Mayhem.

It’s a great word, it really is.

Better than its synonyms, I do believe.

Pandemonium is a little too crazy for my liking.  I picture people getting trampled as they try to escape from a mall or something.

Havoc is far too associated with the word “wreak,” and I’m just not ready to be that tied down.

Bedlam is seldom-used, and I feel like unless you’re a 72-year-old British chap, you can’t use that word without it seeming forced or pre-planned.

Hullabaloo also sounds contrived, and I feel like only ‘that girl’ who’s always saying “cool beans” could pull this off.

Then, there’s chaos.

Ah, yes! Sweet, sweet chaos!

Wheres the word “mayhem” could almost make it as a sports team name – think the Michigan Mayhem and what their jersey and logo would look like, chaos just takes things to the next level.

And when describing our real estate in the most fanatical terms, it always sort of seems to come down to “chaos” or “mayhem.”

Think back to February of 2020 and just how crazy the market, specifically downtown condos, was and were at that time.

March 9th, 2020, I wrote this blog: “February TREB Stats: Chaos Is A Ladder”

The market did feel, by definition, chaotic.

in a state of complete confusion and disorder

Confusing?  Yes.

Disorder?  Probably.

I think “chaos” was a fair assessment of January through early-March of 2020.

So how is 2021 any different thus far?

In early-2020, the market was on fire across all segments.  Houses and condos.

In early-2021, condos are making a huge comeback, which most people didn’t see coming, but we’re also dealing with a dearth of inventory that feels worse than 2020 (we’ll see if the stats back that up…) and all the while, trying to navigate this market in a pandemic and a lockdown.

So, how can I possibly convey just how much mayhem, bedlam, chaos, and ballyhoo have played a role in my interactions thus far in 2021?

With the following stories…

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F*%$ Pricing!

Part of our job as real estate agents is to accurately price houses and condos, is it not?

Okay, now what if you, in your line of work, were able to get away with not doing, or not even knowing how, to do a large part of your job?  Think about being a baseball player and being expected to hit a fastball, curveball, change-up, or slider, up the middle for a base-hit.  What if you were able to step into the batter’s box and only face 94 mile-per-hour fastballs, and that’s it?

We all know that houses, for the last twenty years, have been priced artificially-low to solicit multiple offers.  But any shame associated with pricing “too low” is long, long gone.  As a result, I feel like many agents have completely given up at pricing houses and have simply resorted to randomness as a strategy.

What’s this house worth?  A million bucks?  Maybe more?  Could it get $1,100,000?  Any chance it only gets $950,000?

Ah, screw it!  I’m going to price this at $699,900 and set an offer date.  We’ll see what happens.

As a result, hundreds of people, buyers and buyer-agents, waste their time going to see the property.  And don’t get me wrong, I have zero sympathies for agents who waste their time, and that of their clients, because they don’t know market value.  Case in point: a west-end listing, currently available for $1,179,900, which was listed in 2020 for $1,600,000.  The agent told me last night that he has buyer-agents calling and saying, “Do you think your sellers would take $1,300,000 on offer night?”  Buddy, what do you think?

This debate usually sees equality on both sides of the aisle; some feel, like I do, that it’s the buyer agents’ responsibility to gain experience and knowledge sufficient to allow them to price houses, whereas others feel that listing agents shouldn’t price so low.

In the end, the lower your price, the more offers you get.  While most offers are utter garbage, they still show up.  Speaking of which…

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Define the word “lots”

In 1989, upon returning to school in January after winter break a friend of mine told that he received “lots” of Christmas presents.

He regaled me with tales of all six of the presents that were bestowed upon him by the Santaparents, and all the while, I wondered if I should tell him about the twenty-something gifts that I found under my tree with my name on them.

Define “lots,” really.

So what do you think is a “lot” of offers on a house or condo?

Of course, it depends on the property.  It depends on the price point.  It depends on the type of market too.

But in January, I’ve seen things that I’ve simply never experienced before.

5118 Angel Stone Drive in Mississauga, listed at $789,000, received 71 offers.

133 Cadorna Avenue at Don Mills & O’Connor, listed at $899,000, received 39 offers.

265 Silver Birch Avenue in the Beaches, listed at $897,000, received 31 offers.

And at the higher price point, what in the world do you make of 187 Wychwood Avenue, listed at $1,750,000, receiving 21 bids?

