You wouldn’t believe the stuff that some people write on MLS.

Or would you?  Have a look…

This could be a regular feature on Toronto Realty Blog.

In fact, it should be!

I see so many ridiculous things on MLS listings, from spelling and grammer, to inaccuracies, to shady dealings, and to downright lies.

Here’s a few I came across last week…

First, we have one that is funny for two reasons:

1) We all make spelling mistakes from time to time, but how is this possible?  They spelled “guess” incorrectly, which seems to be a pretty easy word to spell, in my opinion, and for a listing that’s been active for two weeks, why did nobody fix this?  The listing agent must stare at this listing every day, and yet Buess remains.

2) I did a feature on square footage source a while back, and I wish this one was included!  This spot normally says “Floor Plan” or “Builder,” but these guys just shrugged their shoulders and said, “Meh, we don’t know.  This is our best guess.”  That’s one of a kind!

This one made me laugh over and over…

It’s not that “gratefully” is spelled “greatfully.”

And it’s not the “bully offers welcome” part either.  No, I’ve touched on that many times.

It’s the fact that they misspelled “accepted” as “excepted,” and at a quick glance, it looks like “expected.”

In actual fact, it was a colleague who showed this to me (he didn’t have his glasses, and thought it said “expected”) and we laughed, trying to imagine a super-arrogant, confident seller and listing agent who say “Offers EXPECTED” on this date.

Imagine the seller: “We EXPECT offers, dammit!  Our house is amazing!  We’re so certain, in fact, that we’re going to tell everybody we EXPECT offers right on the damn listing!”

This one pissed me off.

This is blatant false advertising, and it’s unethical.

This condo was listed as a 1-bedroom unit with parking and locker, but look what they wrote in the notes: “Parking Including Dual Bike Rack Extra $30K.”

So they have this unit listed at $399,000, with parking and locker, but if you want the parking, then you have to pay $429,000.

Imagine going to the grocery store to buy a salad with a label that says, $5.99, but when you get up to the cashier, she says, “The tomatoes inside that salad are actually $2.00, so it’s going to cost you $7.99 for the whole thing.”

Okay, back to something happy and funny!

This listing had a “hold back” on offers, but they tried to encourage bully offers, like the first MLS Musing we saw above.

“Sellers May Accept An Irresistable Offer Before That,” the listing says.

I find this funny because this house was listed seven times at various prices, and then reduced to something below what they’d actually accept, and they write “….irresistable offer” as if there are ANY active buyers for the property, let alone one willing to bully an offer date that has no purpose being set.

The house is still unsold…

And last, but not least, take a look at the MLS caption here, and try to make sense of some of these words.

“Evening tipples“?

“Toodle to cafes”?

“Nip to the groceries?”

Are you kidding me?

We know that “toodle” is word, albeit one that no human being actually uses, but what about the other two?

Believe it or not, “tipple” is actually a word meaning “drink,” but who would have known this?  Who talks like this?  Is this listing marketed to the 0.01% of Torontonians who arrived by way of Great Britian in the 1960’s?

“Nip” does not mean “go” or “walk” or anything of the sort that could be used in place of an action verb.  So “Nip to the groceries,” which wouldn’t make sense even if it said “Walk to the groceries,” makes no sense as is.

.

Email me if you see anything on MLS that simply must be included on this list!  I’ll save up the next handful I see and post in a follow-up down the road!