I’m not a designer.
I’m not an architect.
I’m not a builder.
I’m not an interior designer.
I’m not a city planner.
There are a lot things that I am not, in the context of designing and building houses.
However, I know enough to opine that the “conceptual drawing” of this house simply has green magic marker scribbled in place of the trees:
Tell me I’m wrong.
Tell me it’s art.
Tell me it’s adding that “je ne sais quois.”
But then tell me that, for $5,000,000,” you could have done better than your 5-year-old drawing this goddam tree:
This next one was very interesting!
I had a listing earlier this year for a house that needed some love, but it was by no means a “gut” or a tear-down.
We sold this property for $915,000 amid nine offers.
Here’s a text message I received from one agent:
I had no clue what to make of this.
Buy the land? Huh? There’s a house on top of it!
Was this agent trying to out-smart us? Or was he just not all that smart himself?
Now, here’s the best part.
Three days after the property was sold firm for $915,000 and updated on MLS, I received this text:
I ended the thread there.
I know that you probably wish I had continued, just for fun, and the sake of this blog. But we can probably guess where this conversation would have gone, right?
Create your own caption. Wrong answers only…
This property brought out all the incompetent agents.
Here’s an agent asking me for my email address in a thread after I’ve sent him my email address:
Every agent was like this. One after the next.
Do you know how you can guarantee this next one isn’t from my phone?
Ninety-two unread messages! If I have two, it gives me anxiety.
This is from a colleague who said, “You should put this on your blog!”
This is also an example of a listing agent who doesn’t understand the concept: “Don’t put it in writing.”
This is, by definition, discrimination.
I understand that many landlords don’t want roommates, but you do NOT put this in writing.
How stupid could this agent be?
Here’s a message that one of my colleagues received on his basement apartment rental:
Remember on Sesame Street when you played, “One of these things is not like the other”?
Let’s try the game with this…
Here’s a “lead” from the Realtor.ca website from a chap named Julian, inquiring about our $1,199,000 listing which sold for $1,585,000:
Here’s a sales centre in 2021:
Here’s a sales centre in 1922:
Here’s an awesome advertisement for the “City of Leaside” dating back to 1913.
I love this for so many reasons.
They have “a million dollars worth of lots,” which is about $500,000 shy of an entry-level home in the area today.
“Leaside is a town with mayor and councillors…”
Where’s my *heart* emoji?
I suppose building standards have changed since 1913.
Here’s a subdivided lot with two new builds:
Just how close were these houses built together?
I’m not clairvoyant.
I have no crystal ball.
But I don’t feel like I’m going out on a limb here when I suggest that this property might prove difficult to lease…
Last, but not least, I think I posted this last year, but I’m not certain.
So you wanna be a landlord, eh?
Now, having nothing to do with real estate, I just felt the need to share this.
My daughter asked me the other day why instead of saying “PVR” a television show or “record,” I say “we need to tape the F1 race on Sunday” instead.
I showed her this:
Have a great weekend, everybody!
at 8:36 am
Caption for the land only text:
“I wouldn’t know. You would have to ask the buyers who bought it.”
at 10:35 am
Haha, that’s a good one.
Mine would be: “I’ve been a real estate agent for only 15 years, so I don’t know much. Please explain to me how you buy the land but not the house on top of it?”
at 11:42 am
“Can you load the house onto a flatbed for me and drop it off at a friend’s up North?”
at 9:31 am
First renderings is what my top students did for their gr 10 Technological Design Architectural design unit project.
at 11:26 am
Regarding your throwaway picture re: the 413. An excellent investigative report was recently released regarding that potential boondoggle.
First, there’s the connections between high-profile developers and the Conservatives. Specifically eight major developers own 39 properties adjacent to this proposed highway. So guess who stands to benefit most from the construction of Highway 413? And guess who have poured significant amounts of $$ in the PC party’s coffers since 2014? And guess who’s the lead advisor to the Minister of Transportation?
Meanwhile the proposed 60-kilometre route has an estimated cost of $6 to $10 billion. And while the Ford government claims it will reduce commutes by as much as half an hour, a study commissioned by the previous Liberal government — which scrapped the project — indicated it would save less than a minute.
Funnily enough that report has been scrubbed from the Ontario Government website.
Finally municipal governments along the proposed highway have nearly all voiced their opposition to the project. Not that it matters. The government is using Minister Zoning Orders that allow developers to overrule municipalities’ right to decide how to develop their jurisdictions.
at 8:09 pm
Plus the fact that two of the three headlines are showing promo pieces by Brian Lilley, who never once mentions that his live-in GF is the head of press relations in the premier’s office. I will trust the one headline that doesn’t have a conflict of interest, thank you.
at 1:02 pm
unrelated except to tell another story about how people don’t get it:
I posted on kijiji that I had put a perfectly good ikea dresser out on the curb, free for the taking. Responses included: “will you deliver it to Mississauga?” Facepalm.
at 9:37 am
I recently sold an old full size fridge, with pictures, and someone emailed me, “is 30″ the width or the height?”
at 9:06 pm
The houses really close together: seems like the builders thought they had it all planned out to perfection only to realize they forgot to factor in the overlapping eaves-troughs!
I always wonder how you ever undertake external maintenance on those kinds of walls with no access.
at 9:43 am
That awkward moment when you discover that your $5MM house was designed by a guy using Sketch-up and a box of Crayolas.