Welcome Back!

Opinion | September 8, 2009

Don’t hate me for pointing it out, but summer is over, folks!

Welcome back to your desks, welcome back to your jobs….welcome to the soon-to-be fall season.

There’s nothing worse than the day after Labor Day…


Did everybody enjoy the long weekend?

Just as the first day of school had that unmistakable “feeling,” the first day after Labor Day for all us working saps certainly dulls the senses a little bit.  So for one more day, I’m going to pretend we’re still on vacation…..and by that, I mean I’m not going to write about real estate!

I think we all need some time to settle back into our routines.

So here three somewhat strange observations I made over the weekend that have nothing to do with real estate…

Tim Horton’s “Gingerbread Figure”

Is this really what the world has come to?

We have to call this a gingerbread figure?

One day, I’ll be able to tell my children that I grew up in a time before society had developed into an oversensitized collection of wimps who took all the fun away…

I remember making and eating gingerbread men when I was a kid, but I guess we’ve reached the point where this has become sexist?  Does everything have to be gender-neutral?

But I really can’t fault Tim Horton’s for doing this.  I mean, if they were to launch the new “gingerbread man” along with their new whole wheat muffins, I can imagine how many angry people with far too much time on their hands would write letters to the Toronto Star chastising the male chauvinist pigs at the top of the Timmy’s corporate ladder.

But while we’re at it, how come they only have one color of skin for the gingerbread figure?  What’s with this light-brown gingerbread figure?  What if an African-American, Caucasian, or Asian wants to buy a gingerbread figure?  Then what do they do?  As a Caucasian, I’m offended that Tim Horton’s only has one denomination of gingerbread people.

I’m also offended, however, that this gingerbread figure has no clothes on.  Personally, I don’t want to associate with any pastry-shop that blatantly markets and promotes naked replicas of the human body.

I suppose if Tim Horton’s had done their due diligence, we would have gingerbread men and women of every single ethnic race, all with clothing made of icing.

“Run, run, as fast as you can!  You can’t catch me, I’m the gingerbread…..man, woman, and/or A-sexual being of varying races.

Yeah, it just doesn’t have the same ring to it…

LuLu Lemon Is Entering The “Tween” Market

What took them so long?

The company that brought us “The bra for your bum” has now decided to market this shape-creating product to children

I’m not going to lie – as a man who appreciates the beauty in the female gender, I wasn’t exactly opposed to the LuLu Lemon Gods handing down this piece of “athletica” that instantly transforms the human body.

But I’m a little uncomfortable about the thought of “tweens” wearing this product that carries all kinds of connotations.

Then again, LuLu Lemon aren’t the worst offenders.

When LaSenza launched LaSenza Girl, I kinda threw up in my mouth a little bit.  I’m just not sure if I see a need in the marketplace for sexy underwear for children…

Are we really to believe that the twelve-year-old girl who is at LaSenza Girl (but only to buy socks, right?) isn’t going to notice the French-maid outfit twenty feet away at the adjacent LaSenza?

Do we really need eleven-year-old girls walking around with the word “JUICY” sprawled across the bum of their pants?

Where the hell are all the parents?

Tragic Long Weekend?

Tomorrow morning, the O.P.P. will release their infamous “stats” from the weekend that was.  We’ll get to put numbers to the amount of death and disaster from the roads and the lakes, and the amount of people caught speeding as well.

I wonder how many rich, spoiled, self-entitled 20 – 25 year old boys got hammered at their daddy’s (insert: country club, golf course, or cottage) and then proceeded to drive their mommy’s (insert: Hummer, SUV, sports-car) back to their friend’s place in (insert: Collingwood or Muskoka).

And I wonder how many of them didn’t get caught.

I happen to know a social-circle of snotty, rich brats who take weekend trips to Collingwood (their car is a yellow Hummer that daddy handed down) and brag about drinking and driving like it’s the new in-thing to do.

They talk about how “everybody does it” so in essence, if you aren’t paying twice as much attention and somebody else hits you, really it’s your fault for not taking the back roads and/or being more aware.  When “everybody” does it, really we’re talking about a level playing field so it all kind of evens out in the end.

Again – where the hell are all the parents?  Oh wait, they’re down in their real vacation spots in the Caribbean…

I remember being invited to a cottage 7-8 years ago that belonged to a friend-of-a-friend, when two guys decided to eat a half-ounce of magic mushrooms and then go canoeing with no life jackets.  Their laughing screams of “help, help” when their boat capsized came as no surprise, but the fact that the people around us thought nothing of it did come as a shock to me.

At my friend Wes’ cottage over the weekend, he played the role of Dad and told one of the girls “not alone, you’re not” when she suggested she was going to take her beer and head down to sit on the dock at 1AM.  I don’t know that we were being too careful, just sensible and responsible.

Every Labor Day and Canada Day, you hear the SAME stories about the people who drowned over the weekend and weren’t wearing any life jackets.  I don’t understand, and I’m not looking forward to the evening news.

But what I’m looking forward to the most is hearing about “that guy” who got clocked doing 260 km per hour in his souped-up Honda Civic on Highway-400.  Can anyone say “lifetime driving ban”?

End of Summer, Start of Fall!

Well, at least NFL football starts on Thursday, right?

And MLB playoffs and NHL hockey start in a few weeks!

Oh, but soon we have to rake leaves, dress warmer, and hand out candy for FREE!

But the part I hate the most about Fall?  Turning back the clocks!  And we always act surprised the first night when it’s dark at 5:45PM, even though we go through it every single year!

Well, I hope you all enjoyed your summers and maybe got to take some time off.

We’ve still got another four weeks of prime patio season in downtown Toronto, so let’s take advantage!

Welcome back to work.  Let the day……begin

Back To Top

Post a Comment

Your email address will not be published.

Back To Comments