Let me tell you a story about something that happened to me recently, and yes, it’s related to the headline above.
And then let me tell you a story about something that happened to a friend of mine, and then we can enter into the umpteenth “House vs. Condo” debate.
Is it better to have the carefree, easy-going lifestyle of a condominium, or the private, independent-ownership that comes with a freehold home?
One thing’s for certain: the grass is always greener on the other side…
I’m not one of those people that needs to take a 40-minute steam-shower in the morning to “wake up and prepare for the day.”
In fact, I might be a little more like Cosmo Kramer – always trying to find the more efficient shower, that takes less time!
Either way, there’s one thing I think we can all agree on: it’s never nice to have your shower interrupted by a complete stranger who has somehow found his way into your bathroom.
Let me set the scene…
Last Tuesday morning, I was halfway between “shampoo, rinse, repeat” with my trusty bottle of Pert Plus that hasn’t failed me since childhood, when suddenly my dog started go growl.
The growl became a full on bark, and I knew something was up.
I popped my head out from behind the shower curtain, just to check on my dog and see if perhaps she was barking at her shadow, and to my surprise, I was face-to-face with a strange man, that was two steps from making this shower a duet.
“Hi,” I said, at a complete loss for words. And you should know from reading my blog – I’m never at a loss for words.
“(something in another language),” he said, as he remained in my bathroom for some odd reason, when all logic and reason would dictate he would probably leave.
I was fully naked, in case it wasn’t obvious. I mean, we all do shower naked, right? Unless you happen to be one of those guys that shower in their underwear at the gym. What’s up with that anyways?
At no point did my nakedness motivate this man from turning around and leaving, which I take either as an insult, or a compliment.
Finally, I shooed him away with my hands, since he didn’t understand a word I was saying, and he disappeared through my bedroom, and into my living room.
I turned off the water, grabbed a towel, and covered myself. Dripping wet, I slogged through the bedroom and into the living room to see what was going on.
This story is already pretty bad, but the only thing worse than one uninvited guest is, you guessed it, two.
A woman was sitting on the arm of my couch, and she said, “He no speak no English.”
Right. I kinda got that already…
She then said, “We clean ducts. We clean,” which I probably would have been able to deduce, given there was duct cleaning equipment on the floor.
There was no concierge anywhere to be found, so still in my towel, I walked to the front door of my condo, opened it, walked into the hall, and found the concierge – a young girl, brand new (they replaced all our existing conceriges, you know – the good ones, that we knew and liked…), who was leaning against the wall, texting on her phone.
I went back inside, got dressed, and ignored the man and the woman.
I then wrote a very polite, albeit somewhat snide and sarcastic email to the building’s property manager.
Among other things, I told her:
“I’m not sure what’s worse: the duct cleaners that the building hired, who lack logic, reasoning, and ability to hear running water, not to mention language skills, or the concierge who allowed this event to transpire in the first place.”
And to this day, I still haven’t been able to answer that question.
A concierge should knock on the front door of the condo multiple times, very briskly, before opening the door. They should then knock on the inside of the door, with a “Helllooooooo” or two, before concluding “this unit is empty,” and allowing service people to enter.
As for the service people, well, I guess expecting them to run out of the condo when they hear water running and notice a person is still home, is probably too much to ask.
I told this story to a couple friends of mine the other night when we were out for dinner, and my wife and I said, “Man, oh, man, we’re getting really tired of the condo life.”
Our friends, who have been in a house for five years, said, “Are you serious? Every day, we look at each other and say, ‘Wouldn’t it be great to back in a condo?’ We think about it all the time.”
They then began to regale us with their latest experience…
Our friends live in a neighbourhood where, apparently, you cannot build a garage from scratch. If there’s an existing garage, you do not dare tear it down, or you’ll never get a permit to construct a new one. If you don’t have a garage, then you never will. At least, according to local legend…
I’ve seen people build garages in this area who aren’t supposed to, so it all depends on how you want to go about it, and whether you’re a rule-breaker by nature.
