The Worst Listing I Have Ever Seen!

MLS Musings!

5 minute read

January 28, 2022

A client of mine told me lately that he’s figured out how not to bother me.

Huh?

Bother me!  How could you be bothering me?

“When I have questions,” he explained, “Instead of bothering you, I just Google my question and add ‘Toronto Realty Blog’ and about nine times out of ten, an old blog post pops up that answers my question.”

I don’t know whether to be flattered, hurt, or feel obsolete!

But it’s funny, because as I started to write today’s blog post about The Worst Listing I Have Ever Seen, I wondered if, at any point in the last fifteen years, I’d written something like this before.

So I took my client’s idea, and Googled, “Toronto Realty Blog The Worst Listing I Have Ever Seen,” and low-and-behold, I found this:

The Worst Listing I’ve Ever Seen

That’s from January of 2020.

And what I also found amusing was that I used the exact same format then that I did today: numerical points, bold/underline.

I guess we could add “predictable” to my repertoire.

After finishing today’s blog, then looking back at the blog from 2020, I have concluded that the listing in today’s blog is far, far more worthy of the title, “Worst Listing I Have Ever Seen” than the listing featured in 2020.

So who wants to design the trophy?

Today’s listing is a doozie, folks.  Whereas the listing from 2020 showed equal levels of incompetence and laziness, today’s listing is so bizarre that I don’t even know how to make sense of it.  It’s the “worst” because, as you’ll see, I’m not even sure I know what is being offered for sale!  Or lease.  Or both.  You’ll see…

Have a gander:

(click the image to enlarge)

 

Let’s go through these issues and curiosities one at a time…

1) For Lease. 

Let’s start here.

I believe this is for lease.  But what is for lease?  A condo?  A locker?  A parking space?

As you’ll see in the subsequent points, we have no idea.

We’re likely led to believe that this is a parking space for lease, given the asking price, but when you see the subsequent points, you’ll be left wondering.

2) 1011-P

What is this?

Because it sure as hell isn’t a parking space!

Parking spaces would be something like P3-11, and the legal description of that would be “Level C, Unit 11.”

I believe that the owner of Unit #1011 in the building is leasing their parking space, so they magically invented something called “1011-P.”

3) No photos. 

Of course, why would there be photos on perhaps the worst listing I have ever seen?

No photo of the condo, parking space, locker, or whatever is being leased or sold.

Call me old-fashioned, but even if this is a locker for lease, put up a damn photo of the building itself so people can associate the locker with that address!

4) Condo?

This section says “Condo Apt.  Apartment.”

So it is a condo that’s for lease for $260 per month?  Or it’s a condo?  Pick one.

5) Portion for Lease

This is bizarre.  This section is almost never filled in, but just to cause more confusion, the listing agent checked the box for “other.”

As if you didn’t need more ambiguity, now we are wondering if there really is “a portion for lease” of this parking space, as in perhaps it’s a tandem front-back or side-to-side space, and you’re sharing with another person?

I mean, in reality, we know that’s not the case, since this listing agent likely smokes crystal meth for breakfast, but if this were a normal listing, we might get to wondering…

6) Locker

This is where things get really weird.  I mean, as though the previous five points, plus the crystal meth, aren’t weird enough…

According to this section, there is a locker.

Is this locker included with the parking space?  Is this two units listed together?

Or is this actually a locker for lease, and we’ve been wrong all along?

This section is really specific: Locker Unit#: 120.

Except that underneath that, it says: Unit #11

Here’s a case where TRREB’s MLS is causing confusion, or at least providing the listing agent the opportunity for more confusion.  Is the locker number 120 or 11?  It states both.

Then again, is this a locker for lease or a damn parking space?

7) Beds & Baths

Alright, this is weird.

If this is a parking space for lease, and not a locker as per Point #6, then why are there 2-bedrooms, a den, and 2-bathrooms?

This isn’t a mistake, folks.  Somebody went out of their way to note that one bathroom is a 3-piece and one is a 4-piece.

So again, I ask: what is actually for lease here?

8) Vacant

Good to know.

So if I’m inspecting this………locker, I won’t find anything (or anyone…) in there.

9) Square Footage

If this is a parking space for lease, it’s going to be the largest damn parking space I’ve ever seen!

You could probably park an eighteen-wheeler in there.

