Wednesday’s blog on “The Worst Listing I’ve Ever Seen” was essentially a glorified MLS Musing that deserved its own dedicated post.
Something so bad that it’s effectively good. It’s so bad that it deserves a medal. It warrants individual praise!
The following are just run-of-the-mill by comparison, but still made me laugh.
I want to start with my favourite listing this week, which I can’t take credit for since a reader sent it to me.
This is the MLS caption:
We know that “Must See” is over-used, and that “Quality Finishes” could mean just about anything.
But tell me if this is what you had in mind:
But that’s not even why I love this listing.
The “quality finishes” nonsense is just the appetizer for the main course of man.
Yes, that’s right. Man.
There’s a man in the kitchen working on the fridge as the “photographer” snaps pictures. Have a look:
But unlike so many MLS Musings we’ve seen before where a person is captured in one photo, this gentleman is captured in ALL of the photos!
Here’s the “upgraded” kitchen, complete with office-style dropped ceiling, and the same man-in-the-yellow-shirt, who is not to be confused with Curious George’s father, the man-in-the-yellow-hat:
And just for good measure:
Yes, these photos actually appeared on MLS.
What is that last photo even showing, anyways?
They’re showing the laundry, I guess? As though 99.96% of downtown Toronto condos don’t have laundry?
Except this laundry machine comes with a guy-in-a-yellow-shirt who drinks Lactancia milk while punching away on his………..Blackberry Bold?
Who left their child unsupervised at home while the real estate agent took photos to put on MLS?
Who left their cat unsupervised at home while the real estate agent took photos to put on MLS?
I don’t mind this caption.
There’s nothing quite like using humour to sell real estate…
This, however, I do mind:
Agents shouldn’t be allowed to guess at the square footage. And to actually admit as much is pathetic.
I know that “Guesstimate” was officially adopted as a noun several years ago by The Oxford Dictionary, but at least these folks could have spelled it correctly.
The very FIRST photo on the listing is what the public sees when the listing goes to Realtor.ca, Zolo, Zoocasa, et al.
This listing agent did use fifteen of the twenty allotted spaces for photos, but I don’t agree with his or her choice in “feature photo”…
Then again, if you have only one photo for your listing, what would you choose?
If there isn’t a full case of beer waiting for each buyer during their viewing, then this is false advertising…
Could there possibly have been a worse angle from which to photograph this house?
It looks like the house is absolutely dwarfed by this castle next door:
All stagers are the same, you say?
“Mattress” and “Boxspring” are the same, you say?
Buyers won’t care, you say?
Little difference between “front foyer” and “dining room,” you say?
I commend the stager and listing agent for trying. Except that, well, I don’t, really.
This is a foyer. This is where you put shoes.
“Sorry folks, do you mind if I take a quick photo of the movie theatre for my upcoming condo listing?”
“Blur out your face? I can’t do that, sorry. But I can take a blurry photo, which will have essentially the same result…”
At least the person snapping this photo of the pool at a Bay Street condo waited until the guy went underwater to click the shutter…
As we’ll see a few photos from now, with agents constantly stealing other agents’ photos from MLS, the three blurry millennials watching a movie and the speedo-wearing gent taking an after-work swim will both be immortalized on MLS forever!
Another day, another MLS photos with not one, but two reflections of the photographer in the mirror:
And last, but certainly not least, it seems that either condo buyers are changing their search criteria, or condo developers are merely under the assumption that buyers’ tastes are being refined.
Look no further than the artist rendering of the “Jam Space” in the common area of this new building called “East United:”
I would also add that the listing agent for this unit, who didn’t have any photos of the unit itself, stole the photo from condonow as you can tell from the watermark in the bottom left-hand corner, but have ye no shame, for all that lays on MLS is for all to pilage.
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