How many times have I told a story where I lay claim to the worst house/agent/client of all time?

Eventually, people will stop believing me.

BUT….this story, which should take three full posts to explain, will describe my twelve days interacting with the WORST AGENT IN TORONTO…

This story begins with my very young clients, “Jordan and Skyler,” whose names have been changed to protect the quasi-innocent…

Jordan and Skyler were looking for a condo rental in downtown Toronto, and only a couple years removed from university, were hoping for something in the $1600/month range.

I informed them right from the get-go that this price range does not exist for 2-bedroom units, and we began looking slightly higher around $1800.  We found a 2-bedroom, 2-bathroom unit at 18 Yonge Street for $1795/month, and it was absolutely perfect.

Normally, I rant and rave about how terrible these buildings are, but it met all of Jordan & Skyler’s needs.  Skyler was close to the DVP and Gardiner, which was a huge asset considering he drives all over Ontario for work, and Jordan was a block from Union Station where she would take the TTC to work every morning.  The building is also centrally located, and the unit itself had a huge living space that would be perfect for all the university-like parties that these post-university kids would be throwing every weekend.

Jordan & Skyler were excited beyond belief, and I made the call to the listing agent to discuss our offer.

This is when I first encountered…….Paul.

Paul, which is his real name, did not return my call for SIX HOURS.

Real estate is a 24/7 business, and I return calls within a minute of receiving them.

After seeing the unit on Sunday at 2PM, Paul called me back Sunday evening just before 8PM.  I told him we had seen the unit, and that we’d like to make an offer.

Paul asked me, “Hold on a second.  Aren’t you going to inquire if the unit is still available?”

I assumed at this point that the unit was unavailable, or else why would Paul make a statement like this?  I played along and asked him if the unit was available, and he answered, “Yes, it is.”

Huh?  Okay…

Then as I began to tell him that we had our credit checks, employment letters, rental applications all in order, he cut me off again and asked, “Aren’t you going to inquire about the asking price of the unit?”

I assumed at this point, that he was going to inform me that the asking price had been reduced, since it was on the market for almost four weeks, vacant, at $1795/month.  I replied, “Ohhhh terrific okay, so you’ve reduced the price?   Because we were going to offer $1700.”

There was a long pause, and then Paul said, “Nooooo.  The price has gone UP.  We’ve increased the asking price to $1895/month.”

I said, “You RAISED the price?  I’ve never heard of that before.”

Then Paul, in his only moment of glory during our twelve days together, said “Welcome to the market.”

What a snide, condescending ass!  “Welcome to the market?”  This guy works out of Markham, Ajax, or some other hole, and he’s telling ME how things are?  I asked him if he would consider full-original-asking price of $1795, and he said “no.”

That was the end of our phone call.  I called Jordan to tell her the bad news, and she understood.

The next morning, Monday, I got a call at the office at about 10AM.

“Hello, David.  This is Paul, the listing agent from 18 Yonge Street.  You showed my unit at 18 Yonge Street.”

I was confused.

I replied, “Uhhhh….yeah Paul, I know who you are.  We spoke last night, remember?”

He said, “Yes, sure, okay.  Well…..I’m wondering if your clients are still interested in the unit?”

“Well, Paul, not much has changed in the last fourteen hours, of course they’re interested.  But didn’t you raise the price for no reason, act like an ass on the phone to me, and then tell me you wouldn’t take a reasonable price?”

“Well, if they are still interested, you should bring us an offer.”

I told Paul that we were only willing to offer $1700—our original price, and that we’d be wasting time if he didn’t accept this.  He told me to put it down on paper, and fax it to him.

I called Jordan & Skyler to tell them the “great news,” and they were ecstatic.  We really thought this was going to work!  So they signed the offer in all the right places, but together their credit checks, employment letters, and rental applications, and we faxed it over to Paul the next morning.  This was a Tuesday morning at 9AM, and we gave Paul an irrevocable of 11:59PM that night.

I called his cell phone, and left a message.

Then, I called again four hours later, and again, he didn’t pickup. 

This was just the beginning of this man and his inability to press “TALK” on his cell phone, since in our twelve days of dealing with eachother, not once did he ever pickup his phone when I called.  I had him paged through his office twice, and began to wonder how a man who worked in a thriving, non-stop, 24/7 business was so unavailable!

Tuesday came and went, and Jordan & Skyler were rather upset.  Wednesday morning, I called Paul again and again, and once more after that, but no response.  By Wednesday night, our offer had been expired for almost 24 hours, and I still had yet to even hear from this man!!

Thursday afternoon, more than two full days after we faxed over an offer, I got a page from my office:

PAUL FROM RE/MAX, CAN CLIENTS COME UP TO FULL ASKING PRICE?

I was absolutely livid.  This man, who doesn’t return phone calls and won’t even call to speak to me on the phone, actually had me PAGED through the office with something so ridiculous as to ask if my clients would come up to full asking price….after I already told him they would only go to $1700!  Paul and I had already discussed this!

(I’m actually getting mad, again, as I type this now…..three weeks after the fact.)

That night, I dialed *67 from my office phone to disguise the Caller-ID, and Paul finally picked up his phone….

To Be Continued….