“What goes around, comes around.”

“Do unto others as you would have them to unto you.”

“Never be so busy as not to think of others.”

Sayings.  Idioms.  Scripture.  Quotes.

Call them what you will.  I think we could all come up with something similar to essentially say “be kind.”

How many of you have sold a house or a condo in your lifetime?

How did you handle the closing?

Did you buy a bottle of champagne for new owners and leave it with a hand-written note on the kitchen counter, after having the property professionally cleaned, despite that not being specified in the Agreement of Purchase & Sale?

Or did you leave the backyard full of garbage and unscrew all the light-bulbs and remove the toilet paper rolls because nothing was included in the Agreement of Purchase & Sale to stop you from doing so?

When it comes to the closing of a house or condo, every seller is different.

How a seller handles a closing depends, in part, on how they are contracted to do so.  But it also depends on their character and human nature.  Nobody is forcing you to write a note to the new buyer and offer them champagne.  You do that because you believe it’s the right thing to do.  It’s how you were brought up.   It’s a shining example of who you are.

The best part about those random acts of kindness is the randomness.  It’s the unexpected nature of the act that catches you off guard, makes you smile, and makes it special.

On the other side of the coin, you have those that expect.

These expectations can be anywhere from reasonable to completely ridiculous, and trust me when I say that I’ve seen it all.

Once again, this stems from human nature, upbringing, and outlook on life.  Expectations are often accompanied by the word “should,” which, as I’ll explain, can be terribly misplaced.

I know that I’ve touched on this topic several times before, but it’s coming up so frequently out there in the spring market that I feel the following stories and the accompanying analysis is prudent.

Last week, I had two properties closing, both where the buyers had certain expectations about how the properties should be delivered, and by extension, what the sellers should do before closing.

I was on the sell-side for one of these and the buy-side for the other.

But first, let me back up a moment.  Because it was these two experiences last week that made me want to share a story from a few months back that never made it into my blog.  It was, simply put, the most ridiculous request I had ever received upon closing from another agent.

When you purchase a house or a condo, you’ll usually include a “visitation clause” in your Agreement that specifies you can return to the property before closing two or three times.  These visits are often used to show friends and family, or take contractors through, or for the buyers to take measurements for furniture.  Often, the buyers will use one of their visits 2-3 days before closing just to make sure the house or condo is in good shape.

I sold a condo in Liberty Village earlier this year that was as straight-forward a transaction as they get, for a condo that was as cookie-cutter as they come.  About four or five days before closing, the buyer agent booked a visit with her client.  Two days later, I received this email – and it is verbatim:

Dear Dave:

My buyer and I inspected the premises on Tuesday evening.

We noted multiple deficiencies in the condominium unit that require rectification and repair before closing.

The following is an exhaustive list:

-the track door in the hall closet is not functioning properly as the door does not slide easily
-the rod in the hall closet is bent in the middle
-the light fixture in the front foyer is missing one light bulb
-the transition piece from the foyer to the kitchen is chipped
-there are scratches on the stainless steel fridge
-there are scratches on the halogen cooktop
-there is a small crack in upper left corner of the mirrored backsplash in the kitchen where the mirror meets the cabinetry
-three of the kitchen cabinet doors are loose (left door lower side, right door above stove, right door above fridge)
-the track light in the kitchen is not flush to the ceiling, and it is missing the cover for one of the four bulbs
-the kitchen sink is dirty
-there are cleaning products left below the kitchen sink that should be removed
-the plug/stopper in the bathroom sink doesn’t have a switch to push it up; it looks like you have to use your hand
-there are streak marks on the bathroom mirror from what looks like Windex
-one of the bathroom tiles is chipped
-the bathroom vanity has water damage on the bottom of both doors
-the bedroom door looks to be 1.5 inches too short and doesn’t meet the floor
-the dimmer in the bedroom does not work at all
-there are wire and plastic hangers left in the bedroom closet
-there are scuff marks on the walls of the bedroom closet
-the sliding door to the balcony is really heavy and should probably glide easier
-exterior windows are dirty
-balcony floor is dirty

The entire condo seems to have finger prints and scuffs on the walls.  I’m not saying the whole place needs to be re painted but a magic erase sponge would probably do more damage.  Can you see if they can use touch-up paint?

Really hoping you can address these concerns in timely manner Dave!

The buyer would like to inspect the property again on Friday morning before closing.  I know we have used our three buyer visits but I’m sure you would agree that it’s in the best interest of all parties to ensure the property is ready for title exchange.

(Name)

–

Now do you see why I didn’t want to share this?

I’ve been told before that I come off as negative, or that my stories are always inherently negative, or that I like to rub salt in the wounds.  I’ve had people suggest that I’m not being “fair” to other agents, saying, “David, you were a rookie agent too, once upon a time.”

I get that.  I really do.

But the stories can’t be happy all the time.  I can’t only talk about wins.

I received a similar email (although not nearly as insane) for a house I sold on Millwood Road last year, and I can’t recall if I posted it on TRB.  I can’t recall when the last blog about “pre-closing inspections” took place.

But I can tell you that, as memory serves, that email above was the most naive, uninformed, presumptuous, entitled, and misguided email I’ve ever seen with respect to pre-closing “issues.”

Some of the things on his list, like not knowing how a push-button drain-stopper works, are beyond laughable and bordering on pathetic.

