Exactly how rich do you have to be to afford an $80,000,000 property?

I’m assuming you don’t put down $20,000,000, and finance the balance?

Let’s pick up where we left off on Thursday, and look at two of the most expensive pieces of real estate in North America, which both happen to be in New York City.

Then, and only then, will we feel like $350,000 for a 1-bedroom condo in King West is a downright “steal”…

Earlier in the week, a blog reader sent me THIS story from the Wall Street Journal, about a Manhattan penthouse that was purchased a little over one year ago for $50,900,000, but amazingly, is now back up for sale for $70,000,000.

Not a bad return, wouldn’t you say?

The condo is in the “Walker Tower” which was converted to condos in 2014, and measures 6,000 square feet, with five bedrooms, and six bathrooms:

That’s right: 6,000 square feet for $70,000,000.

For those of you playing along at home, that’s $11,667 per square foot.

As the WSJ article explains, the unit has never been occupied.

So somebody paid $50,900,000 for a condo they’d never live in.  That makes sense.

Although, if they get $70,000,000 for the place, representing a 40% return on investment in a little over one year, then who cares whether the place was occupied?

But believe it or not,  $70,000,000 is actually a relative discount compared to the most expensive piece of real estate being offered in Manhattan right now.

Would you believe that there’s a Fifth Avenue townhouse being offered for a whopping $80,000,000?

You simply can’t be in a better location than this:

And right across from the Metropolitan Museum of Art!

I mean, if you have $80,000,000 to drop on a townhouse, you’d better at least pretend that you know a thing or two about art.

This 8-bedroom, 15-bathroom house spans over 20,000 square feet, and was built in 1901.

There are no interior photos, but here’s how it looks from the outside, via many different ANGLES:

Here’s the description from Trulia:

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1009 5th Ave Built in 1901 and designed by the firm of Welch, Smith & Provot, the exceptionally grand and remarkably beautiful 1009 Fifth Avenue was constructed in the Beaux-Arts style and is rightfully regarded as an architectural tour de force.

The residence stands as a splendid example of the extraordinary workmanship of that era and is one of the very few remaining along the Gold Coast of Fifth Avenue. The limestone and red-brick facade extends 27 feet along Fifth Avenue and 100 feet facing 82nd Street. This optimum location is especially fortunate given the lovely assemblage of grand Beaux-Arts limestone houses, its proximity to the great cultural institutions of New York City and its sublime placement in the heart of the Upper East Side.

The lower floors are articulated limestone and boast an entrance that is charmingly capped with a wrought-iron marquee. The upper floors are clad in brick and are lavishly adorned with limestone elements and accented with curvilinear bays. The house rises eight stories high and measures approximately 20,000 sq.ft.

It’s unique corner orientation allows each and every room to enjoy a tree-lined street view and to receive abundant light. Throughout the house, the interiors feature soaring ceilings, hand-carved wood paneling, lovely trompe l’oeil accents, gold-leaf trimmed fixtures, and intricate plaster friezes. The absolutely stunning sweeping staircase ascends five stories and is punctuated by vast windowed landings while the wonderful and sun dappled corner rooms to the west are perfectly balanced by the slightly larger complement of rooms to the east.

The top floors also incorporate a dramatic skylight and are accessed by a separate staircase. This exceptional offering presents the rare opportunity to own one of New Yorks most significant properties and is ready to be modernized by your architect or designer.

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Wow.

What the HELL am I doing with my life?

How do I go home and feel normal after reading this?

I mean, I can’t believe I’ll never know what it’s like to take a **** in fifteen different bathrooms…

End of a short week, folks.  Didn’t that fly by?

Have a great weekend – and it looks like the weather will finally allow us to plant in our gardens……..so it can last for three months…. 🙁