Last month, Hasbro announced plans to release the world edition of Monopoly: Here and Now.

Instead of properties, the game will feature cities throughout the world that were chosen by Internet voting.

This got me thinking: If a game were designed just for Toronto condominiums, what would it look like?

My GOD, did I ever love to play Monopoly when I was a kid!

My brother always refused to play me, however.  He preferred to play “War” with a deck of cards, which for those of you who don’t know, War is a never-ending game of 100% pure luck.  There is no strategy involved whatsoever, and the game lasts as long as two people are willing to play it.

But Monopoly is perhaps the most famous board game of all time, and once in a blue moon it’s nice to throw a game together with a close group of friends.

I recall playing this game at the cottage last summer, whereby a friend of mine who is an accountant began to argue that the Luxury Tax he paid should be deducted from his net worth if he were to land on Income Tax later in the game.  As luck would have it, he didland on Income Tax, and all hell broke loose.  He then surmised that the money gained by landing on Free Parkingshould not be included in the calcualation of Income Tax since there are several ways to account for free goods and services.  Suffice it to say, we got very tired of his arguments…

Further controversy took place when I wanted to trade Short Line Railroad, Reading Railroad, and Electric Company all straight-up for Ventnor Avenue, which gave me a Monopoly on the yellow properties in the process.  My trading partner argued that he was coming out on top since he got three properties for the price of one, but the other players called him names and accused him of ruining the game.  Eventually, I got a Monopoly on the green properties as well, and you couldn’t get around the board without paying me rent.

It was a lot easier to play when we were kids…

It’s interesting to look at the original game of Monopoly and see properties listed for as low as $60, or as high as $400 (when that was actually considered “high”).  It got me thinking about what a game would look like if it were designed just for our humble little city of Toronto, and thus I’ve decided to design my very own game, just for me.

But since Toronto consists of both houses and condos, I didn’t think I could use both in my game.  And since every neighborhood has a top and bottom level of houses (think $450,000 to $2,400,000) in Leaside, for example, I’ve decided to use condos.

I’ve also decided to limit these condos to just the downtown core, for simplicity.  I considered that “Palace Pier” would make a great “Pennsylvania Avenue” or one of the green properties, but it’s in borderline Etobicoke so I’ll keep things close to home.

There are many arguments to be made both for and against my choices, but remember that this is just for fun…

…..as is the game of Monopoly….right?

Baltic Avenue: 219 Fort York Blvd.
Mediterranean Avenue: 81 Navy Wharf Cres.
These two properties are the the worst pieces to own in the game, and the easiest to obtain.  Likewise, when you log on to MLS and search for condos for sale or for lease, you can always count on finding a good dozen of each in these two crummy condominiums.  The locations are terrible, and it’s a terrible investment.  Don’t you usually crack a smile when your friend puts hotels & houses on Baltic & Mediterranean?  It’s like, “What’s the point?”  And when actually land on them, you laugh of the “whopping” $450 you have to pay with one hotel.  If the Toronto real estate market ever takes a nose-dive, I can’t imagine what it will be like for all the owners of condos that clutter the Gardiner Expressway.

Connecticut Avenue: 25 The Esplanade
Vermont Avenue: 109 Front Street, “New Times Square”
Oriental Avenue: 35 Church Street, “Market Square”
The light-blue properties are a small step-up from Baltic & Mediterranean, but are still a ways from the top.  They’re still in the first block of the gameboard in between “GO” and “Just Visiting,” and most players don’t mind paying the fee for rent or hotels since they’ve just passed GO and received $200.  These three condos in Toronto are all in a great area down by the St. Lawrence Market, but are all older buildings that haven’t been sexed-up in some time.  Both 109 Front and 35 Church are less than stellar, while 25 The Esplanade is a step up but still not a prime location, unless you like overlooking the “Go Train” tracks while dealing with over-zealous security guards.  Just as Connecticut Avenue costs $20 more than its baby-blue counterparts, I’d give 25 The Esplanade a slightly higher grade since the building is newer and in better condition.

Virginia Avenue: 1029 King Street, “Electra Lofts”
States Avenue: 1 Shaw Street, “DNA”
St. Charles Place: 700 King Street, “The Summit”
As we move around to the second leg of the Monopoly game board, we get into some very serviceable properties.  Prices increase, as does status associated with owning the purple group.  In the West end of downtown, we have three buildings clustered around King Street in between Bathurst and Strachan.  All three are very popular, but will never be high-end condos since they have their drawbacks.  While 700 King Street is a bit older and has high maintenance fees, it is located in the busy, vibrant section of King Street at Bathurst near restaurants such as Blowfish and The Bank Note.  Both DNA and Electra Lofts, on the other hand, are newer and nicer buildings but are in a somewhat desolate part of King Street West with very few restaurants and retail outlets.  They are close to Liberty Village however, but you’ve got to cross the train tracks to get there.  Sorry, I can’t think of a Short Line Railroad parallel…

Well, this looks more and more like it’s become a two-part post.

Check back on Friday for the conclusion.

In the meantime, think about which condominiums in the city you’d use for Park Place and Boardwalk if this was your game…