More MLS Musings!

We’re close, right?

Us.  I mean you and me.

I mean you, the nameless, faceless TRB reader who frequents the site and has an online relationship with me, the guy who has no clue who you are.

So then, based on our close relationship, can I just rant to you, for a little bit?

I’m tired of the quiet here in the office.

I’m tired of people saying, “The market is so slow, it’s the summer…”

Where’s the energy?

Where’s the intensity?

I believe that emotion is contagious, and right now in the market, there’s a willful lull.

It’s summer, I know.  And I’m boring, I know that too.

August is typically a very slow month in the real estate calendar, and it comes before the BOOM that we all expect to begin the fall market after Labour Day.  Nevertheless, this laissez-faire attitude that I feel in the market has made transactions a little more difficult.

Agents are slower to respond.  Deadlines are missed.  Deposits aren’t submitted on time.

Things are happening this month that would never happen in March when the market is ripping, and excuses are being made left, right, and centre.

I often muse that excuses are contagious as well.

“If everybody’s jumping off a bridge, it’s okay to do it…”

So there’s my rant, folks.  Not exactly “The Friday Rant” from yesteryear, but enough to explain why we’re looking at MLS Musings today.

Mid-August might not be the time to submit the TRB Post Of The Year, although interestingly, site traffic is only moderately down in the summer.  But I do know that the “relaxed” vibe in our city in August might lead to the TRB readers avoiding stats-heavy posts, angry political rants, or in-depth analysis of investment properties, so let’s have fun today, shall we?

“More MLS Musings” was a TRB staple for fifteen years, and then for some reason, it sort of fell by the wayside in 2024.

I brought the feature back a few months ago, and since then, readers have been emailing me MLS musings like crazy!

Thanks to everybody who contributed.

Let’s have a look at what’s funny, sad, pathetic, unprofessional, or simply amusing on MLS right now…

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I’d like to start today with a collection of MLS photos, all where the property owner has something weird in their house or condo.

Now, what’s weird is a sliding scale.

My friend Matthew Morrison has a great saying, “Everybody is weird to somebody else.”

That weirdo that you know, who everybody thinks is weird, probably thinks you’re weird!

Having said that, is it weird to have a full-size airplane in your living room?

Maybe not.

We’ve seen cool-guy lofts where there’s an old Indian Motorcycle in the corner of the room.

So maybe this airplane is totally normal?

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Then what about your everyday, run-of-the-mill staging alligator?

That’s an odd thing to purposely place outside on the balcony.

Especially since it’s positioned to scare the bleep out of whoever opens the door.

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We often expect attics to have weird things in them.

My children watch cartoons where the attic is always “Full of cool, old junk,” so they were really disappointed to see that our attic is just spray foam insulation and darkness.

So what’s in your attic?

Anything weirder than a 5-foot-tall blowup of Kenny from South Park?

Keep in mind, folks, this photo is on MLS!

This person has listed their home for sale and is showcasing this “third storey” via the Kenny picture.

Weird…

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Continuing the weird theme, but moving away from weird “things” people have in their homes, how about weird decisions?

Or odd decisions?

Maybe “questionable decisions” is the best way to put it?

Let’s say that you have a $1.3 Million property and you want to list it for sale.

Now, let’s say that you get to pick a “feature photo” for the MLS listing.

Would you use a photo of a semi-finished garage with a mattress on the floor?

Like I said: questionable decision.

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Now, I know that renovations are difficult, and I know that there’s a learning curve.

But regardless, there’s nothing to question with the decision that this homeowner made when renovating, because we can all agree that the decision to block the stairs with the fridge was ridiculous:

Questionable decisions, eh?

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Speaking of which, how about the decision to use this photo as the “feature photo” on the MLS listing:

I used the photo itself rather than the MLS listing so the picture is bigger.

That’s a photo of the front door with a note that reads:

“THIS PROPERTY IS MONITORED BY VIDEO SURVEILLANCE CAMERA.  IF YOU SEE ANY ILLEGAL ACTIVITY, PLEASE CALL POLICE OR LAWYER (Name).  THANKS.

What a great way to market a property, right?

I mean, who would get weirded out by that?

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Wait, sorry, we’re done with weird, and we’re talking questionable.

