I should have sarcastically replied with, “No worries, if and when my buyer is interested in this condo which has been listed three times in the past eight months, we should be able to track down the seller and the listing agent since the gleam in their eyes will likely shine in the sky light the bat-signal.”

The unit is still on the market, and likely will be for some time.

I feel like my intelligence is being insulted when I’m fed a line like this.  People think that if they threaten to take a property off the market that we’ll coming running along with offer in hand!  But more often than not, it’s just a ploy, and the property is still available for days and weeks on end.

#2: “My client doesn’t need to sell.”

Right.

And my client doesn’t need to buy either.  He just wants to.  Like your seller wants to sell.

Now that we have that out of the way, can we negotiate in good faith?

There are some cases where a seller doesn’t “need” to sell.  Sometimes, a property owner will test the market and list his or her property before buying anything else or even beginning the process.  But most of the time, a person who is selling NEEDS to sell.

I find it absolutely hilarious when an agent claims that the seller doesn’t need to sell,  yet the unit is vacant.  Show me a bigger sign of a motivated seller than a vacant condo!

If a seller has already bought another property, then they do need to sell.

If a seller is moving out of the city, then they do need to sell.

Likely 95% of the properties listed belong to sellers that NEED to sell.

So why is it that so many of the agents I talk to tell me that their clients “Don’t really need to sell”?  I guess maybe some people believe it.  I never do.

Do you think people who list items on Ebay do so because they’re bored?  Or for fun?  Or for any other reason than wanting to SELL that item?

I don’t need food and air, but I’d really like it to help me sustain life…

#3: The property is also for rent.

This goes hand-in-hand with the point above, as many sellers will also list the property for lease to try and demonstrate that they don’t “need” to sell.  It shows the potential buyer that the seller is exploring several options, and attempts to weaken the buyer’s negotiating power.

But even when the seller actually does entertain the idea of leasing, in good faith, you can almost guarantee that they’d rather sell the property.

Whether you’re an investor or a user who has moved on to another property, taking the profit and disposing of the asset is a much easier and much more favourable option.

If you were a user and have purchased a new primary residence, then renting the property will turn it, by legal definition, into an investment property.  That opens the door to tax issues, capital gains, etc.  You’d much rather sell and move on.

If you were an investor who had a vacating tenant and had the unit up for sale and for lease, tell me you wouldn’t rather take the money and run?  Even if the unit brings in positive cash flow, you’d surely have to look at the lump sum payment on the immediate horizon.

#4: Ridiculous comparables.

Along with the theme of insulting intelligence comes “comparable” sales that aren’t really all that comparable.

As a listing agent, I recently had an offer faxed to my attention with three accompanying MLS listings for properties in the same building.  These units had all sold in the spring of 2010.  But you know what?  There were sales in the Fall of 2010 as well, and one in January of this year!  They were for more money, and I suppose the cooperating agent was hoping that I didn’t know what the heck I was doing.

On the flip side, I often have listing agents tell me “look at the comparables” and rattle off properties that have nothing in common with the one we’re looking at.

I had an agent last year try and tell me that a comparable sale I was using “included the square footage from the balcony” and was actually the same as the unit he had listed.  So I tracked down the original property manager for the building, got a hold of all the floor plans, and scanned them and emailed them to the agent with a list of which units referred to which floor plans.

The incredible part is, he just kind of shrugged it off.  He was beaten, but he just said, “Well, my client doesn’t need to sell.”

#5: “We’ve had 60 showings!”

This isn’t always a good thing!

If I submit an offer on a property that has been on the market and hasn’t sold, or better yet – a property with a set offer date that past with no offers having materialized, then I expect the listing side to realize they have reduced bargaining power.

But many times, the listing agent will say, “No way, we’re getting full asking price.  We’ve had 60 showings and there’s a ton of interest!”

Really?  “Interest?”

If you’ve had 60 showings and no offers, I would call those people “uninterested.”

That’s 60 active, informed, rational buyers that decided not to offer on the property.

#6: “Another agent might be bringing an offer.”

Yeah?

Well I might have a date with Minka Kelly, but that all depends on whether Scarlett cancels on me, and whether or not I deem Natalie Portman to be “worthy.”

But until I actually go out on that date, it’s all just conjecture – at best!

I talk to a lot of agents who say, “Well I’ve had a few calls; lots of activity; tons of people buzzing around; a few agents have asked questions.”  None of that means anything until an offer is produced.

If eight agents say, “My clients might bring an offer,” it’s worth absolutely zero.

And if I’m negotiating a deal and the other side tells me that somebody else “might” bring an offer, it doesn’t change my position in the slightest.