These are merely a few examples, some that I experienced, and some that were noted in our group chat at Bosley.  But there are countless other properties in January that received, 20, 30, or 40 offers.  Or more.

We’ve almost accepted this as the new normal, just as we are used to wearing masks when we’re out and about.  It’s simply become life.

I’m not scared of competing against twenty-five other offers, because I know that most of them, as noted above, are total garbage.

But when the general public sees the headlines: “FORTY-SIX OFFERS ON MIMICO BUNGALOW” in a major newspaper, it only tells part of the story.  Yes, the market is red-hot, no doubt about it.  But these forty-six bids were not all equal.

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“I’m free in June, why don’t you call me then?”

That’s what I was told in response, the first time I ever asked a girl out.

It was May, by the way.  After spending fifteen minutes working up the courage to dial her 7-digit number on my home-phone, which would connect to her family’s home phone, she picked up, and we chatted for a bit.  She told me how busy she was, and then said, “I’ll have some time in June, why don’t you call me then?”

The worst part about this?

I called her in June…

Pandemic protocols have essentially eliminated any “double-bookings” on properties listed for sale, and this is a good thing, for all our health and safety.  Remember back to those glorious pre-pandemic days when you’d book your viewing for 6:00pm on Wednesday night, only to arrive and find five other groups of buyers and their agents, all walking through the house at the same time.

The pandemic effectively ended double-bookings.

The result?  It’s often impossible to get a viewing on a hot property.

Your client says she wants to see that 2-bed, 2-bath semi-detached, priced at $799,900, only EVERY SINGLE time-slot is booked today, and tomorrow.  The first time you can get in is on Sunday at 10:30am, and if you don’t book it now, that slot might get filled too.

Try calling the listing agent directly, or the listing brokerage, and you get the same thing: “There’s an opening next week, why don’t you see it then?”

This is causing chaos in the market.  It’s mayhem.  It’s causing buyers to register offers on properties they haven’t even seen, just to avoid being left out.  It’s causing some buyers to actually make offers conditional upon a viewing.  Other buyers are asking their agents to show them the house at 11:00pm, provided the owners don’t live in the house.  And you know what?  If the owners have moved out for ten days while the property is up for sale, there’s nothing wrong with going at midnight if it gets you through the door!

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“We will protect this house!”

Great slogan by Under Armor, but not so great when a competing buyer agent refuses you access to a property…

Last Sunday, I was “lucky” enough to snag the 10:15am to 10:30am window for a property that was booked solid all day.  I’m not kidding, folks.  You can see the available time slots online when you book through BrokerBay, which most reputable brokerages are using these days.  And when the entire calendar is RED, save for that one glorious window, you click it like a reflex!  Then ask your clients if the time works for them…

I arrived at the property at 10:00am sharp, knowing that we had exactly fifteen minutes from 10:15am to 10:30am, I wanted to ensure I was punctual.

My clients arrived shortly thereafter, and we chatted outside in the cold.

There was an agent inside the house who kept popping his head out the door, looking around, up the street, and down the block.  I knew what was happening, but I didn’t think what happened next would actually happen…

At 10:15am on the dot, I knocked on the door of the house (since there was no key in the lockbox, and an agent inside…) and I waited.  I waited about sixty seconds or so, then I knocked again.

The agent, who I knew was inside, opened the door just a touch.

“Hello?” he asked, as though it was a question – as though he didn’t know why I was there.

“Hi, I’m David Fleming with Bosley,” I told him.  “We’re here for our 10:15am appointment!”

Amazingly, he said, “My clients aren’t here yet.  I’m waiting for my clients.”

I believe that you catch more flies with honey, so instead of immediately sounding off, I slow-played this.

“Ah, I see,” I told him.  “Well, that’s unusual, you see, I have a 10:15am to 10:30am booking,” I said.  “What time is your appointment?”

“It’s 9:45am,” he said.  “But my clients are late.”

It was like talking to a child whom you would never be able to convince that cake for dinner is not a normal request.

“It’s now 10:15am,” I told him.  “And your half-hour window is gone.  I’m here with my clients,” I said, “So why don’t we switch?”

That seemed like a reasonable request, right?

With the door now open maybe ten inches, from behind his mask and his sunglasses he said, “If I leave this house now, knowing that appointments are booked all day, I’ll never get back in,” he said.  “So I have to wait for my clients to get here.”