My friends, who I may as well make up names for – we’ll say Phil & Amy, since I’m watching golf while I write this, live next door to a house that has no garage, and never has – through two owners.
One day, Phil came outside to see his neighbour unloading a massive skid of wood onto the concrete pad where he parks, and Phil said, “Building a deck?” The neighbour replied, “Nope. Building a garage!”
Phil found this somewhat odd, since he had never seen anybody on that laneway build a garage, and since he was told by a city official himself that he had to “repair each wall, one at a time” with respect to his own garage, since permits would not be issues to build anew.
Phil and Amy watched in amazement over the next two days as the neighbour constructed a monstrosity that was at least 50% higher than their own garage, and looked completely and utterly out of place with the other garages on the laneway.
The problems continued to mount, as the neighbour was renovating his own home, without a permit, building this garage, without a permit, and was working on both well into the night. Phil & Amy’s kids couldn’t sleep as the saws were humming past midnight.
Amy tried to discuss this with the neighbour, but he told her, “I’ll talk to your husband, man-to-man. He’ll understand.”
Amy lost it, and finally called the City of Toronto to complain.
Days passed, Amy watched, and nothing was done about it.
Amy called the city again, but no inspector showed up.
It wasn’t until Amy’s third call, plus one from a friend pretending to live on the street, that a City of Toronto building inspector finally showed up to inspect the garage that was being built illegally, without a permit, at 1 1/2 times the height of the garage next to it.
And what was the result?
NOTHING!
The inspector talked to the neighbour, and the two seemed to share a couple laughs, before the inspector got in his car, and drove away.
Amy called the city again two more times, but no inspector was ever sent.
And the day after the inspector was sent the first time, Amy buckled her child into the car, did up the automatic garage door, and proceeded to back out of the garage, but there was a truck parked sideways, blocking her in.
It was a contractor’s truck – somebody working next door on the house that was being built illegally, without permits.
Amy pounded on the door, streaming tears, and it took a half-hour for some sheet-metal worker to come out and move his car.
How did the neighbour respond?
“Only a woman would get so worked up and be so irrational about something so small.”
Over the next two weeks, the neighbour completed his garage, and added one ingenious little item that will affect Amy & Phil for as long as they live in the house: the neighbour slanted the roof of his garage so that all his rainwater drains directly onto the roof of Amy & Phil’s garage.
So what do you do?
Does Phil pretend he’s 18-years-old again and fight the neighbour, “man to man?”
Do you call the police?
They called the city inspector – SIX TIMES!
In a condominium, you call the concierge when there’s a dozen drunken morons partying in the hallway of the condo, outside the party room. But the concierge might not show up, or if he or she does, they might not do anything.
In a condominium, you can complain to property management when something isn’t being done right, but there’s no guarantee that they’ll respond in the manner you see fit.
In a condominium, the board of directors – five residents, make the rules, and oversee the building.
So while living in a freehold property rids you of the board of directors, property manager, and concierge, it doesn’t make problems any easier to solve.
I think you’d agree that you’re far more likely to call concierge when you’re living in a condo than you are to call the police when living in a house.
And it’s not like the police would take a skill-saw out of the police cruiser trunk and start taking down the monstrous garage that acts as a sun-blocker as well.
What do you do when you’re a home-owner and you need something done, or need a stop put to something that’s going on?
On the flip side of that argument, you have residents that take it too far.
A few years ago, a client of mine was renting a house in Rosedale as a stop-gap solution between moving his family here, and getting settled long-term.
About 3-4 months into the lease, he realized that he and his family hated being “renters” as they had all kinds of plans for their house, but couldn’t do any of them since this wasn’t their house. It was also a pretty run-down property, compared to everything else on the street.
So half-way through the lease, we began looking at houses for sale, and we found one they loved – but it meant they had to eat four months’ rent.
