What the heck is a “starter marriage” anyways?

Just as many would advise against “settling” for that somewhat/almost special-someone, I would strongly advise against “settling” for a property after you’re grown tired of searching.

She’s out there – keep looking!  I mean, the property is out there…..yes….she is…

Last Friday night once my knitting class was over, I went home and ran a warm bubble bath and poured myself a glass of white wine.

I read the latest Judith Krantz book in my lavender bath robe as I waited for the sea salts to dissolve in my tub, and I then I began to casually browse the new movies on TMN On Demand.

Has everybody seen Up In The Air?

What a movie!

There are so many underlying themes!

The delicate balance between work and life.

Aging and generation gaps.

Goals, hopes, dreams.

Expectations, plans, futures.

Family.

Corporate America.

And of course, the concept of true love and the idea of “settling.”

The idea of “settling” for a life partner once you reach a certain age draws some serious comparisons to “settling” for a property once you reach a certain time frame.  I guess the only difference is – people seem to move around a lot during life.  Take that last sentence to mean whatever you like…

A client of mine has been looking for that “special” property for the better part of six months now.  He and his girlfriend are looking to move in together and the market pressure is certainly getting to them.

They both want out of their parents’ houses, and they obviously want to start their lives together under the same roof.

But they just haven’t found the right property.

Mario and Katie have officially anointed themselves as “real estate experts” on account of having seen so many places.  About half-way through our search, Mario was promoted and thus he increased his price ceiling by a good $40,000.  This opened a whole new option set for us, and of course, it re-ignited the search.

We’ve seen every condo in the King West area between $350,000 – $400,000 in our targeted buildings during the past six months, save for a few where we knew we already didn’t like the floor plan, on account of being experts.

Last weekend, Mario and Katie saw a unit at 1000 King Street West that was a great “value play” at $399,000.  It was 1000 square feet, and had two large bedrooms (split plan) and two four-piece bathrooms.

I loved the unit right away simply for the price, but Mario wasn’t convinced.

Katie proclaimed, “Honestly, I just want to get something already.  I’m just so tired of looking.”

I understand her frustration entirely.  Finding a place means moving out of Mom & Dad’s house, and moving in with Mario!

But then Mario said something that put it all into perspective: “I don’t want to settle.”

He figured that they had been looking for so long already, that he didn’t want to “settle” for something that wasn’t right all the way.

This condo didn’t have the “wow” factor he was looking for, and although it probably sold for under market value, it just wasn’t worth settling for.

He had that, “If I’ve waited this long, I can wait longer” mentality.

The move to purchase a property is life-altering and it’s not one that you can do on impulse, or out of frustration.

I think Mario understands that Katie wants to start her new life in a downtown Toronto condo so badly that she’d be willing to accept less than perfection.  Right now, she admittedly wants anything!

But they’ve decided to keep the search going, and they refuse to settle for something that’s somehow less than what they drew up in their minds when the search started.

And you know what?  I agree with them.

You can’t settle. 

Because eventually, you’ll either regret the purchase decision of your condo, or in our parallel world, you’ll get divorced.

You don’t want to settle.

You don’t want to be that 29-year-old girl who’s biggest two fears in life are spiders, and the idea of waking up one day and being 30-years-old and single.

I was once set up with a girl just like that.

She was 29, and I was only 25.

She was clearly looking for her husband, as she did NOT want to be 30 and single, and thus she proceeded to interview me over the weirdest lunch “date” I’ve ever had.

“Any history of mental illness in the family?…….pass the ketchup, please…..”

I wonder if she ended up “settling” for somebody that wasn’t Mr. Right instead of continuing her search beyond her desired time frame.

Mario and Katie are in this property search for the long haul.  The busy spring market will bring about a flurry of new listings, and if it takes another month, two months, or into July, they are willing to wait for the perfect property.

So…..

…..thoughts from the gallery on starter marriages?