There’s no real theme with this month’s edition of MLS Musings; just a lot of really weird, awkward, curious, laughable, pathetic, lazy, and incorrect photos and descriptions that I, along with my Merry Musing Mob, have put together over the last couple of weeks.
Want to be a part of said Mob?
If you see something ridiculous on MLS, please send it my way. I assure you – you won’t be alone in that endeavour…
Before I get into the musings, can I just show you something?
It’s a complicated world we live in out there, in 2018.
Thursday night’s election will anger some, and satisfy others, while all the while, the world gets more complex by the day.
Quite often, I find myself yearning for a much simpler time.
A time when………………well, when men wore belted sweaters
Yes, belted sweaters.
Sweaters with built-in belts.
All different kinds of them too.
Different colours, different textures, different patterns, and different designs.
Some with long-sleeves, some with short-sleeves. Some crew-cut, and some v-neck.
I yearn for the time when men wore belted-sweaters…
…and, a time when belted-sweaters were so en vogue, that they commanded their own publication:
Right.
Tough act to follow, but I’ll try…
First, how about a couple of really bad photo arrays on MLS?
Like this first one, which satisfies all the tenets of a classic photo array disaster:
1) The feature photo is of nothing special.
2) Many of the photos are sideways.
3) The sideways photos are both 90-degrees left, as well as 90-degrees right.
4) At least one photo of a room must be of 92% floor.
5) A classic shot of the laundry machines, preferably sideways.
6) And a photo of the kitchen looking tiny, right next to one actually making it look big.
Have a look:
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This array isn’t nearly as good. And by good, I mean bad.
The feature photo is horizontal, there are 2/8 photos are of the kitchen, essentially from the same spot, the colour in 4/8 of the photos makes it look like a different camera was used, and last but not least, and certainly expected – more upside-down photos:
What’s worse:
a) The listing agent has left the photos this way for three weeks.
b) The seller hasn’t noticed.
You decide.
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One of the fields on the “MLS Data Form” refers to photos.
There are three options:
1) Upload your own photo(s)
2) Use photo from library.
3) No photo for this listing.
If you’re wondering why anybody would choose option #3, we think alike, but that’s a topic for another day.
If you’re wondering what the “library” is, I assure you, inquiring minds want to know.
MLS apparently has a library of sites throughout the city. A stockpile, of stock images.
Which might explain why the following image appears for 560 King Street:
But hey, at least they got the CN Tower in the background!
What’s more Toronto than that, right?
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The following needs no explanation:
Wait, actually, it does.
WHY is there a bathtub filled with dirt in the backyard of this house for sale?
Is this a selling feature?
Is this something I don’t know about that people are into today? Like doing things socially on weekends, taking photos of your lunch and putting it on social media, or streaming music rather than still downloading MP3’s?
Or was somebody just too lazy to take the tub to the dump, and instead, filled it with dirt to make it a planter?
I think I might get some feedback on this one…
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Nothing creepy in this photo.
At all…
Unless we take the photo from the other side of the room….
….and….
….wait, I take it back…
….it’s creepy “AF,” as the kids say…
That is how you want to advertise your home for sale.
Right?
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I’m no meteorologist, but I think it was windy when this photo was taken:
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I’m no home inspector, but I think, this might not be the proper use of a downspout:
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I’m no landscaper, but I think this grass is a bit synthetic:
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I’m no software engineer, but I think this lawn might be photo-shopped…
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I’m no anthropology instructor, but I think the owners of this home might be Italian or Portuguese…
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I’m no fall-down-drunk, but I think whoever took this photo was laying on the floor:
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And last, but certainly not least, I don’t have my glasses on, so please tell me if you see anything odd here:
Yes?
No?
Need a closer look?
Okay, let’s take another step closer…
A living room toilet!
If only we could all be so lucky!
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Hey, I know there’s clearly a story behind it. I’m not laughing at the person who lived in this house, I’m laughing with them.
My Dad always used to say, “You have to be able to laugh at yourself.” And I’ve made a living with self-deprecating humour on my blog.
So when you see something awkward, like a toilet in a living room, in a house for sale, you’re not a bad guy or gal for having a chuckle.
Have a great weekend, everybody!