They moved out of the rental, and into their new home, and never looked back.
This was May, however, and by July, the grass on the front lawn had grown. Yes, the grass grew, and THAT was criminal, according to a neighbour.
Yes, folks, a nieghbour on that street called the police, because the grass on the house across the street was too long, and the police had no choice but to investigate, and since I had been trying to sublet the house, they called me!
They wanted to know who lived in the house (or didn’t, as it would seem…) and why they didn’t cut the grass.
I apologized in advance, told them I sympathized with what they were saddled with doing, and then I hung up.
To the person that called the police – they were well within their right.
To me, they were insane.
But to each, their own. And I don’t know if I could convincingly argue that neighbour was wrong.
Long grass may or may not be criminal, but when it comes to living the carefree, low-maintenance life in a condominium, versus that of a privately-owned, single-family residence, the grass is always greener on the other side.
Joe Q.
at 10:21 am
Not sure what the process for inspections is supposed to be, but if your friends are really concerned, they should request a meeting with their city councillor. Of course it’s always better if everything is documented in writing with dates / times as appropriate.
The “grass may always be greener on the other side” but in this case, I’d take building code violations over random people barging into my home while I’m naked, any day of the week. What if it had been your wife at home alone when this happened?
Mike
at 11:37 am
When dealing with the City on matters like the friends with the neighbours garage, there is a page on the City of Toronto web site that documents any complaint, where they stand and what action is being taken. The City is required to be out there and inspect the property within two-weeks of the complaint being filed. The problem is that finding this page on the City’s website is next to impossible; its there but there is no clear path to it. If you can find it you can track it and take the results to your City Councilor to see if you get any further.
My experience with City Inspectors has been some guy pulls up in a Mercedes takes a quick look then pops back in to his Mercedes and drives off. I don’t know if City inspectors showing up in Mercedes is what we want in the city. I’m probably not the first person to think that maybe that Benz was bought with bribe money.
In addition to the City and your Councilor, you might also want to make calls into the Workers Safety Board to have an inspector come and make sure they have insurance. If they’re working without permits there’s a good chance they don’t have adequate insurance and they will get shut down.
jeff316
at 1:11 pm
If someone is showing up to inspect in a Mercedes, it is definitely not the City but more likely the electrical guys. City inspectors don’t make a tonne.
Annie
at 11:44 am
Your opening story was a wonderful bit of writing and completely made my Monday. I might as well go to bed, nothing is going to top this today.
Boris
at 12:24 pm
explain why not cutting your grass is illegal?!!
Natrx
at 12:49 pm
I don’t know why, but it’s in the by-laws. Virtually every city has it.
http://www.toronto.ca/311/knowledgebase/50/101000042150.html
It might have to do with vegetation affecting the surrounding area, proper water drainage/rain run off similar to why you can’t just expand your driveway. Appearance which also affects property value in the area, or maybe animal issues.
Mike
at 12:56 pm
Long grass is a haven for rodents like rats as well as being unsightly.
Boris
at 3:55 pm
8 inches is pretty damn long. What assclown calls the cops for this? They should be invoiced for wasting taxpayers dollars.
Kyle
at 1:36 pm
David this seems to be turning into a regular occurence. Perhaps it’s time to invest in one of those chains on your door.
https://torontorealtyblog.com/archives/hello-my-name-is-david-fleming-and-im-naked/7412
David Fleming
at 3:16 pm
@ Kyle
HAHAHAHAHA OMG! I forgot about that!
Yes! I remember the concierge handing out our key!
Although now that I’m reading this, I really need some new material! The Pert Plus bit is sooooo old!
Jay Van Havel
at 1:54 pm
Unless you have a 10,000 square foot lot, you will be at the mercy of local galoots:
http://cdn.static.ovimg.com/episode/182757.jpg
This breed is difficult to wrangle and thrives on random acts of domestic barbarism. Wealth alone is not a prevention either since you can find these nesting in any neighborhood and small businessmen can be a rich source of galoot spawn. Only physical space can offer relief.
