Hot diggity!

It’s story time!

As I said at the onset, this might seem like a whole lot of venting from me today.  But it also might help to explain what’s happened to business practices in the rental market, wherein the players and the game have changed beyond recognition.

So without further adieu, let me get right to it…

No, I will not pre-approve your client.

We’ve talked about this many times before here on Toronto Realty Blog, but before I head into the next sections, we need a brief refresher…

While historically, the process of securing a rental property has involved viewing the property, submitting an offer, providing the landlord with supporting documentation (credit check, employment letter, etc), and having the offer accepted by the landlord, many rental agents have decided this simply doesn’t work for them.

This started a few years ago: rental agents will email the listing agent with the tenant(s) supporting documentation and say, “Can you please look this over and let me know if I should book a showing?”

Essentially, they want a “pre-approval” of their clients before they bother showing the condo.

This is utter laziness, in my opinion, and while some might suggest that it could make the process more “efficient,” it opens every landlord up to a discrimination case.

For my last rental listing in Liberty Village, I received fourteen emails from agents asking me to pre-approve their clients.

I don’t respond to these emails, and I don’t know any listing agent who does.

It’s an utter disaster out there, and I feel really bad for the tenant-clients of these lazy agents.

–

Okay, fine, I’ll pre-approve your client.

I just finished saying that I don’t respond to those emails, but two weeks ago, I found myself sitting in a waiting room for an hour…

I had a few of those emails on my phone so, as a cure for boredom, I started to read through the “supporting documentation” for a few tenants.

Lo and behold, two of them were good.  Not excellent, but above average.

So I emailed the rental agents back and said, “I’ve had a look at the supporting documentation.  While I can’t speak for the landlord, and it’s not my decision to make, I think you can proceed with a viewing.”

Bear in mind, I didn’t say anything about the tenants’ candidacy, but I’m just extending an arm to those agents.

So, now that those agents received the answer they were looking for, what happened next?

Nothing.

Like, literally nothing.

Neither of the two agents responded, let alone booked a viewing.

What an absolute waste of time.

What an absolute joke of a process.

You know these agents are firing off thirty emails for thirty different properties, right?

Whatever happened to professionalism?

–

Congratulations…..or not…

This one takes the absolute cake, folks.

I sat down to review three offers on a condo rental listing, all of which looked good, and my landlord-clients and I decided to proceed with a candidate.

I called the candidate’s agent and said, “Hey, my landlords want to do a quick Zoom call with your tenant-client, but they’re ready to move forward.  We’ve signed the lease offer, and I’ll send you a copy shortly.”

Amazingly, the agent said: “Hey, sorry, which property was this for?”

“Was” is past tense.  That wasn’t a good sign.

I said, “It’s 123 Fake Street, Unit #321.”

He sounded like he was shuffling papers in the background, and he said, “Oh, yeah, no, we’re not interested in that one.”

Huh?

Come again?

I would hardly call a signed offer to lease a lack of interest, would you?

I told him, “We just signed the Confirmation of Acceptance.  What do you mean you’re not interested?”

He said, “Yeah, like, I dunno, I kind of forgot we had that one out there.”

I was hung up on the word “one,” so I asked him, “What do you mean that one?”

Incredibly, he said, “Well, we put out like six or seven offers, right so we’re just trying to narrow it down…”

I asked him, “Did you say you put out seven offers?”

He said, “Yeah, something like that.”

I asked him, “Do you have seven clients?  Are you looking to rent seven condos?”

He said, “No, dude, no, just one client, man.”

I asked him, “So what would have happened if all seven of the offers you submitted were accepted?  What would have happened then?”

He replied, “My client is only renting ONE condo, bro.”

I told him that the offer he gave us had an irrevocable date of 12:00pm the following day, and that when you sign an offer and provide an irrevocable, it means (duh) you cannot REVOKE the offer until then.  I told him this sarcastically because I was trying to be a jerk.

But he replied, “Oh man, oh, okay.  So like, we’re on the hook for like seven offers then?”

This guy had absolutely no clue what he was doing.

And I can give you one guess which firm he worked for…

–

Leave a spare key with a neighbour….or two.

Whenever I list a property for lease or for sale, and the clients are going away on vacation, I always get a second copy of they key.