I tried one more time: “But your clients are late, your window is now closed, and I’m here with my clients during our window,” I said.

He just stood there.  Staring.  No words came out of his mouth.  Some dumb, asinine agent.  Clueless.  Clients likely as stupid.  All of them entitled.  Not ready to accept responsibility for their own actions.

A moment passed.

“Get out of the fuckin’ house, pal,” I told him.

I tried it the nice way, I did.  I tried.

He came outside and left the key on the ledge.

I went inside with my clients and he was still standing outside when we came back out eleven minutes later, but this time he was standing next to another buyer agent and her clients.  His clients were still nowhere to be found…

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“Fair” is merely a state of mind

I submitted an offer last week on behalf of a buyer and I just knew it was going to end badly.

This wasn’t because there were twenty-two offers, but rather because I didn’t trust the agent listing the property.

Think “billboard” and “radio ads” if you want to.

Bottom line, I just knew we would but heads.

After a week of getting zero answers to questions for a property that definitely necessitated questions, we went to offer night and threw in our bid.

I was quite pleased with the turn-around, I will say.  Offers due at 7:00pm and by 8:15pm, I heard from the agent.

Our offer was unconditional, we had a deposit, and I would have assumed we were near the top.

The agent spared me of pleasantries and merely barked into the phone, “Yah, we’re sending everybody back.”

Everybody?  Huh?  Twenty-two offers?

Annoying.  Disrespectful.  A waste of time.  But not uncommon.

“Great,” I feigned, “How does mine look?”

“We’re sending everybody back,” he said, after a pause.

“I hear you, I get that,” I told him.  “But you’re sending back twenty-two bidders and surely there’s a massive spread between the top offer and the bottom offer.  I mean, I’m $200,000 over the list price, can you tell me where I’m at?  Am I in the top two?  Top five?  Give me any indication here?”

A pause.

And then, “Yah, we’re sending everybody back,” he said.  And he hung up.

For the record, he doesn’t have to tell me anything.  He can send back all twenty-two, or just work with the top three.  He can tell the top five that they’re in the top five.  He can tell the top offer, “You have the top offer.”  Every agent plays this differently, but all processes have a trait or two in common.

Almost every agent I’ve ever worked with has said, “There are twenty-two offers, we’re working with

In this case, he simply sent ALL the buyers back and gave nobody any indication whatsoever of where their offer stood.

My client said, “I feel dirty,” and she walked away.

That was that.

I don’t get emotional in this business, and I don’t get angry.  But at the same time, I don’t blame her.

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Less is more.  Way, way more…

Maybe I saved the most important story for last, you let me know.

My colleague had a slew of offers on her listing, as is the case out there today, and in the end, was “working with” the top three.

All three offers were for prices that defied logic.  No question about it.

Pretend that a house is “worth” $1,400,000 because that’s what the recent comparables in December would say.  But then assume that we’re in a hot market, so you’d have to say it’s “worth” $1,450,000.  But with the amount of offers on the property, you’d have to be at $1,500,000 to get it.

Then say that three buyers are willing to pay upwards of $1,600,000 for it.

Now what?

All gravy?

Not exactly…

What if the property doesn’t appraise?  What if the buyer can’t make up the difference?

This is a serious issue!  Especially if this property is “worth” $1,400,000.

So my colleague asked the first agent, with an offer of, let’s say, $1,585,000, “How much is your client’s down payment?”  That agent said that the buyers were putting down 50%.

My colleague asked the next two agents, representing offers of $1,597,000 and $1,600,000, the same question.

Both agents said that their buyers were pre-approved for $1,600,000 with a 20% down payment.

So my colleague told her clients to accept the $1,585,000 offer, and they did.

The other two agents were furious!

They had offered the most money for the property!  How could she do this to them!

She tried to explain that if the property didn’t appraise for $1,597,000, or $1,600,000, respectively, that the buyer would have to make up the difference.  And with a 20% down payment, they clearly didn’t have the funds to do so, and the deal could fall through.

She didn’t want to take that chance, nor did the seller.

We saw problems with appraisals quite a bit in 2017 and 2018, so could we see this happen again in 2021?

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That’s it for me this week, folks!

We’re one month in, and already I feel like I need a vacation.

P.E.I. this summer? 🙂