Condodweller
at 9:22 am
I never understood and always laugh at the MLS pictures when I come across these. At the end of the day, I don’t mind them as I can mentally turn a picture in my head 90 degrees. 180 is a bit of a challenge but still doable. For the second layout, the answer is definitely b. Yes it’s really bad a realtor who is making ~$25000 off of you is unwilling to spend $100 bucks for proper pictures but there is really no excuse for a seller to let it go. When I sold my first place the first thing I looked at was the pictures on the listing. I actually supplied my agent with the pictures but that’s another story.
The backyard with the old bathtub planter is much ado about nothing. Moving on…
I thought the creepy photo was a funeral setting. It just feels like someone has died. Apparently, someone has. He/she was murdered by their serial killer spouse.
The first house of the windy picture has some serious structural issues but the second one again, the agent couldn’t spend a few hundred bucks to fix the gutters?
The sofa picture was taken while sitting on the floor. The camera was at the table height (behind the couch). If the person was laying on the floor you could see under the TV stand.
The last picture, along with David’s comments tells me that a certain agent is in need of sensitivity training. I guess it’s not a requirement for RE agents yet? Let’s hope David doesn’t find himself in a situation where function over form is more important and doesn’t have the financial means to replace the floor and paint to make the result more visually pleasing. The issue here is not whether he is laughing at or with the person; it’s that he is laughing at all.
Katie
at 9:49 am
Condodweller you are the most negative person who posts on this blog and that says a lot!
A toilet in the living room. Can’t you smile just a little?
There was another living room toilet recently featured in a Toronto Star article. Too bad the Star doesn’t allow comments or you could have dropped your two cents in there as well.
RPG
at 12:05 pm
He or she also could have commented on David’s “racist” remark that’s only Italians and Portuguese make wine in their basements. Missed opportunity there!
Condodweller
at 12:36 pm
@Katie You are entitled to your opinion, no matter how shallow it is, therefore I am going to ignore your personal attack.
If this picture was about a DIY gone bad, lazy contractor, or someone cutting corners I would have no problem smiling. Unfortunately, I suspect this picture has a very sad story behind it and as I won’t laugh at someone else’s misery, no I can’t smile even a little. But you laugh all you like.
Not Harold
at 2:51 pm
I’m not laughing or appalled by the owner – I’m laughing at and appalled by the AGENT.
There very likely is an incredibly sad story as to why the toilet and sink are there, further indicated by the handrails on the toilet. Likely an estate sale or someone has been moved into a nursing home.
The agent should have had the toilet removed, fronting the costs or splitting them with the owner. Unless it was a total scrape job removing the toilet would have substantially increased the price and been better for everyone. There was also no need to have any photos of it in the listing, never mind TWO! For an as is where is sale, no need to even have photos of the inside.
So there is substantial malpractice by the agent of the property and that’s the target of the piece.
Libertarian
at 10:45 am
All that wine is awesome!!
I think the kids today would call it artisanal and rustic.
That beats a wine cellar with thousands of bottles stacked every which way. Why spend hours going to a winery in Niagara when you have one in your own basement. haha!
AN
at 12:39 pm
Exactly! Brings back good memories of my Nona.
AN
at 12:38 pm
Love these so much, every time!
joel
at 4:10 pm
The downspout picture is hilarious. They obviously took some time to do that and it blocks off the use of their yard.
Frances
at 10:40 pm
You “lie” on the floor, you don’t “lay” on it.
The bathtub as a planter is far from unknown; filled with flowering plants, it wouldn’t look too bad. Not so great looking in the winter, though.
I have a doll standing my bedroom who is about the size of those dolls and I don’t think she looks creepy but I wouldn’t put her in the dining room if I was trying to sell a house.
Are the toilet and the basin in an actual living room? It doesn’t look that way to me. What they need to do is build a wall and turn it into a proper washroom.
craijiji
at 10:55 am
You’re correct about the usage of lie vs lay, but you’re incorrect about your doll. I haven’t seen it obviously, but I can say without a doubt that people find it creepy. Dolls are for children.
downtown
at 1:40 pm
The living room toilet says: the last person who lived here was elderly, housebound, and may have died in this room. Of course these things happen, but if the key to getting a good price is presenting a space that people can picture themselves moving into, that’s not the image you want to go with. Would have been much better to simply enclose it with 2 walls & a door. Then something creepy becomes a feature: main floor powder room.
Peggy
at 3:43 pm
Those old claw foot bath tubs can fetch about $500 or more. The seller may be throwing it in as part of the deal. The astro turf is probably covering up some concrete. The creepy doll sitting at the dining room table may be the agents way of showing that the property is suitable for young children. ONLY THE SELLER KNOWS!