I hate this part of the job, but I tell my clients, “There’s a non-zero chance that the key goes missing.  It happens.  Not that often, but given you’re going to be in Australia for the next ten days, I want to disaster plan accordingly.”

Telling clients that people in your industry are stupid and often walk away with keys, then don’t come and put them back, can hurt.

But losing access to a listing hurts more.

For my last two rental listings, the keys went missing.

And it’s not hard to figure out which agent walked off with the key, is it?

Bob Smith has a showing at 2:00pm on Saturday, and he calls you and says, “Hey David, I just opened the lockbox and there’s no key inside.”

Who showed the condo before Bob?

That person likely walked off with the key.

Call that person and ask them, “How did your showing go?”

Don’t ask them about the key; ask them how their showing was.

If that person gives you any feedback about the condo, then they were inside it.  You can follow up and ask, “Any chance you have a key in your pocket?” but nobody ever admits to it.

More often than not, after calling two or three agents who last showed the property, asking them if they happened to walk off with the key, and having them all answer “no,” the key magically returns.  Like I said: nobody ever admits it, but sometimes, the key gets put back.

I had a listing in Liberty Village for which the key and FOB went missing and were never returned.  We had to cancel about eight showings (those agents weren’t sympathetic at all – blowing up my phone with, “When are you getting another key???”), but we got a new key and FOB less than twenty-four hours later.

But then I had a notorious west-end listing last month for which the key went missing, was replaced, and then went missing again.

I know what you’re thinking, but this isn’t some homeless clairvoyant that’s taking the key out of the lockbox.  This is just how rental agents are.

–

“There must be a mix-up.”

Continuing the theme from the section above, sometimes an agent will take a key up to the unit and then call you and say, “It’s the wrong key.”

Another problem, unfortunately, is that many agents haven’t yet mastered how to open a door, but assuming that the key is, in fact, wrong, then what happened?

A little mix-up, that’s all!

Agent Becky is showing five condos in the same building, and Agent Becky takes five sets of keys out of five different lockboxes.

But Agent Becky has a system, you see!

Order the units from lowest to highest, and then put a different key in each pocket.

Left Pocket: Unit #209
Right Pocket: Unit #517
Right Back Pocket: Unit #1110
Left Back Pocket: Unit #1715

Crap.  Agent Becky ran out of pockets.

Ah, Purse!

Purse: Unit #2212

That plan is absolutely failproof, well, until there are keys in the wrong lockboxes.

I spoke to an “Agent Becky” type back in the summer who, after telling me, “Yeah, I totally could have mixed up the keys, I’m sorry,” went on to explain, “You don’t know what it’s like to show five or six condos at once.  It’s not easy.”

Somehow, that was my fault.

I told Agent Becky, “If you’ve taken five keys from five lockboxes, and mixed them up, don’t you think you should go back down to the condo and sort it out?”

Agent Becky said, “I live in Oakville.  I’m not heading back downtown until Thursday…”

In the end, I sorted out the keys with two other listing agents who had the wrong keys in their lockboxes, but the most disappointing part was that my key was labelled.  I don’t just put a key in a lockbox; I put a tag that has the unit number on the key.  So when Becky puts the key for Unit #1715 in the lockbox for Unit #1110, she has absolutely no excuse.

–

David Fleming: Personal Assistant

It’s Sunday morning at 10:30am.

If I were to tell you that I do not check my phone every five minutes, twenty-four hours per day, then I would be lying.

But honestly, what if I didn’t?

I look at my phone and see red, as in missed calls, and the following:

Agent Becky (2)

Uh-oh, Becky called twice.  There must be a fire!

But then I check my text messages and see the following:

Hi David, I booked a showing for your listing for 11:30pm tonight, which is obviously not when I want to show it, but I booked last night, and that was the soonest we could book, but I wanted to go at 12:00pm.  Can you check with the other agents showing and see if I can go?  And check with the tenants?

Are you kidding me?

There are so many things wrong with this, but here’s what happened…

All tenants have the right to twenty-four hours’ notice for viewings.  This agent went to book a viewing for Sunday at 12:00pm, but she didn’t book early enough.  She didn’t get to BrokerBay until Saturday night at 11:30pm, and thus she could not book for 12pm the next day.

Instead, she booked for 11:30pm on Sunday night, even though she had no intention of going at that time.

For some reason, she thought she would book, get a confirmation, and then……what?

