One for the ages, folks.  Trust me on this.

Some of the “all-time greatest” MLS Musings stand out in my mind as I type this.

Meow, Meow, anyone?

Yes?  No?  How long have you been reading Toronto Realty Blog, and how is your memory?

Let me take a quick look for it…

….ah here:

Meow Meow?

I still don’t get it.  And it’s been a decade since this hit MLS.

I actually just got a little lost in my musings-rabbit-hole, and there are some doozies.

But this week, I found one that has to be in the Top-3.

That’s some prestigious company, for what it’s worth.  It’s not an easy feat, but try as one agent/seller/listing did, they were able to pull it off.

Unlike most Friday “MLS Musings,” this edition is for one property.  One property, because the entire concept of how this property was listed, is just insane.

So let’s start with the listing itself as it appears on my MLS:

If you’re a long-time reader of TRB, and you know “MLS Musings” inside and out, you know that one of my pet peeves is when the “feature photo” is crap.

See that “1 of 20” in the bottom left corner of the photo?  That means this is the first photo displayed, and thus the feature photo on every site that shares listings.

I almost always use a photo of the exterior of the building, which might be boring, but at least it looks professional, and the viewer thinks “real estate.”  They think “230 King Street,” ya know, if it’s a photo of 230 King Street!

So when the “feature photo” is of a plant, or a faucet, or some other inanimate object, or of an ugly, messy bed in the den, I wonder, “Why didn’t they just go with the front of the building?”

But take a closer look at the photo above, because that’s the theme today.

What is that?

It looks like a fish on a wall.  And a chair in front of the wall.

Is it a projector?

Yes.  Yes it is.

Why don’t we take a look at the description for the listing?

Here:

Okay.  Wow.  Where do we start.

“Can Be A/Home Office (Like Work In Space Or Under Water)”

Ummmmm…….what?

What the hell does this mean?

I used to lament the use of “Den Can Be Home Office” because I hate when agents point out the obvious, like “Stove Can Be Used To Cook Food.”

But what the heck is this about working in space?

Folks, get ready.

Here’s the entire photo array for the listing, and make sure you read the descriptions:

I’m not sure which description is my favourite.

“Like home office under water.”

“Deep space feel.”

“Like home office in space.”

None of it makes any sense at all.

I mean, in terms of how to market a condo, this makes no sense.

In terms of how this person lives their life, I don’t get it.

But above all: WHY WOULD SOMEBODY WANT TO WORK IN DEEP SPACE OR UNDER WATER?!@?!?!

How is this a selling feature?

Why is this marketing?

Egad.

Here’s each photo in higher resolution, just in case you missed anything:

So first and foremost, there are twenty photos, so good on this agent for actually using 20/20 that are provided for.

But the first five photos are all of a projector screen, in a den, with a fish on the wall, with the lights off, rendering the photos blurry.

What the hell is going on here?

Then we get a “before and after” split/screen of the condo, and the building it’s situated on top of, and somebody wrote “5th Floor” in red.

Then a photo of a floor plan, that’s 35 KB, and unreadable.

Then a series of awkard-angled photos of the ugliest kitchen I’ve ever seen, a few empty rooms, and that cool “deep space underwater home office” without the projector screen, which apparently is the biggest selling feature here.

And they finish with a shot of the “great view” of the park, which is taken with a camera pointed to the side (ie. the unit stares directly at another building), catching a small glimpse of one small corner of the park.

This is just bizarre.

And all I can wonder is, “Who’s idea was this?”  Did the seller tell the agent to market the unit “under water?”  Or did the agent think that most Torontonians are looking for a home office that’s either like working in space, or at sea?

Or maybe I’m just out of touch.

If any of you have ever set up shop on Mars, and been as productive as you were at your office on Bay Street, let me know…