I’d like to start this week with one of the strangest listings I’ve seen in a long time.
Adhering to the TREB rules about unauthorized advertising, disparaging a competitor’s listing, etc., I kind of feel like I have to tell this joke without a punchline, but it’s still worth it.
Here’s the listing:
The first photo of the listing is always an important one, and personally, I’m a fan of using an exterior photo of the home, for freehold (who wouldn’t?) or an exterior shot of the condominium, for condos. Very, very rarely will I use a non-exterior shot, ie. if there’s a huge terrace. I find that people are used to seeing a photo of the building, as they browse through 80 of “Today’s Listings,” so while I am a fan of thinking outside the box, I don’t like the idea of flowers sitting on a stove-top as the “Feature Photo.”
Flowers on a stove-top.
That is photo #1 of 24 as you can see above. But more than that, it’s also photo #2 and photo #3, as you can see from this wacky photo array:
Okay, so we have three photos of flowers on the stove-top, then a photo of the backsplash with the photographer’s reflection in it, then two photos of the cupboard doors open, then a shot of the floor, then the sink, then a wall.
Need a close-up of the first four? I’m happy to oblige!
The last one is a real thinker because I have no idea what the photographer was doing here. Taking a photo of the backsplash? No way. That can’t be it.
What can it be though?
And when the agent gets these photos, wouldn’t he or she think, “Geez, I’m not using that one.”
Here’s the MLS write-up, and this is where my punchline gets lost:
I read this: “TOTALLY Renovated By (Name),” and I thought to myself, “Who the hell is (Name)?”
I’m not familiar with every designer or architect in the city, so what do I know.
But when I Googled the name, do you know what came up?
A real estate agent.
Yes, this “TOTALLY Renovated By…” refers to the real estate agent, not a designer.
And I suppose it’s the real estate agent that also took the photos of flowers, and then captured his or her reflection in the backsplash?
This is one of the wackiest listings I’ve seen in years.
And, oh yeah, the agent/designer also happens to be the owner…
Speaking of “Feature Photos,” this is how the interface looks on our internal TorontoMLS, and why I think the photo is important.
Here’s one that obviously caught my attention, but not for the right reasons:
You could argue that I clicked on this because of how colourful and/or weird it looked, but I don’t know that this is a good thing.
It just looks cheap:
MLS uses landscape photos, and this person has put together a collage of four square photos, as one photo that doesn’t fit properly on the MLS listing:
And another array, just for good measure:
Now why wouldn’t the seller and/or agent use landscape photos, and then include them ALL, as opposed to making a collage?
You get 40 photos on MLS, so one could argue, “Perhaps they ran out of room, or had better photos to use on the listing.”
Sure, that’s a valid point.
But if it were true, they wouldn’t use a photo of snow blowing by the front entrance of the building in the middle of June…
Still speaking of “Feature Photos,” what do you do when selling a locker?
Well, maybe it’s better than the clipart photo of a locker?
Except that this locker is sideways. I know maybe you didn’t realize that, but then again, gravity would have brought that broom in the corner of the room back down to earth already if it weren’t sideways.
Wait a minute……..it says “1 of 3.” What else is photographed in this spectacular listing of a locker?
I’m no real estate expert, but $1,920,000 for a one-bedroom house is a bit steep…
Man, this agent has clearly given up.
Haven’t updated the listing in three months, eh pal?
How do you book a viewing for a condo when you have no idea what the unit number is?
This is like issuing a plane ticket at Pearson Airport to an unspecified destintation, with no gate number.
Great way to sell real estate for top dollar, eh?
These neighbours clearly don’t talk…
I mean, what are the odds, right?
On the same day!
At least they have a good handle on market values, right?
If you see a house with a sideways photo, is it possible that the rest of the listing is of a better quality?
I love when people build a house and then say “All With City Permits” as if this is worth bragging about.
It’s like taking your in for service, and the mechanic comes out afterwards and says, “Just to let you know, we used new brakes instead of recycled, broken ones, and we actually changed the oil, as opposed to just pretending to, since you’ll never know the different.” And then you’re supposed to be impressed by this!
People love pot lights, eh?
Just an awful, terrible write-up.
What is “Cedar Glass,” anyways? I’d love to have been in the lab when the tech was able to fuse together those two distinct materials into one product, wow.
Here’s a fun one!
A particular house has been for sale many times at various prices, with different strategies, and with different agents, and remains unsold.
The first agent was from Hamilton, and wrote the following:
The second agent was from Oakville, and wrote the following:
The Hamilton agent refers to Queen & Leslie as “The Heart of Downtown.”
The Oakville agent refers to Queen & Leslie as “South Riverdale.”
I think we have a winner!
You know me, I just hate “fluff.” I hate crap like, “Sit On Your Front Porch And Watch The World Go By!”
When an agent uses the word “boasts” in describing a house like this, I know they’re trying too hard.
Last, but certainly not least, I give you this:
An 825 square foot condo, apparently listed for $1,600,000.
$1,940 per square foot – clearly a mistake, since nothing in Toronto has ever sold for this much.
But the listing has been up for 50 days.
So either one of two things is true:
1) This listing has been up for 50 days with a massive, unfathomable pricing error
2) This seller thinks his or her condo is worth $1,940 per square foot.
Honestly, I think it’s #2.
Which would be worse?
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