I haven’t done this feature in a while, but it’s allowed me to save a host of really good, really bad, and really wacky MLS write-ups.

It’s amazing what some listing agents will write in the MLS description, either because they’re thinking outside the box, or because they don’t know what a box is, and certainly can’t spell it…

There’s a very fine line between being creative, with the 463 characters that MLS allows for in the remarks section, and being ridiculous.  I guess it’s up to the reader to decide which it is…

1) A Poem…….I Think…

Here’s one I’ve been hanging on to for a while, clearly demonstrated by the old MLS font/style, which changed back in March!

Here’s an agent who wrote a poem for the MLS description, er, tried to write a poem.

I’m no literary genius, but only part of this rhymes, and unless a gimmick like this is done well, I don’t think it adds value:

2) It’s Times Like This, I’m Glad I’m Married…

Here’s a “gimmick” write-up that’s done really well.

This is a unit in King West that just isn’t selling.  It’s been on the market for months, and reduced in price several times.  So why not try something gimmicky like this?

Plus, it’s timely.  The whole world seems to be into online dating (or whatever you call Tinder & Grindr, since it’s clearly not dating…), so I think it’s a cool idea:

3) Points For Creativity?  Or A Detriment To The Listing?

Here’s an exceptionally unique, albeit bizarre write-up.

It’s a classic – everybody in the industry read this, talked about it, and critiqued it – whether the critiques were good or bad.

I know the listing agent pretty well, and this speaks to his personality, but some people thought it didn’t add to the listing, and was too hokey to take seriously:

4) Stop Labelling Me!

Perhaps this is what’s wrong with society.

We apply so many labels to people, and if “being a somebody” is important, then I don’t want to be important.

I’d pity the person who bought into this:

5) Your Teacher Would Tell You To “Elaborate”

It doesn’t take the lead editor of the New York Times to read the underlined section and simply ask, “like?”

Like what?

Like where?

Like when?

Which ads?  Which news articles?

There’s no use to the description below, unless you’re going to back it up:

6) Don’t Be Afraid To Name-Drop

This is exactly the same situation as the above, except the description almost discounts itself.

First of all, as with the above, if you’re going to note that the unit was in “many magazines” or was “designed by a designer,” then give a source or a name.

But more importantly, the description below says “reputable” as though it’s a compliment.

Not “renowned” or not “famous,” but only “reputable.”

That’s not really a compliment…

7) Pay Me…….To Sell Out My Buyer Client…

Here’s what listing agents do when they have an over-priced listing.

Simply offer more commission to the buyer agent, and hope that the agent is so desperate to pay his or her bills, that they push a buyer into a property that might not be the “right one” or might even be over-priced, just to make a few bucks:

8) I’m More Of A DELL Kinda Guy Anyways

Again, I have to ask – is any buyer agent out there going to be swayed by this?

9) The Biggest Oxymoron Ever?

This is downright stupid.

I’ll spell it right out – this is for a listing at 399 Adelaide Street.

I would n-e-v-e-r refer to this as a “hidden gem.”  There’s nothing hidden about it!  It’s on a major street, in a busy area, in a mid-rise building.

But the idea of combining the “King West nightlife” with the “peacefulness of Muskoka” is moronic.

What is there about 399 Adelaide Street that is anything like Muskoka?

Maybe they both have bugs…

Honestly, that’s the stupidest thing I’ve seen in an MLS listing in a long time.

There’s weirder things, and more creative-backfires (like the first couple…) but in terms of sheer stupidity, this one takes the cake.

I’d be embarrassed to have my name on that listing.

And what would the seller think?

Is there really a seller out there that would read this and say to the listing agent, “Hey, great job on that write-up.  I wanted to say that the condo is made of jellybeans, but that might have been silly.  So thanks for coming up with something realistic, like a serene, quiet, tranquil cottage-like setting in this concrete prison.”

Anyways, my cynicism is dripping off the page, and down onto my new iPad Air Wifi 16 GB that I got for selling that condo…

Have a great weekend, everybody!