A reader sent me this movie trailer, and after watching the first ten seconds, I said aloud, “This is a spoof.”

My colleague sitting behind me asked, “Is that ‘Pocket Listing?’ I can’t wait to go and see that!”

This has to be a joke.  It just has to be.  Doesn’t it?

Let’s talk about real estate movies, and real estate TV shows, just because, it’s Monday…

Did you watch?

Was I supposed to write “NSFW?”

This is safe for my work.  In fact, it’s tame.

This movie, basically sums up my average day in real estate.

In fact, the movie basically outlines my average week:

Monday: “Make it rain” Benjamins.  Those are $100 bills for those of you not in the know.

Tuesday: Do lots of cocaine.

Wednesday: Be the only man in a swimming pool filled with women in bikini’s.

Thursday: Accuse somebody of “setting me up,” and wondering why I’m “blacklisted.”

Friday: More cocaine.

Saturday: Hang out with Rob Lowe, and see if brother Chad can attend.

Sunday: Sit in front of a fireplace and bundle up dollar bills, then put those bundles into a douffle bag, and stash it in a bus station locker.

Highly, highly accurate depiction of my life as a Realtor…

Sadly, because this is a movie about real estate, and I am a real estate agent, I have no choice but to go and see this.  It’s an occupational hazard, and if you work in fashion, I bet you’ve seen “The Devil Wears Prada” about a dozen times.

The best line from that trailer, however, had to be “……everything that your average billionaire could want in a house.”

Average billionaire?

Is there such a thing as an average billionaire?  Since when is being a billionaire “average?”

In any event, I’m not surprised that this movie was made, and it actually took far longer than I’d have thought.  Consider how obsessed we are with real estate, not just in Toronto, but around the world.

Off the top of my head, how many real estate TV shows can I list:

Million Dollar Listing (Los Angeles & New York)
Property Virgins
Income Property
Holmes on Homes, Holmes Inspection, & Holmes Makes It Right
Disaster DIY (and a bunch of Bryan Baeumler spin-offs)
Love It Or List It
House Hunters & House Hunters International

Ummmm…….I know there are more.

In fact, there are a LOT more!

After all, there’s an entire channel dedicated to real estate, and while HGTV might stand for “Home And Garden Television,” there ain’t a lot of gardening going on…

I’m willing to bet that there are 25-30 real estate related TV shows running on TV right now (those current, and syndicated), and the way I see it, there are three types:

1) Instructional

“Holmes on Holmes” is the most classic example of a show that teaches you, and as opposed to most of the other shows we’ll talk about below, you might actually learn something useful from watching.

“Income Property” is a premise I hate (since I don’t advise taking a single-family home in Toronto and turning the basement into an apartment, since you’ll want to turn it back to single-family when you sell, to maximize the value), but it does teach the viewer about return on investment, construction, mortgage payments, and more.

This style of show can be silly and simple at times, but at least the viewer is learning something.

2) Fantasy

Anything with the word “International” applies here.

“House Hunters International” is based off “House Hunters,” but you don’t really watch it for the same reasons.  You watch the International version because you want to see the world, not because you want to see people actively searching for homes in The Annex or North Toronto.  You watch because you want to see a man and his wife buy a private island for $10 Million, and mentally check out for 30 minutes.

This style of show isn’t going to teach you anything relevant about real estate, and it’s probably no different than watching an episode of “Friends.”

3) “Reality” TV Real Estate Soap Operas

“Million Dollar Listing” is exactly that.

It’s “reality” in brackets, since like most reality TV shows during the 2000’s boom, most of this is scripted, directed, and edited.

And it’s a “soap opera” in the metaphorical sense because most of the plots revolve around the ridiculous characters and their interactions, rather than, well, real estate.

This is, without a doubt, the very definition of a “guilty pleasure,” since you know it’s wrong to watch it, but you do it anyways.  You know you’re being taken advantage of as a viewer, because it’s likely 90% fake, but you don’t care.

“Did Kimberley steal Jo’s baby?”

“Are Dylan and Kelly ever going to get together, or is Brenda always going to be in the way?”

“Will Madison ever forgive Josh for stealing his assitant, and then marrying her?”

One of these is from Million Dollar Listing, one is from Melrose Place, and one is from 90120.  But don’t they all seem the same?

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Anyways, I’m curious to know if anybody will admit to wanting to see that movie – “Pocket Listing,” or if we can all agree it’ll be great to see on an airplane, or when there’s nothing left on Rogers on Demand.

And for the record – I try not to watch any real estate TV shows, but when my wife is watching them, and I’m working in the den, I can’t help but loosely follow the plot.

Oh that Josh Altman!  I miss Chad already…