Why don’t we start off with one of my all-time favourite categories in MLS Musings: bad staging photos.
Bad staging photos come in many, many forms.
There’s the staging itself – too much, too little, ugly furniture, not to scale, there’s the lack of experience on the part of the stager, and then there’s the “I have no idea what’s going on here” form, which is the most fun.
Case in point:
That’s a vase of flowers on a couch.
And if I were to sit down and think about it for a while, this is perhaps the last place in the world that I would put a glass jar filled with water, except, perhaps, inside a baby’s crib?
But in addition to placing a water-filled container with no lid on an uneven surface that becomes more uneven if and when somebody sits on it, I don’t understand what the “stager” was trying to accomplish here.
How about this one – maybe the stager was thinking, “less is more.”
Or maybe the stager wasn’t a stager.
Maybe it was one of many real estate agents who are too cheap to pay for staging, and tell their clients, “I do my own staging, don’t worry.”
A lamp, a horse statue, and a jug of fluorescent orange sticks. Got it.
You know those crime scene photos where they’ll place a ruler next to a footprint to show the size of the footprint? And you know how, in lieu of a ruler, you can place something that has a fixed size, like a dollar bill? (I think Angelina Jolie did that in “Bone Collector”)
Well maybe this bear was put against the wall in this otherwise empty basement, just to show the size and scale of the room:
Great condo, but why take the wedding photo off the wall and place it on the floor?
Did the golf clubs not fit in the storage locker?
Or is this listing only targeting the young male demographic?
Outdoor patio furniture, indoor rug, fake flowers.
Check, check, check.
How about another favourite theme of mine, that I call, “Which house is actually for sale?”
Classic example here:
I’m assuming it’s one of the two in the middle, although assumptions, in cases like these, are never automatic.
But which of the two?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The quality of the decision to take a photo of four houses, when only one is for sale, is as good as the quality of the camera used to take this photo that has the uncanny ability to make the photographed objects look like they’re in the 1980’s…
How about this one – which house is for sale?
Again, it’s probably one of the two in the middle.
But should we also make note of the fact that the listing agent didn’t actually go to the property to take photos, and instead, just used a screen-shot from Google Earth?
Let’s continue that theme with MLS photos that did not originate on an actual camera.
The following photo came from a good place; the listing agent was trying to draw a treasure map to the lockbox location:
But to have that on MLS is ridiculous.
First of all, this is part of the “marketing” of the property, since this is one of the photos associated with the listing.
Second of all, this appears on www.realtor.ca, Zolo, Zoocasa, and every other listing site. Do you really want the public knowing how to access the lockbox?
And last but not least, what’s with the green spraypaint-font? That is supposed to say “1 Scott” above, and “Lock box” below.
Really, really bad stuff.
I love this one!
Here are three MLS photos from a current listing:
What I love is that photos #2 and #3 are of the same room, but one with the light off, and with one the light on, and, it’s a screen-shot of the user’s phone, in two different applications.
I always imagine the interview process with this listing agent:
Seller: “So, tell me about the cutting-edge marketing initiatives that you take.”
Agent: “I can assure you sir, I use mediums that no other agent uses.”
You know I love photos of condos with giant concrete pillars in the rooms, right?
Well just when you think it can’t get any worse, check this out:
What the hell is this?
And last, but certainly not least, the worst MLS blurb I’ve seen in a while:
Now before the more sensitive readers pick the low-hanging fruit here and come back at me, I understand that not everybody’s first language in Canada is English.
But that doesn’t excuse what I read above.
“With Sunset Belong Breathtaking!!!” – this is not only grammatically incorrect, but what does it actually mean?
“$40,000/Fall” – this means, what, that the upgrades were put in last September? And it flows from the previous sentence: “Upgrades of Nearly $40,000/Fall Ceiling With Pot Lights” – is this just missing a period, or is this one sentence?
“Fittings” – I don’t know what that means.
“U/G” – same deal here, this could be an acronym for anything.
I’m sure the listing agent really tried his or her hardest here, but it’s still a fail.
Phew! Long, tiring week here.
Perfect time for a long weekend!
Just a question for you cottagers – is there any time, during daylight hours, when you can drive north on Highway 400 and not be in traffic?
Have a great weekend, everybody!