What do you prefer in MLS Musings; is it the photos we see in listings, or the ridiculous write-ups?

I try to find a balance between the two, but it’s so much easier to find photos.

The listings are amusing, however.  So let’s start off today with a handful.

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I was once told that pointing out spelling mistakes was an easy target.

But how can you not laugh at this:

My clients were disappointed when we were not greeted at the door by this:

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Another typo, but come on – just imagine checkin out ‘dat ass!

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This agent here isn’t even trying, wow…

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I found this to be rather amusing…

What’s the average maintenance fee per square foot in a downtown Toronto condo?

Maybe $0.70/sqft?

Here’s a listing that shows fees of almost $1.00/sqft, which would put this in the “very, very high” category.

And yet look at the underlined note at the bottom:

Just for fun, I went back and looked at the history of the listing.

Guess what the listing from 1998 showed?

Low fees, with the same not about low fees:

You see, $131.00 per month on 500 square feet actually is low.

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This one really pissed me off.

There’s parking, but there isn’t parking…

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But what bothers me even more is this next one.

Here’s an agent holding back offers on a property listed at $800,000.

So with an offer date, we kind of, sort of know that they’re not really looking for $800,000.  They’re looking for more.

But then they go and put this ridiculous note in the brokerage remarks:

Okay, so what was the property listed at before?

Have a look:

I have never seen anything like this before.

I often lament that I hate the “strategy” of under-listing a property, with an offer date, after you have already listed it higher.  I mean, who is going to fall for that?

But to outright say, “Please see previous listing for price expectation?”  I can’t put this into words.  I just, yeah, wow.

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And now some photos, perhaps?

How about these five dynamite photos from a sexy new listing downtown!

First, how about a photo to answer every buyer’s #1 question: “Is there room for my forks?”

No, seriously.  This is a photo on the MLS listing.

What’s with this fridge?

It’s like black-matte and stainless steel had a baby.

The listing also showed this, just for good measure:

This isn’t the first time I’ve seen this: a photo of the inside of the kitchen cabinets…

…which, of course, always reminds me of this:

And last but not least, how about a random photo of a wall?

Yep.

That agent went to “Realtor College” for this sh!t.

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You know I love MLS photos with people in them, right?

I always wonder why the agent, doubling as the photographer, couldn’t hide the people in the photo, or re-take a picture with a thumb in it?

Well, sometimes the “person” in the photo is tough to spot, like this one:

I mean, that’s barely a thumb.

And since this “feature” photo for MLS is a picture of a house that’s 90% through construction, I guess a thumb-blur isn’t a buyer’s biggest problem.

Then sometimes, you have to work to see the person, and you almost think it’s okay for MLS…

But then once in a while, you just don’t quite understand.

I mean, why, just why…

…couldn’t the agent have asked these two guys to move when he or she took an awkward photo, while apparently laying on the ground:

Guy on the left was busy making a phone call.

Guy on the right has booming quads, just saying.  He’s now forever immortalized on MLS, and among real estate junkies everywhere…

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Nothing quite says, “Stale listing which hasn’t been updated in months,” like a photo of the lobby with a goddam Christmas tree…

And last, but certainly not least, a condo in Leslieville was listed last month, and since it was pre-occupancy, the listing agent must have felt he or she needed to market the area surrounding the condo, in lieu of interior photos.

There was a photo of the rec-centre, and a photo of the TTC streetcar.  You know, usual stuff, like maybe the Starbucks or something.

But I did feel when showcasing Jimmie Simpson park, the agent might have got a little too close to the action:

I don’t know who that barefoot-man is, and whether or not he’s watching those women do yoga in the park.

He might be a husband.

Or a babysitter.

Or a concerned citizen.

But I do know that as odd and potentially off-side as that photo was, the decision to get even CLOSER and take this photo for the MLS listing was probably a little too close for comfort…

The condo remains unsold; no surprise there.

But the listing has been edited, and these photos have been removed.

I guess I’m not the only one who found this creepy.