My email back to the other agent, which was sent about two minutes after receiving the email above, simply read:

(Name)

Your clients purchased a resale condo.

David.

That was it.

Why say anything more?

He was right: my seller did need to remove the hangers from the closet, the cleaning products from under the sink, and the paint cans in the hall closet, even though the paint cans were because we just had the unit painted before listing it for sale, and most people are very happy to know the paint colour and model, let alone get a can left behind, but I digress.

The rest of his “deficiencies” were merely aspects of the condo that were already present when his buyer viewed, and subsequently purchased the condo.

You buy the property you’re standing in, not a better, renovated, perfected version of it.

And this is what many buyers and buyer agents don’t understand.

The agent noted above did email me back, something like, “Dear Dave: your last email was disappointing…”

First of all, it was weird to see “Dave” since I have no relationship with this guy.  I spoke to an agent named “Michelle” earlier tonight but I stopped short of calling her “Meesh.”

But his email went on about “responsibilities” and “professionalism” and I just didn’t want to entertain his delusion.

I didn’t ignore him because I wanted to be a jerk but rather because I know “the type.”  There’s no convincing them.  To write that email to begin with shows he’s not playing with a full deck, but to engage him in a conversation about how resale transactions work would be pointless.

The sale closed as scheduled, and I never heard from this agent again.

Many of you are wondering who the buyer and the agent were.  You’re hoping I’ll spell it out: age, gender, demographic, etc.  At the risk of giving you ammunition to stereotype, I will note that the agent was not new, but newer, and probably doesn’t do a lot of business.  The buyer was young, and I’ll leave it there.

So last week, I received an email from a buyer agent who had sold one of my listings, and her buyer-client had noted a couple of “deficiencies” in the way that the above email read.  I could tell from her email that she didn’t want to be sending this.  I called her, and just by the way she answered the phone, she already knew what I was going to say.

“Your client bought a resale condo,” I told her, to which she was already saying, “I know, I know,” before I even finished.

She’s a great agent.  I like her.  I even told her she should join Bosley.  But I told her, “It’s up to you to explain this to the buyer.”

The buyer was a first-time buyer, early-20’s, and as the agent explained, “I know your seller doesn’t have to fix these things, it’s just that my buyer has no clue how to do it herself.”

Also last week, I was doing a pre-closing inspection for a young couple who bought a gorgeous new house in the west end.  We’d had a rough go with this one.  The property was tenanted by a family who refused access to the property, both during the listing period (which is why we got this for about $100,000 below fair market value – I’m told only 25-30% of requested showings were confirmed), as well as after we had bought the house.  So imagine my excited buyers, eager to visit their soon-to-be new home, only to discover they’d have to wait seven weeks until the tenants had moved out.

With only two days between the tenants vacating and our closing, we went to see the property.

Tell me I’m biased and guilty of siding with my own clients here, but as discussed with the listing agent previously, because of all the nonsense with the tenants, the seller could cut us some slack and help with any issues before closing, especially since the seller owned a construction company.

My clients made a list of all the things they felt were wrong with the house and they sent it to their lawyer to provide to the seller’s lawyer, and to myself to provide to the seller’s agent.

I stood in the kitchen of their almost-home, and I had to give them some tough love.

But it was really tough love, however.  Because they were wearing masks and I could only see their eyes, and their eyes were just so said, like little puppy-dog eyes.  They waited seven weeks to get access to the house they bought, and they just wanted some goddam touch-up paint!

I told them, “You know the seller doesn’t have to do anything you’re asking for, right?”

They nodded.  They knew.

“This is a resale house,” I told them, and although I had said this to so many people before, I found myself feeling like the seller should move heaven and earth, given all the nonsense with the tenant.

The listing agent wanted nothing to do with this, however.  He said the tenant had physically accosted him, that there was a pending RECO complaint (against him and me…), and that he never wanted to think about this transaction again!

We were S.O.L.

The buyers’ lawyer was able to squeeze some blood from a stone in the end, which was really surprising since pre-closing complaints rarely go anywhere, so I was happy for my clients.

But I was sad when I left them that day.  I was bit upset.  Not with the situation, or them, but with myself.

I realized that I’m not doing a good enough job explaining to my own clients how resale transactions work.

I take a lot for granted in this business.  I make assumptions every day, especially when it comes to what people might know, do know, or should know.

From now on, when I’m taking buyers out to look at houses, whether it’s the first time out or whether we’re in the house on which they’re going to make an offer, I need to explain beyond the shadow of a doubt what is acceptable upon closing, and what is not.

Nail holes?  Not an issue.  It’s not the responsibility of the seller to fill small nail holes, unless they are contractually obligated.

The buyer is buying that house; the one they’re in, the one with the pictures on the wall, and thus the small nail holes in the wall.  It’s so simple for me to say, “By the way, when you purchase a home, a seller doesn’t need to fill those holes,” and yet I always assume that the buyers know.

Some do.  Some don’t.  Many have never thought about it, while others don’t care.

I’ve never had a buyer that thought the entire property should be renovated before closing, like that email above from the agent who sold my Liberty Village condo.  But as buyer agents, we can’t leave any doubt.

You get the house that you bought.  It could work differently, but it doesn’t.  Because if one thing had to be, or could be, or should be fixed/updated/repaired/remedied/improved before closing, then everything ought to be.