I’m not a designer.
I’m not an architect.
I’m not a builder.
I’m not an interior designer.
I’m not a city planner.
There are a lot things that I am not, in the context of designing and building houses.
However, I know enough to opine that the “conceptual drawing” of this house simply has green magic marker scribbled in place of the trees:
Tell me I’m wrong.
Tell me it’s art.
Tell me it’s adding that “je ne sais quois.”
But then tell me that, for $5,000,000,” you could have done better than your 5-year-old drawing this goddam tree:
This next one was very interesting!
I had a listing earlier this year for a house that needed some love, but it was by no means a “gut” or a tear-down.
We sold this property for $915,000 amid nine offers.
Here’s a text message I received from one agent:
I had no clue what to make of this.
Buy the land? Huh? There’s a house on top of it!
Was this agent trying to out-smart us? Or was he just not all that smart himself?
Now, here’s the best part.
Three days after the property was sold firm for $915,000 and updated on MLS, I received this text:
I ended the thread there.
I know that you probably wish I had continued, just for fun, and the sake of this blog. But we can probably guess where this conversation would have gone, right?
Create your own caption. Wrong answers only…
This property brought out all the incompetent agents.
Here’s an agent asking me for my email address in a thread after I’ve sent him my email address:
Every agent was like this. One after the next.
Do you know how you can guarantee this next one isn’t from my phone?
Ninety-two unread messages! If I have two, it gives me anxiety.
This is from a colleague who said, “You should put this on your blog!”
This is also an example of a listing agent who doesn’t understand the concept: “Don’t put it in writing.”
This is, by definition, discrimination.
I understand that many landlords don’t want roommates, but you do NOT put this in writing.
How stupid could this agent be?
Here’s a message that one of my colleagues received on his basement apartment rental:
Remember on Sesame Street when you played, “One of these things is not like the other”?
Let’s try the game with this…
Here’s a “lead” from the Realtor.ca website from a chap named Julian, inquiring about our $1,199,000 listing which sold for $1,585,000:
Here’s a sales centre in 2021:
Here’s a sales centre in 1922:
Here’s an awesome advertisement for the “City of Leaside” dating back to 1913.
I love this for so many reasons.
They have “a million dollars worth of lots,” which is about $500,000 shy of an entry-level home in the area today.
“Leaside is a town with mayor and councillors…”
Where’s my *heart* emoji?
I suppose building standards have changed since 1913.
Here’s a subdivided lot with two new builds:
Just how close were these houses built together?
I’m not clairvoyant.
I have no crystal ball.
But I don’t feel like I’m going out on a limb here when I suggest that this property might prove difficult to lease…
Last, but not least, I think I posted this last year, but I’m not certain.
So you wanna be a landlord, eh?
Now, having nothing to do with real estate, I just felt the need to share this.
My daughter asked me the other day why instead of saying “PVR” a television show or “record,” I say “we need to tape the F1 race on Sunday” instead.
I showed her this:
Have a great weekend, everybody!