I was at an open house in North Toronto yesterday, and it got me thinking about the many different types of people that come to open houses.

I don’t mean man/woman, black/white, old/young.

I mean the classifications that I personally give them…

Yesterday was an absolutely gorgeous day, and I was stuck inside a house on Broadway Avenue doing an open house from 2:00 – 4:00PM.

The first people that came through the door I immediately labelled as a typical “Mother Daughter Duo,” and I began to wonder what other open-house-types I would get through the door.

I’m in real estate because it’s a people business, and I love meeting thirty new people every day.  But over time, you start to sense a pattern.  And in the case of open houses, I get the same types each and every weekend…

Active Buyers: These are the people that are meant to go to open houses; those actively looking to purchase a home.  Their levels of organization vary, but most of them carry MLS print-outs, file-folders, or feature sheets from previous houses they’ve viewed.  They ask questions like “When are offers being reviewed?”  Many of them carry their agents’ business cards.

Family Outing: Four people enter, and two are barely old enough to cross the street, let alone buy a house.  The twelve-year-old boy says, “Mom, this layout isn’t very functional at all,” and the four-year-old girl says, “Daddy these are the same floors as the last house.”  Any children who know this much about real estate are dragged to open houses every weekend by their parents.

Yup-Yup-Yuppies: Whoever said the age of the yuppie is dead?  They enter with coffee in hand (I’ll give you three guesses and the first two are Starbucks), wearing $90 jogging pants and their SUV’s are parked backwards on the wrong side of the street since they don’t care about anyone or anything.  They barely acknowledge my presence when they walk in, and they say nothing as they exit.  They snicker at everything in the house, and communicate with eachother by using facial expressions rather than words.  I hope I’m never this lame…

Buzz Word Experts: These people love to show off their knowledge of real estate.  “Has there been a pre-home inspection done?”  “Is there any knob-and-tube wiring?”  “Has this unit been staged?”  Clearly, their television sets are stuck on HGTV around the clock, and they go to open houses to apply their new knowledge.

Happy To Be Alive: These people smile as soon as they walk inside, and don’t stop until they leave.  Everything is AMAZING!  “Wow, these floors are GORGEOUS!”  “That basement is GREAT!”  “What a pretty backyard!”  Many buyers like the house, they just don’t really put it into words.  These people can’t stop gleaming, for whatever reason.  They want to talk and talk and talk about the house, neighborhood, or real estate in general.  It’s refreshing, but sometimes a time-waster.

The Disgruntled: In the song, Gettin’ Jiggy With It, Will Smith rapped: “No love for the haters, the haters, mad cause I got floor seats at the Lakers.”  I don’t know why people hate on me, my open house, or real estate in general.  But these people ask you questions you have no idea how to answer, like “How many of the neighbors are renting and how many own their houses?”  They pick fights with you about the smallest things, complain that the bedrooms are too small, or inform you that your choice of background music is “lame.”  They tell you AND your potential buyers the house is overpriced, and let you know that it wont sell.

Mother-Daughter Duo: There’s nothing wrong with having a hobby, but going through strangers’ houses?  Isn’t that creepy?  I can spot these people as soon as they walk in, and they ask things like “Do you know where they got those throw pillows?”  Or how about, “What’s this type of carpet called?”  They have no intention of buying, they’re just out for a Sunday stroll and trying to get decorating tips.

Collectors: Similar to the mother-daughter duo’s, these people also view open houses as a hobby, but they collect feature sheets.  It really bugs me when three people come in together, and all three take a feature sheet!  They take whatever papers are available: MLS listing, mortgage info, plan of survey, home inspection summary.  I once had a woman point to the bowl of limes on the table (a staging technique) and ask, “Can I take a lime?”  I can’t help but wonder: FOR WHAT?  I think of Seinfeld: “How come the tomato never made it as a hand-fruit?”

Quick In-And-Out: These people stand in the front doorway and say, “Hello, I’m not coming inside but do you have a feature sheet?”  It’s as if the floor is made of molten lava and they can’t step over the threshold.  They give excuses such as, “My son is in the car,” or “My husband is waiting outside.”  What is the point of going to an open house and not going inside?

Passer-Byers: I love standing in the living room and watching these people out the front window.  They are out for a walk, and stop in front of the house.  They hmmm and haww about going inside, like it’s a life or death decision, and after a couple of minutes of discussion, one of them will come inside while the other waits.  It’s no big deal—-an open house.  Come in!  Or, just pause, and keep walking…

Kids on My Baseball Team: I knew this would happen eventually.  I coach Bantam Boys Baseball, and a couple kids from last year’s team saw my signs and came in to my open house just to see what Coach looks like without his cut-off t-shirt and clipboard.  Will they ever grow up?

Well, there you have it.

These are the main classifications of people who visit me every Saturday and Sunday from 2PM – 4PM.

Don’t get me wrong—I’m not complaining or anything.  What could possibly be more unique than people?

You never know who you’re gonna meet in this business, and putting a sign out front of a house on a nice day pretty much guarantees you’re going to meet somebody new.

At the very least, it’ll give you a story to tell…