No, I’m not talking about my chest, although I am bench-pressing the weight I used to warm-up with when I was 19, so that’s encouraging.  Anyways…

I mean lofts – at what point does a “hard loft” become too hard, and uninhabitable?

The above photo is what many loft enthusiasts dream of!

That space is obviously a former warehouse or commercial property, and it’s ready to be divided into individual loft units.

Or, perhaps this could be turned into one giant 3,000 square foot hard loft!  I’m not sure, since I just pulled this photo off Google Images, but you get the idea.

This is what many loft-lovers want: exposed brick, timber beams, timber ceilings, large picture windows, and as a result – high, often 12-13 foot ceilings.

This is what is typically referred to as a “hard loft,” and it differs from a soft loft in one major way: a soft loft is built from the ground up, whereas a true “hard” loft is converted.  Many people think soft lofts are “fake” lofts, and in essence, they are.

The term “loft” gets thrown around far too much in Toronto.  I don’t consider a unit with 9-foot ceilings to be a “loft” when it was built from the ground up in 2011.  But it’s one of those buzz-words that get a person’s motor-running, so the word will continue to be misused for as long as lofts are still cool.

Many hard lofts have exposed ductwork, since you can’t really hide the vents, pipes, and other mechanical systems.  Converting a hard space into residential dwellings means there’s a trade off between removing much of the original character, and cleaning up the space to make it hospitable.

But when it comes to a true soft loft, sometimes, I can’t understand what the developer is thinking.

There are some soft lofts that are WAY too hard for my liking, which is ironic, considering that you actually build a soft loft from the ground up, and you have the luxury of moving mechanical systems around and/or hiding them, unlike with hard lofts.

I was in a building on Stewart Street over the weekend that made me want to vomit.  Not only because some party-kid had just vomited in the lobby earlier that morning upon coming home from an all-night rager, but also because the units were so poorly designed, and they had the most ridiculous hard loft “features.”

There was absolutely nothing attractive about this unit, and there were a lot of deal-breakers, in my opinion.  The crazy part is: this unit only had 9-foot ceilings!  All of the items I’m going to show you are things that would still look terrible in a unit with 13-foot ceilings, but they’d be less noticable, and the large, airy space would help the mechanicals to blend in.  But 9-feet?  Really?

Let’s start with something small, shall we?

Here we see two pipes on the wall next to the fridge, and I have to wonder, why are those pipes there?  This isn’t a feature; this is a drawback!

Unless you’re actively searching for the main water shut-off valve on a regular basis, I see no point to this:

How about this?  Is this attractive?

There is a mixture of heating/cooling, water, and natural gas piping and ducts in the photo below, which shows how ugly everything above eye-level is in this unit:

Does this feel like “home” to you?

It looks more like the boiler room of a decrepit apartment building.  What the heck is attractive about this?  How is this anything remotely close to a “sought after” style?

The following photo shows the ceiling at the top of the stairs, and a large metal sheet that is holding something into position.

What is it holding?

THIS!  That’s at the top of the stairs!

Every time you head downstairs, you have to stare at that hunka-junk, whatever it is!

“Good morning, honey!  Yes, I’d love some eggs….with extra piping….er, I mean cheese.  Sorry – I can’t think vent…I mean straight!”

And this is what you see at the bottom of the stairs: your hydro meter.

I understand lofts.

I understand hard lofts, and I understand soft lofts.

Both have their appeal, and both are typically easy sells in Toronto.

But once in a while, you see a building that was either poorly constructed, poorly designed, or both, and the result is something like the above.

I think a raw, urban space is very cool, and large exposed heating/cooling ducts can blend into the background when you have 13-foot ceilings, exposed brick walls, wood or metal beams, and polished concrete floors.

Almost any kind of piping can work if it’s in the right space.

But what you see above is just all wrong.

And I take it back; when I said let’s start with something “small” and pointed to the pipes next to the fridge, I think that’s the biggest offender!  Take another look:

This shows laziness, poor design, and a lack of planning.

There is ZERO reason why those two pipes should be on that wall, and not only does it look terrible, but it also takes away space for a spice rack, wine glasses, or a piece of art.

Hard and soft lofts are both “in” for good.  Those styles aren’t going away, and they will always be popular.

But this has to be a really tough sell.  And I have to wonder with respect to the current owners: what the hell drew them here in the first place?