MLS Musings Movie Theatre Edition

MLS Musings: Movie Theatre Edition

MLS Musings!

4 minute read

July 16, 2021

Well, gawrsh, guys!

I’m the smitten kitten here, overwhelmed by all the genuine concern for my well-being as per the comments in Wednesday’s blog post.

Alas, I am indeed alive and well.  Safe here in…………….1955.

Wait, that’s a Back to the Future reference.

Safe here in Thornbury, Ontario.

While this was intended to be a vacation, if I’m being honest, I really just moved my office up north for a week.  I had an offer day on Monday for a downtown condo, which produced six offers.  Tell me that says “I’m on vacation.”

On another note, what kind of woman marries a real estate agent and puts up with his shit?  Seriously.  But I digress…

I couldn’t help but chuckle at the comments on Wednesday’s blog.

“Maybe he’s in Idaho,” said one reader.

“Don’t joke, he never misses a blog post,” says another.

This cottage apparently has high-speed wifi, but man-oh-man, do I have a different definition of “high speed.”  Like, compared to 1996?  When you and your buddies crowded around a computer screen in anticipation as you waited for a nudie-pic to download, only to have the screen freeze right when it was getting somewhere good…

I spent half of the day on Tuesday just trying to send emails.  Receiving, okay.  Sending?  Not so much.  That felt like 2002.

The thought of having to upload a 1.25 Gigabyte file to Google Drive for this week’s Pick5 was a non-starter.

Anyways, a week goes by quickly, and I promised my children (one who understands, one who doesn’t) that I’ll try to be more present next time.

In any event, I received a couple of emails from readers about thematic “MLS Musing” posts and so I thought I’d continue that where possible for the foreseeable future, although I have a lot of ridiculous captions, typos, and non-themed photos saved up, so we’ll come back to that in a bit.

Today, I wanted to share some movie theatres in Toronto houses that are for sale, or were for sale a short time ago.

As with anything you’ll see on MLS, some of these are showstoppers, some are lackluster, and some are just plain laughable…



Up first: a “home theatre” that would be suitable for, like, a decade ago?

The projector screen is okay, but any cinephile will tell you that pot lights directly overtop is not a good idea.

And the No Money Miracle leather-ruffled couches?

Doesn’t really scream “luxury home” to me…

This looks less like a movie theatre and more like a swanky lounge that I would have frequented circa 2005 when we stopped going to “clubs” and looked for a place where you could swipe left, swipe left, swipe left, swipe right, then witty one-liners, then meeting for sex?

Okay, back on topic.

This movie theatre/lounge…

Ummm, I guess?

It has a screen, albeit one that’s not rolled down, because that would have been too much trouble, let alone staging the damn place.

The carpet definitely feels like a Cineplex Odeon, circa 2004…

Of course, that’s not the worst presentation of a home theatre in an MLS-listed “luxury home.”

This is:

This one isn’t much better, and don’t worry – I’m just warming you up, I promise!

Like the ones above, this really just seems to be a room with a projector.

But at least they painted this entire room purple, including the ceiling…

….for some odd reason…

This is a movie theatre, I’ll give it that.

But it looks like one from the 1950’s…

Okay, now we’re getting somewhere!

This feels like a theatre!

Oh hell yes to this one too!

The coffered ceilings!  This is somebody’s basement?  Yaaaas guy!

There’s even a popcorn machine!

The screen is a bit small for my liking.  Just being honest!

This one makes me wonder, “Who’s decided to curl up in that fluffy blanket and watch from the floor?”

This is really cool.

But it looks lonely.

Maybe it’s for social distancing?

Is it just me, or does it feel like the couch is really far away from the screen?

Also, why are there two workout benches?

Maybe the usher or projectionist wants to work in a quick pump session during the opening credits?

Okay, now we’re getting into some really big theatre!

This one easily suits a dozen of your friends.

Imagine having this in your house?  Seriously?

Those lights under the chairs remind me of the original Fast & Furious.

Perhaps that’s what’s screening in this place?

You gotta give these guys an “A” for decorating.

Marilyn Monroe, Audrey Hepburn, and…….two suits of armour?

I love this one.

Cozy as hell!

I want the one in the front, on the right, so I can hold my drink with my right hand and periodically place it back on the table…

Speaking of cozy, if you run out of seating, I suppose you could nuzzle up in the shag carpet?

I like this one a lot.

Clean, classy, compact.

Oh – and popcorn!

Love the stadium seating here, but tears come to my eyes when I realize this in somebody’s basement.  Who has 14-foot ceilings in their basement?

