We’re in the midst of an exceptionally busy market, and judging from a few of the MLS listings I’m going to present below, it looks like many agents are too busy to proofread!

There’s also some very odd choices in MLS photos, and overall the average lack of professionalism that we’ve grown accustomed to seeing in a small handful of listings out there.

But it sure does give us a laugh!

The last one is my absolute favourite…

You Are Not Alone!

This photo, from an active MLS listing, made me jump in my seat.

I didn’t immediately notice the person in the corner of the room, but when I did, I got spooked.

Then I wondered if it was a mannequin.

Then I wondered what would be weirder: a person standing in the corner of the room while a photographer is taking photos, or a person who keeps a mannequin in their bedroom…

Pet Friendly?

I don’t know if this was a mistake, or not.

Before we had digital photos, we’d just print out all our 4 x 6’s and organize them accordingly.  Once in a while, a photo of your baseball team would accidentally find its way into the batch from granny’s 80th birthday.

Or, worse.  Possibly much, much worse…

Below, we see either a strategy to show that the building is pet friendly, or just a monumental screw-up:

Street of BIBLICAL Proportions?

Define “covenanted.”

A conditional promise made to humanity by God, as revealed in the Scripture?

Is THAT what this listing is saying?

Or did they just trip over their tongues when trying to explain that the house is “coveted,” ie. “sought after?”

“Tough Market Conditions”

If this one were a play, it would go something like this….

Mike: “Hey Johnny, how is the sale of your house going?”

Johnny: “Really bad, man.  The market is so rough here in Toronto, nothing is selling!  We’ve been sitting on the market for 92 days, unsold!”

Mike: “Wow, dude, that’s terrible!  I can’t think of any reasons why that would happen.  Unles…..well…..unless your house was SIDEWAYS!”

Words Cannot Explain…

This one is epic!

I can’t remember the last time I saw so many things that I wanted to make fun of in one MLS listing!  Have a look:

So first, in lieu of a useful adjective or exclamation, we get the universally bland word “wow.”  But read the fine print here, folks, you “may” have the wow reaction.  It’s simply not guaranteed.

I think he meant “Wow is the only reaction everybody WILL have,” not “may” have.  It’s like, “Meh.  You might be impressed, and yet you might not.”

Then we’re told about the “VIP Parking Area” in the garage, which is about as useful as a VIP drinking area in a nightclub.  Is this what marketing has come to?  We have to dupe people into thinking that there’s a “VIP Parking Area” in a condo garage?  REALLY?

“Vurtual” tour available.  I’d love to see it.  I know, I know – making fun of spelling mistakes is juvenile, but can’t we expect some level of professionalism here for our 5% fee?

“Rare found.”  Past tense?  Is the unit SOLD ALREADY???

“Be confident for showing.”  Okay, I will.  Dammit, I WILL!  I’ll get up early, do some pushups, talk to myself in the mirror, and get psyched up!

“Unit shows very well.”  If I wasn’t convinced by the VIP Parking and the private elevator, in this $1M condo, then thanks for helping me get over the hump with “unit shows very well.”

“Listing agent to present at all showings.”  What is he presenting?  An award?  Or is this like a grade-six presentation on cats?  Oh, wait, this was supposed to say “Listing agent TO be present at all showings.”  Well, “to” is a tough word.  It’s like the level of education the agent who posted this listing has – grade to.

“What the Hell is This ‘Staging’ Thing?”

This is great for three reasons, and they get progressively worse:

1) The seller refused to clean or stage the house.
2) The seller refused to leave the house during the photos.
3) The seller refused to get off the couch and turn off Dr. Phil for five seconds while the photographer was in the living room!

And I thought the 53/100 Walk Score was the worst thing about this property! 🙂