But my favourite part is the “Sqft Source” where the listing agent has put As Per Mls.  No kidding?  On your MLS listing, you’re sourcing the square footage on your MLS listing.  This is like looking ito a mirror that’s facing a mirror and seeing an infinite number of reflections…

10) Air Conditioning

Most parking spaces are not air-conditioned, so it’s good to know that this one is.

11) Room Measurements

Now we’re just getting weird.

As with Point #7, why would we go to such great lengths to measure each individual room of this condo which is not for lease, to include on the lease listing for a parking space?

12) Parking Only

A-ha!

Now we get confirmation that this is, indeed, a parking space for lease.

But then what the EFF is with all the other crap above?

13) Verification of Information

You know how much I hate seeing “Buyer To Verify” on listings, since that doesn’t constitute a legal indemnification in the case of misrepresentation.  But in this case, it’s comical.  The entire listing is riddled with mistakes and inconsistencies, to say the least, and the listing agent notes that this needs to be verified.

At least they said, “please.”

14) No Smoking, No Pets

In a parking space?

If somebody rents this parking space to chill out with his dog and hack cigs, then the landlord has larger worries.

15) Support Ticket

Is this the future of real estate?

To ask a question of this listing agent, a person needs to open up a ticket?  Is Geek Squad on the line here?  Tech support?  Will somebody overseas answer the phone at a call centre?

This is pathetic.  This is “new business models” at work.

16) Call Me!

Further to Point #15, the agent completely walks it back.

Huh?

“All Questions And Agent Support ‘Must’ Open A Ticket,” but that is followed by “Or Text/Call.”

Who in their right mind is going to open a ticket when you can call or text the agent?

“Excuse me, sir, would you like a fresh glass of ice-water, or would you prefer to drink directly from the toilet?”

Despite everything in this listing, I believe this is the most bizarre part.  And that’s saying a lot!

I know an instructor at Humber College who teaches the real estate courses, and s/he has told me all about the insanity that exists not only within those classrooms but also within the structure of the courses and the program.

Originally, I was going to pitch the idea of an expose on the terrible job that Humber College has done with real estate education to one of Toronto’s major newspapers, but the more I think about it, I might just as this person for an anonymous interview.

I believe one of the many reasons why we see listings like those above is because 99% of the “learners” graduating from Humber College are completely unprepared for a career in real estate.

That listing is an insult to our industry.  And you know what else?  It’s just the first of many more like it.

Have a great weekend, everybody!

Written By David Fleming

David Fleming is the author of Toronto Realty Blog, founded in 2007. He combined his passion for writing and real estate to create a space for honest information and two-way communication in a complex and dynamic market. David is a licensed Broker and the Broker of Record for Bosley – Toronto Realty Group

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6 Comments

  1. J

    at 12:06 pm

    I think a lot of these issues stem from the listing agent mistakenly thinking that they should include details of the unit that’s associated with the parking space. A lot of the details such as the room dimensions and square footage were copied from a recent MLS listing of the unit 1011 from the same building (hence “As Per Mls”).

    1. JL

      at 4:43 pm

      Yeah, that’s what I thought as well. Probably copied an older listing that was for the whole unit, and then failed to delete all the useless info for their new listing for just the parking spot.

  2. Jennifer

    at 12:20 pm

    I’m not so offended by this. it is clearly a parking spot. What is more offensive is MLS archaic system that does not have options for a parking spot.
    What is perhaps even worse is there is probably a condo by-law prohibiting non-residents from renting a parking spot in the building, but this is usually not enforced unfortunately.

  3. Ed

    at 5:20 pm

    Sorry David that’s a fail 🙁

    We want effed up pictures, poor english, misuse of common phrases, bad measurements, and so on.
    You have to make it more personal.

    1. David Fleming

      at 9:06 am

      @ Ed

      You’ve set the bar very high……for low!

      I still think it’s the worst listing I’ve ever seen. Perhaps it’s different from my viewpoint here as an agent, but I still can’t get over this…

  4. Appraiser

    at 9:24 am

    Consider that if the market takes a 30% haircut, which the bears are currently licking their chops over, ’cause interest rates be on the rise and all…

    That would mean most of the country would be right back where it was a year ago – when everyone and their cousin could afford to buy a home – right?

    Ah! the good old days.

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