I recognize this one, so I might have included it in the “MLS Musings: Artwork Edition,” but I love the artwork here so I’m showing it off again:

Last, but certainly not least, this is a home theatre!  Like, seriously – it’s actually a theatre!

It has true stadium seating, the projector looks like something from SilverCity, the neon lights remind me of Canada Square, and it gets my A+++ award, no doubt:

Man, when are we going to get to the movie theatre again?


Enjoy the weekend, everybody!

Written By David Fleming

David Fleming is the author of Toronto Realty Blog, founded in 2007. He combined his passion for writing and real estate to create a space for honest information and two-way communication in a complex and dynamic market. David is a licensed Broker and the Broker of Record for Bosley – Toronto Realty Group

Find Out More About David Read More Posts

Post a Comment

Your email address will not be published.


  1. Pingback: Best Real Estate Agent In GTA – MLS Musings: Movie Theatre Edition – Toronto Realty Blog
  2. David

    at 7:46 am

    I got an email for Cineplex Yorkdale and they are open for showings today! Included was a list of features that they are showcasing (excuse the pun) to assure customers that it is a safe place to visit

    1. Gum will be cleaned off the bottoms of arm rests
    2. Snack bar workers will wash their hands after using the washroom
    3. Bathrooms will be cleaned at least ONCE during the afternoon, and once in the evening, including the area around urinals
    4. Arcade will have santizer for you to use (no mention about those sit down racing games)

    Seriously, I can’t imagine when I will feel safe to go to the movies. Every part of the experience is a COVID nightmare. Will you take off your mask to eat popcorn? How about when some other moviegoer starts coughing in the middle of the movie? Standing in line to go in, no chance of social distancing.

    1. Steve

      at 7:22 pm

      Hard to tell but I think one of the workout benches is actually a rowing machine?

  3. Appraiser

    at 8:28 am

    CMHC Latest Report:

    “Mortgage arrears continued to drop in Q4 2020. Most homeowners reached the end of their deferral period and were able to pay their mortgages on time. Also bringing down arrears, were more non-scheduled payments.”

  4. Kramer

    at 10:04 am

    Photo #3 looks exactly … EXACTLY… like a hotel conference/break-out room. So much that it bothers me… I feel like I have been in that room 100 times. I hate that this is in someone’s home, unless they really want to run Sales Training sessions out of their basement!

    1. JL

      at 2:24 pm

      Yes! Totally agree.

    2. jefr316

      at 9:57 am

      Was going to post that myself!

  5. EastYorker

    at 10:24 am

    You should do one for garages !

    1. Kyle

      at 11:40 am

      Agreed that would be cool to see. If you have Housesigma check out the Garage on 1919 Forest Valley Dr in Innisfil.

      Home gyms, would also be a good one. Like, not just a Peloton in the bedroom, i mean like the one at 26 Ravensbourne Cres

  6. Chroscklh

    at 7:21 pm

    To The Dave,

    It is I, Chroscklh. I used to frequent Toronto Realty Blog many time when I live Toronto. I now mostly travel between London and Moscow. I keep home in Toronto cuz Canada respect rule of law -if/when I need flee, I go back Toronto!

    I is laughing because home in Toronto have movie theatre that I think the Dave would laugh at. It is as corny as these one. My decorator almost had me choose stupid movie theatre seat for authentic. I say to her “Why put uncomfortable shit in my house?” I go with big reclining loungers. You want hear joke? I always sit in front cuz my house. I have stadium seat but Chroscklh is very tall so people who sit behind can’t see screen. When complain, I say to them “This authentic movie experience – for free!” (if they complain again, I point to AK47 on the wall).

    Anyway, Chroscklh hope you and family is well and enjoying summer. I currently on boat in Thames – life is good! Pandemic lockdown not good – I have dacha (cabin) in country where I go but bear break in and live there and Russian law say something like ‘squater right’ but only with respect to bear so I have to share dacha until Bear get sick of my music and throw itself in sea.

    1. Appraiser

      at 10:56 am

      Welcome Back @Chroscklh !

      Are we witness to the return of the prodigal bear ?

      1. Chroscklh

        at 12:02 pm

        Hello! Yes, I is try to be back sometimes. I learn so much from this blog. Though I live across the puddle now, I keep house so I should stay up to speeding.

        You ask good question. Your government is stubborn and no recognize ‘emotional support bear.’ I afraid that if I return Toronto, I will be bear-less. There are Iranians who say can get bear for me in City – but once you owe them favour, is no worth it.


    2. Moonbeam!

      at 6:59 pm

      Yes! You’re back! ????

  7. Pingback: MLS Musings: Movie Theatre Edition - NBC

Pick5 is a weekly series comparing and analyzing five residential properties based on price, style, location, and neighbourhood.

Search Posts