I basically wrote about one-quarter of this before I stopped and said, “This is ridiculous.  People know this.  Why am I writing this?”

But then I thought about just how often in this industry I complain about a listing agent, or a buyer’s agent for that matter, and the thing they did, or said, or didn’t do, when all the while, they should have known better!  So doesn’t it seem to reason that many would-be sellers might take this for granted as well?

In Monday’s blog post, I talked about how any restrictions on showings whatsoever are too many restrictions on showings.  Even if you have a tenant, you should do everything you can to work with that tenant, including financial incentives, to ensure that every single possible buyer who is interested in the property can gain access to the property at that buyer’s convenience.

Today, I want to go through a few more points that I think are common sense, but alas, many of you might not have thought of.

And as with the blog post on Monday, these aren’t suggestions on my part.  I’m telling you emphatically, these points must be followed if you are in anything resembling a seller’s market, otherwise I do believe you’re leaving money on the table.

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Don’t Be Home

We touched on this in Monday’s blog post, but I can’t stress this enough.

One of the readers commented on how when he was looking for a house (he was my client – detailed in the comment), we entered into a tenanted property where the woman was breast-feeding in the dark, with dogs, and how the place showed so poorly.

He’s not exaggerating, we really did get that property for a great price, well under list, and had all the leverage in the negotiation.  The house was rotting on the market, since the listing was awful, there weren’t any photos (or no good ones, I can’t remember), and the house showed even worse in person than it ever could have shown online.

And to top it all off, the residents were home.

Now in fairness, they were tenants.   So for the love of God, if you’re an owner, get the ‘eff out of the property for showings.

This is what I meant at the onset when I said, “Why am I writing this?”  Do people not know this already?  Maybe the avid TRB readers who hail from the central core.  But if you’re a proud owner of a townhouse in Keswick, I suggest you take the same initiatives.

For the life of me, I can’t understand why any owner would be home for a viewing.  There’s just absolutely no reason for it, within reason.

Pets

Tough one here, right?

Well, just imagine how tough it is for me to tell the home-owner, often twenty minutes after I meet them, “You should really find a place that will board your dog.”

Believe it or not, many sellers say “Okay.”  Many sellers already had this thought.

But many, many do not.  And many are offended that I want them to leave poor Scooter with a kennel, all in the

Kids

Hmm…..is it odd that I put “pets” ahead of “kids?”  I’m not sure how that happened.

Maya threw a book at my head tonight when I was putting her to bed, and Bella is sitting on my desk peacefully while I write this, so perhaps it was subconscious.

In any event, many sellers will completely move out of the house when they put their house or condo on the market, as detailed in Monday’s blog.  Again, to be fair, if you live in an area where houses take 60 days to sell, I’m not suggesting you do this.  I’m referring to houses or condos in the central core that are listed with an “offer date” six to eight days later.  If you know when your property is going to sell, and it’s only a week, you can arrange to move out for that time period.

For those living at home during the listing, you can NOT take a “wait and see” approach to how you balance your children’s well-being, and maximum exposure for your home.  You need to plan ahead, and try to be consistent, both for the benefit of your kids, as well a the listing.

You’ll often see “Last Showing Out By 8:00pm As Sellers Have Young Child” detailed in the MLS listing.  That’s fair, and again, while it’s a restriction on a showing, which I don’t like, there’s a reason for it.  If the sellers have to sell at this time, with the child at this age, then so be it.  Maybe they didn’t plan for the sale, maybe the baby came early, who knows.  But bottom line – establish the ground rules in advance, otherwise you’ll throw off the buyer pool as well as your child and spouse.

For those with young children, make sure they understand what’s going on.  If an agent shows up early and takes the key from the lockbox, and walks into your home, your kids are going to wonder what the hell is happening.  It’s even scarier for them when you rush them out the back door, and leave three strangers in the living room.

When it comes to meals, my advice is to eat out every night.  A friend of mine sold his house two years ago, and I remember him sending me a picture of his 2-year-old son, sinking his teeth into Burger King.  His caption read, “The listing is a grind, but at least one member of the family doesn’t mind!”  My buddy took his son out for dinner every night that week when their house was for sale, and that meant not only was his son’s life not interfered with, but there was unfettered access to the house for buyers as well.

I still believe that if you have young kids at home, and you know your house will only be listed for a week, you should really, really consider living with your parents for a short time.  Your parents will love it, trust me!

Meals

This ties into the above, and it also falls into the “common sense” category.

If your house is on the market for 6-8 days while you’re “holding back offers,” don’t cook in the house.

I know you’re vegan, and allergic to peanuts, and also gluten-free, and you really don’t like when people touch your cutlery.  But you also like getting top dollar for your home, so just order Freshii at 9pm or go out with friends after work.

Oh, I know – you don’t eat past 6:15pm, and you would never eat carbohydrates after 5:00pm.  Well, tough.

Your house is no longer your home; it’s your asset.  And if your asset isn’t in showroom-condition, then you’ve done something wrong.

