Maybe I just expect too much when it comes to the way properties are listed for sale in today’s market.

Maybe it’s a matter of “if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em,” and I should list properties without cleaning them, staging them, fixing them up, or removing piles of garbage from the living room.

Maybe I should make laughable claims in the MLS description, misrepresent the property, and just do crazy things that you’d never expect in today’s red-hot market.  Like…..well, like every photo you’ll see below.  Enjoy!

Let’s start with something simple, shall we?

What do you see in this photo:

I know, you’re like me – you see a table and two chairs, wedged into a small nook.

But the developer, listing agent, and seller/owner see……..wait for it…….a DEN!

This unit was sold as “1-Bed-Plus-Den,” and believe it or not, this might be the worst exaggeration fo a “den” I’ve seen in real estate.

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Trust me when I say I did NOT set this up.

This is real.

I blacked out the listing agent’s name and brokerage, but this is a real photo.

Yes, folks, this “high end” house is for sale, with a toilet in the driveway!

If I had a house with a toilet in the driveway, I’d be embarassed.

I’m a classy dude.

If I listed my house for sale, but needed immediate access to a bathroom, I’d prefer to see….something…….hmmmm…..something like……THIS!

Seriously – what are people thinking?

Listing your $1.5 Million house for sale with a crapper on the front porch?

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This needs no explanation.

Just a photo of a door hook.  Pretty boring, right?  Why did I include this?

Well, because some people are really stupid, and don’t know how to use a door-stop, and/or don’t think to patch up a very small hole before going to market:

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Leave my card?

Where?

On the left, or the right, of the random piles of garbage that are for some reason present at this property, listed for one day, with a hold-back on offers and expectations of grandeur…

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You know the condo you’re looking at is “high-end” when the underground parking garage has nice cars in it.

But when you go past Lexus, Mercedes, and BMW, and into F1, you’re in a whole other category of condo…

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I often ask my clients, “Do you care who buys your house?”  Some people want to know their home is going to a nice family.

But by the same token, do you care who you buy your house from?

I think it’s safe to say that if you buy your home from somebody who has a Star Wars “light sabre” mounted on the wall of their living room, you’re going to inherit the obvious cool-factor…

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I’m a big fan of staging, as you know.

I work with Darren & Lucie from “Toronto Condo Staging & Design,” and they’re awesome.

Having said that, some stagers either don’t know have the experience, the supplies, or the basic level of fundamentals in order to stage a property.

I’ve noticed an increasing amount of photos that aren’t really photos – they’re the photo that came with the picture frame!

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The MLS listing for this condo said, “Beautiful outdoor terrace, perfect for entertaining!”

Really?

Then I guess the people being “entertained” on the terrace have no problem crawling across the owner’s bed to get outside via the only door?

Either that, or maybe, just maybe, this crappy balcony has absolutely no functional purpose, and the fact that the bed is jammed up into the door confirms it:

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And last but not least, guess how this property was described in the MLS listing:

Ready?

“Sprawling, Lush, Green Front Lawn.”

Buyer beware, I suppose?