GinaTO
at 2:29 pm
When we sold the condo two years ago, I was ready for a house, and we were lucky enough to find a decent detached in our price range. The main reason we wanted a house very much holds true: I don’t have to worry about waking up/disturbing anyone when my toddler yells at 4 am or drops his toys on the floor. Oh, and backyard for gardening and kid shenanigans.
The flipside, though, is the seemingly never-ending repairs, and not even of the fun variety: pipes, front porch, and now water infiltration through the concrete walkway… I now know how expensive it is to replace concrete… But oh well, can’t win ’em all. I’m still happy we have a house.
Kyle
at 4:07 pm
As much as it pains to have to repair things, in Toronto it’s probably cheaper to maintain/repair your detached house than the fees would be for an equivalent sized condo. And condo maintenance fees don’t even cover a lot of the maintenance required inside the unit.
For some inexplicable reason maintenance fees are up in the $0.60/sq ft here, but outside of this city they are often below $0.50/sq ft.
Appraiser
at 3:36 pm
I used to envision a condo as the entry and exit points of the home ownership saga. It’s where first time buyers wet their feet and the final resting spot for those enjoying their golden years.
In between those two points, the whole raising-a-family-in-the-house era seemed to make sense. However, with lifestyles changing, people marrying later (if at all), having fewer children (if any) and higher density living becoming the norm, I’m not so sure if my Leave It To Beaver patina still holds true.
Joe Q.
at 12:16 pm
Appraiser — it is likely partly the lifestyle priorities / changes you mention, and partly financial issues. As you know, house price appreciation (detached and semis) has been much more rapid than condo price appreciation.
TOGuy
at 4:58 pm
Moral of the story: Phil and Amy are dicks!
rinah and jon
at 7:26 pm
Did you see this article about the Forest Hill McMansions. Surprised how little the city does to stop by law infringement.
http://www.torontolife.com/informer/features/2015/02/25/mcmansion-wars-neighbour-versus-neighbourh-forest-hill/
Yonge and Hatelington
at 9:01 pm
The moral of the story for me is its time to build that loft over the garage…
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at 3:21 am
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Appraiser
at 9:14 am
TREB mid-month sales stats are out this morning for March:
Overall sales up 11.8% year over year. Condo sales up 14.7%.
Overall average sale prices up 10.6%. Average condo sale price flat.
Average detached house price for first half of March – wait for it: $1,099,239.
Natrx
at 10:39 am
The economy is roaring! Whatever happens to the local Toronto economy, housing will always be a backstop. Things like this contribute it to being the Greatest City on Earth.
Alex
at 1:13 pm
Who uses Cosmo Kramer as a reference for someone who does not spend much time in a shower…and no one has thought of being interrupted in the shower by a stranger, in a good way?
I am sure the rest of the article is solid…
Get Out Of Here
jeff316
at 1:17 pm
That’s the downside of home ownership – whether or not you get good neighbours is a real crapshoot.
We lived beside a really friendly hoarder, but still a hoarder. When she left we were happy the place was getting renoed but wary of who would move in.
The guys who subsequently bought and flipped her house were pretty decent but instead of burying the electrical line to their garage they’ve left it above ground, encased in plastic tubing. Not just against code, but a nice safety hazard … whether to call the city? I don’t know.
Phil and Amy should just redirect their garage downspouts in front of their neighbours property and they’ll be fine. 🙂
johnny chase
at 2:22 pm
Dave – what you are saying can’t possibly be true. Are you telling me that every time it rain, Amy and Phil get even MORE water on their garage roof? That’s totally insane. If those single only last 20 years instead of 25, they should sue their neighbours.
Sanvi Choudhary
at 12:23 am
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at 5:34 am
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