Nobody is crazy enough to leave dirty dishes in the sink, so I won’t even go there.  But what about dirty dishes in the dishwasher?  Egad!  People in this house eat food?  And they clean dishes?  I know, it was like finding out that your girlfriend had dated other dudes before you.  And here you thought this house was pristine, right down to the dishwasher.  Feel free to extend that analogy…

But we’re trying to present perfection here!  A model home, a showroom property!

So why risk forgetting to take out the garbage with your fish bones from last night?

And while you don’t mind the smell from the kitchen, because it was your food, buyers are looking for neutrality throughout, for every sense they possess.

To mess up the house, is to trust that you will clean it back up again.

So why risk it?

Jewelry

There’s an old adage in our business: “If you’re worried about it, then take it out of your house.”

Knock on wood, but in 15 years I have never had an item go missing from a home.  But it does happen.  The probabilities in life would make it a virtual certainty.

So when my clients ask, “Should I remove the necklace my grandmother gave me?  It’s not worth a lot, but I would die if it ever went missing,” then the question is basically answered right then and there.

If there’s anything in your house that concerns you, whether it has value or not, or has a high probability of being stolen or not, take it with you.

Personal Items

When your home is for sale, people are not just looking at the property.

They’re looking at you.

It’s unavoidable.  It’s just human nature.  Curiosity is natural, especially when money and potentially ego are present.

Buyers will look at your personal items, sometimes, passively, and sometimes overtly.

If you don’t need your framed MBA diploma on the wall, then get rid of it.  I always tell my clients to depersonalize their properties, and no seller-client of mine would ever have their degree on the wall, or wedding photos, or even the photo of dear great-grammy boarding the Titanic, that was displayed in the Smithsonian and written about in TIME magazine.

Get rid of it all.

And I can’t believe I have to explain this, but it seems I do.  because I see this everywhere.

If a doctor is looking at your home, and he or she sees your high school diploma framed and proudly displayed on the wall, that doctor is going to walk out of the house with zero intention of buying it, whether that decision was subconscious or not.

If Facebook threw up on your wall, and you have a collage of photos of you and your friends, peel them off.  Otherwise, buyers will gravitate toward the wall in a game called, “Do I know anybody here?” that all buyers play, even though they had no real intention of doing so.

Anything that you don’t want buyers to see, tuck it away some place they aren’t going to see it.

Keep in mind that buyers will look in kitchen cabinets, and in bedroom closets.  It’s not weird – they just want to see how much closet-space you have!

Buyers might also check out your medicine cabinet

Really, REALLY “Personal” Items…

This isn’t a typo, and it’s not a joke either.

We’re all adults here, right?  Can we not talk about this?

There’s no reason that a buyer should open the bottom drawer in your night-stand, but there’s also no reason why you needed to leave the double-dong there either.

I know that this seems like a violation of your privacy, and it is.  But I’m just saying – buyers look everywhere.  And your name is on the listing, and your photo may be on the wall.

I have two really great stories on this subject, so here goes.

About a decade ago now, a colleague of mine had a rental listing down by the Air Canada Centre, and on the morning the listing went live on MLS, the owner called my colleague in a complete panic.

She told my colleague, “I left something there.  Something I need you to get for me.”

My colleague said it was no problem.

The client went on to explain that it was a “private item” and it was left on the bed.

My colleague said she would go down there right away.

A bunch of us in the basement of 290 Merton Street were yukking it up, joking about what it could be, when my colleague bolted back into the office, and threw a plastic bag on the ground with an emphatic “Ewww!”

At the risk of getting too graphic here, just let your imagination run wild with this.  I mean, it’s not uncommon for a single person to own one of these, although it is uncommon to leave one on your bed, the morning you put your property on the market.

The owner was late for a flight the previous night, and left the condo very quickly.  She obviously didn’t have time to check up on everything in the unit, and low and behold, she left the item there.

I can still remember one of my other colleagues saying, “Why the hell did you bring it here – in the office?”  She just screamed, “I don’t know, oh my God!  Is this really part of my job?”

That condo was leased by a young rookie on the Toronto Maple Leafs, who was actually present with his agent when my colleague went to pick up the, um, device.  For the next two years, every time I saw him hit the ice, I always chuckled.

As for my second story, in my very first year of real estate, I did an open house for a colleague at Church & Wellesley.  One of the attendees walked up to me and said, “So I guess a bear lives here?”  I had no idea what he was talking about.  I was still young, and naive.  I hadn’t met a lot of agents yet, and thus I had not yet received my lessons in all that I did not know.

Later that afternoon, another attendee was more overt with his observations, and said, “That’s some porn collection your client has there!”

On Monday, my colleague for whom I was doing the open house asked how it went, and I gave him the rundown.  Then I told him about these two comments, and he and another colleague of mine were hysterical.

“This guy has a pet bear?” I asked them, as they laughed, and laughed, and laughed.  “Is that even legal in the city?”

–

Well I suppose I could have led with the last point, but it was actually just a throw-in at the end.

I also feel as though I could have had another half-dozen points on here, but you’re likely at the end of your morning muffin now, so we’ll “call this painting finished,” as Bob Ross would say with a chuckle.

Just remember, as a seller, when you’re preparing your home for sale, and if you’re looking for top dollar, you shouldn’t be asking, “Do I really need to do that?”

You should instead be asking, “What else can I do?”