Here’s a questionable decision on behalf of this absolute joke of a real estate agent who put his illegal trespass in writing:

For real, folks.

This agent thought it was okay to show up to a property, unannounced, without an appointment confirmed, use the lockbox code that he had previously obtained for a different showing booked days earlier, and then enter the property with his client.

I’ve had agents complain to me, “Your blog makes real estate agents look bad!  I don’t know why you do it!”

No, my blog makes some real estate agents look bad.  And I highlight bad behaviour because I want, so desperately, for it to change.

The fact that this real estate agent trespassed is inexcusable.

But the fact that he thought texting the listing agent afterwards would make it okay shows that you simply can’t legislate against stupidity.

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This next one goes beyond “questionable.”

It’s absurd.

In a difficult condominium market, to openly state your unwillingness to be reasonable seems…oddly questionable:

The property was on the market for 130 days, and the listing subsequently expired.

Who could have predicted that, right?

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With this next one, I take no issue, but rather I question the need to spell it out so honestly:

The lack of commas doesn’t help the reader to understand and interpret what’s written above, but that aside, I don’t think any buyers out there are going to take issue with excluding a powder room mirror or a black wire light fixture.

If anything, the seller has simply played his or her hand, letting it be known that there’s something of value in the home that they want.

Questionable, indeed…

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Continuing the “questionable” theme, for those who have purchased a condominium before, you’ll undoubtedly have reviewed the condominium’s status certificate with your lawyer.

Many real estate agents will provide a status certificate along with the listing as a piece of marketing, or to speed up the sale process.

A status certificate “expires” every thirty days, and if a lawyer receives a status that is thirty days old, he or she will ask for a new one.

So what in the world is this agent thinking:

That’s a current listing.

The agent is providing a two-year-old status certificate.

Can you imagine all the things that could have changed in two years?

Special assessments, increases in maintenance fees, capital expenditures, lawsuits, and more.

That’s… questionable.

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Also questionable: math.

Check this listing out:

This is either a brilliant marketing strategy by a team that, to be very fair, does a ton of business and is exceptionally well-regarded.

Or, it’s misleading and opening the door to trouble.

We all know that the government is going to scrap HST on new condominium purchases, but can we advertise properties at prices that reflect the potential HST savings?

Here are the remarks in the listing:

The last line is the troubling one.

“If buyers do not qualify, contact listing agent for gross purchase price.”

That means the actual purchase price.

I mean, everything you need to know is there.  They’ve spelled it out perfectly, detailing how a buyer qualifies, and even noting that investors and corporations do NOT qualify.

But can we have a property listed at two different prices?

I think TRREB is going to have their hands full with this in the coming years, but kudos to this team for trying something new…

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This next one, I just find odd:

Why?

Or why not just take a photo of the front of the house like every other listing out there?

The magnifying glass effect is misguided.  It makes it look like something is wrong.

The fact that there’s only one photo doesn’t help either…

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Then again, this next one is even worse:

We get it.  We understand.

You didn’t hire a real photographer.

You took a landscape photo on your iPhone, after not bothering to move your car from the driveway, and then you thought, “Oh, crap, buyers might not know which house is listed!”

Oh, the house has been on the market for 112 days?  No kidding…

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Last, but not least, this might be my favourite musing in quite some time.

Take a look at this listing for a one-bedroom condo, listed for $499,000:

They led with the best photo possible, of course!

That’s an incredible common area on the roof of the building.

Here’s the photo from the listing, and note what I’ve boxed in red:

See that?

It says, “Rooftop BBQ, Roof Garden.”

We all put a different value on building amenities and common areas, but that’s a pretty sweet setup for this building, right?

Except, well, this common area doesn’t actually exist.

There is no “rooftop BBQ” and there is no “roof garden.”

Because what you see in the photo above actually belongs to a penthouse condo:

😭 😭 😭

I see a future lawsuit coming!

Well, actually, I just see a real estate agent who has listed a condo that he or she knows absolutely, positively, nothing about.  I’d be shocked if the agent ever went to the unit or the building, to be honest.

Nevertheless, this one made me laugh more than anything else I’ve seen in quite some time.

Have a great weekend, everybody!