You see this in listings a lot – “Overlooking green space.”

If you were asked to define green space, what would you say?

Greenspace.  How many times do you see this word on an MLS listing?

Houses, condos – it doesn’t matter.  The mere presence of this word in an MLS listing will enhance the desirability of the property.

But what is greenspace?

Wikipedia says:

“Open space reserve, open space preserve, and open space reservation, are planning and conservation ethics terms used to describe areas of protected or conserved land or water on which development is indefinitely set aside. The term green space or greenspace is often used in the same manner.”

www.dictionary.com says:

“A plot of undeveloped land separating or surrounding areas of intensive residential or industrial use that is maintained for recreational enjoyment.”

Interesting!

So what is not the definition of “Greenspace?’

How about this, which I’m making up, based on what most Realtors consider greenspace from their MLS listings:

“Any green area, object, sight, location, locale, person, place, or food that is within the sight-line of a person standing in, on top of, around, or near a house or condo.”

Yeah, that sounds about right.

I’m constantly amazed by how many times “greenspace” is mentioned in MLS listings, when in fact, there is no true greenspace, by definition.

I think greenspace is really considered conservation land, but most people would be okay with adding park lands, or parks to that definition.

Realtors and property-sellers, of course, take things to a whole new level when they add basically ANYTHING green to the definition of greenspace, and make a mockery of MLS listings.

Here are a few of my favorites:

1) Parks.

If the view from your condo at Leslie & Eglinton is overlooking Serena Gundy Park, then you can advertise “Overlooking Greenspace” on your MLS listing.

But if your house on Rumsey Road faces Trace Manes Park, can you really say, “Overlooking Greenspace?”  Don’t you just mean “tennis courts, wading pool, and baseball diamond across the street?”

Or what about those tiny little “Parkettes” throughout the city that measure 2,000 square feet.  If you live three doors down, can you say, “Close to greenspace”?

I suppose…

2) Cemetaries.

Do you think I’m joking?

Oh sure – I started with a lay-up: parks.  Now we’re gonna get really crazy!

Think about all the condos on Merton Street that face south, and think about all the MLS listings that say, “Overlooking Greenspace.”

In fact, the impetus for this entire blog post was the marketing for a new condo development in the area which portrayed the cemetery as a conservation area in an artist’s rendering!  Imagine being an investor overseas, having no clue about neighbourhoods in Toronto, and then buying a pre-construction condo because it looks like your condo overlooks Central Park in New York?  It’s false advertising!

Is a cemetery “greenspace” by definition?  I don’t think so.  They’re not fooling anybody…

3) Golf Courses.

It’s green, and it sure is a wide-open space, but it’s hardly an undisturbed, recreational area!

A golf course is a true commercial enterprise.  I can’t think of another sport played by the ultra-rich, except maybe skiing.  Or polo, but seriously – who plays polo?

So you might say that a commercial venture like a golf course is the exact OPPOSITE of “protected land on which development is indefinitely set aside.”

I guess if you’re a buyer looking for any sort of grassy, treed, outdoorsy scenery, then a golf course fits the bill.

But writing “adjacent to acres of greenspace” in an MLS listing is somewhat misleading, especially if you don’t like getting Titleist Pro-V1’s smacked into your backyard twelve times a week.  Those are $6 balls, by the way, so before you go complaining – I’d start collecting them like Easter eggs and counting your blessings!

4) A Football Field.

Nope, not joking.

Realtors – back me up here: how many listings at 25 Broadway Avenue and 70 Roehampton Avenue advertised “fantastic view overlooking greenspace below”?

Does this look like any sort of “greenspace” to you?

Not to stereotype, but it was a lot of those 905-Highway-7-Markham Realtors that also had no photos on MLS, but I digress…

Tridel’s The Republic is a very successful condominium development, and very unique, considering that they partnered with TDSB to build a new school and a football field!  I can’t think of another condominium of its kind in Toronto, or any city, really.

But I also can’t think of a bigger misnomer than a football field being passed off as greenspace!

Sure, the field is green – I get it!

But it’s not a conservation area, or even a park.  There isn’t a single tree!

And those of you that watch college football and are familiar with Boise State will offer up the following image:

Yes, that’s right folks – a blue football field!  (It’s rumored to be banned in 2012, but we’ll see what happens there…)

So what if the football field at North Toronto Collegiate Institute was blue, like in Boise, Idaho?

Would the MLS listings say, “Overlooking bluespace below”?

5) Courtyards.

I’m sure the football field or the cemetery will push your buttons the most, but this is the one that really irks me.

Picture a tiny little courtyard in between two condos, or two buildings, with nothing but concrete and brick, and then a few trees and shrubs.

That’s a courtyard, maybe, maybe a “parkette.”

But it’s not “greenspace.”  Not even close.

You can’t call six trees and three bushes “greenspace.”  That’s like calling the concrete slab at Yonge & Dundas Square an “architectural masterpiece.”

There are a lot of courtyards that come to mind, but I recall seeing “greenspace” used in a listing for a unit at Mozo or Rezen where one of the units overlooked the tiny courtyard in between the buildings where people let their dogs go to the bathroom, and where I have yet to see a single person sit, or really occupy at all, without a pet.

If that is considered “greenspace,” then I should advertise the roof of my building as “plenty of parking.”  Yep, just park your magic-carpet, flying Delorian, rocket-bike, or Mary-Popins-umbrella out on that rooftop next time you come by to visit.  PLENTY OF PARKING, said the listing when I bought my place!

Oh, what will they think of next?