Ah, right.  She wanted me to check with the other agents (who booked their viewings days in advance, because 12pm on a Sunday is a very popular time), and check with the existing tenant to see if they could all work within her schedule?

I won’t lie, folks: I ignored this text message.

It’s ridiculous and doesn’t deserve a response.

I checked my phone a half hour later:

Agent Becky (3)

Seriously.  She called me five times in total, and she sent me another text message: “Any update?”

Then, a half hour later, she sent this text:

?

I hate that text.

Only people under twenty-five send a question mark as a text.

It’s the 2025 version of, “You’re not getting back to me fast enough.”

I believe that 1% of you will suggest that I have a responsibility to Agent Becky, but please remember, the tenant has the right to twenty-four hours’ notice.  We use BrokerBay as our system because it blocks appointment requests that do not comply with the law and tenants’ rights.

One hour later, I received a text message from an agent who I do know, and he said:

“Hey David, there’s some agent here named Agent Becky, and she says we’re double-booked and she wants to come in the unit with my clients and I.  Should I let her in?”

Oh, I answered that one…

–

The more, the merrier!

Early in the summer, I listed a 1-bedroom, 1-bathroom condo for lease for $2,295 per month.

It was a 480 square foot unit, with a true bed “room” that had a door, window, and closet, but it was snug.

I received the typical “requests for pre-approval” and eventually a handful of offers, but one offer really stuck out to me.

The offer was verbal, however.  Nothing in writing…

An agent called me and said, “How would your clients like to get $4,000 per month for that rental listing?”

I figured this was one of those companies that leases your unit, then turns around and AirBnb’s it, but at $4,000, it made no sense.

I knew this wasn’t going anywhere, but always looking for blog fodder, I said, “I’m listening.”

He said:

“I have clients who are students and they’ve come from abroad where they are used to living in small quarters.  I have four students that will pay $1,000 per month, each, to live in that condo, so we’ll do a lease in one person’s name for $2,295 and then the students will each give six months of rent up front, so $24,000, and then after the first six months, they’ll pay with a cheque for $2,295 per month for the rent and then $1,705 in cash as well.”

Seriously.

But the best part about this, er, the worst, is that he added, “I’ll throw in half my commission to get the deal done, since the tenants are also paying me a finder’s fee, of sorts, to secure them this rental, and it’s way more than the commission.”

Really?

Elaborate on “of sorts.”

Actually, on second thought, don’t.  My skin is crawling and I feel dirty just thinking about that call…

–

Incentivize me!

Last, but certainly not least, this is a new one!

It’s 5:30pm on a Friday, which is basically the only time a story like this one takes place, and my landline rings.

That’s also a bad sign…

A young woman says, “I’m calling about the listing at 123 Fake Street, Unit #321,” and I say, “Sure, what can I tell you?”

Without any preamble or any questions prior, she asks me:

“Are you or the landlord currently offering any special tenant incentives?”

I paused for a moment, mulled it over, then figured this must have been a marketing call of some sort.

“Incentives? I asked.  “Like what?”

I figured that this was the part where she was going to tell me about some new iPhone app she was selling, or offer me a discount on a credit check service, but she simply repeated the question: “Special tenant incentives; are you offering any?”

I said, “You’ll have to forgive me, but I don’t know what that means.”

She said, “Like, incentives.  Like what landlords offer to secure tenants.”

What?

What do landlords offer to find tenants?

I said, “Can you give me an example?”

She replied, “You know, like two months’ free rent, a flat-screen TV, like, incentives.”

Folks, I’ve been in this business for over twenty-one years, and I have never heard anybody ask this before.

I followed up with, “Is this something that landlords do?”

She said, “Oh yeah, lots.”

I said, “Like who?”

She said, “Lots.  Tons.”

I asked, “Can you name one?”

She paused and said, “Well, there are lots.  I’ve spoken to a lot.  I just don’t have my notes here.  But I just wanted to know if your landlord, or if you, are offering any special incentives.”

I told her, “The property has been leased,” then I turned off my computer, went home, did yoga, and wondered what the next call to my landline would entail…

Tell me that this is a story about how bad the rental market is.

Tell me that this is a story about how bad the rental agent pool is.

Tell me that this is a story about the deterioration of common sense in society.

But don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy it! 🙂

It’s okay to laugh at others, so long as you don’t do it that often…