I only wish I had got to this topic sooner!

In lieu of a Friday Rant, I give you my Monday Morning Quarterback…

Last week, the esteemed former-newsperson-turned-politician, Adam Vaughan, declared war on war itself, by suggesting that we ban bullets from Toronto.  Mr. Vaughan wants to ban the sale, storage, and use of bullets, which he believes will decrease gun violence in Toronto.

I don’t think there is a single person in our fair city that wants to increase gun violence in Toronto, but I have to question the timing and motives of anybody making such an announcement, let alone the reality of such a proposition.

This is a hot-button topic, given the recent events that transpired at the Eaton Centre, but Mr. Vaughan is really jumping on two bandwagons here:

1) Gun Violence
2) Banning

Bans are so hot right now!

After the plastic-bag ban last week, banning shot up a whopping 141% worldwide!

Even Charlie Sheen tweeted #Banning

I think…

Let’s face it: bans are cool, and everybody knows it.  Especially city councillors that love getting their names in the paper!

Signs that read “Please Walk On The Grass” are totally out-of-style, and should clearly be replaced with land-mines.  Positive reinforcement, proactivity, and education have no place in today’s society when the long-arm of the law can simply reach out and crush someone or something, like a garbage compactor crushes plastic bags into toy soldiers.

With Toronto city councillors hot-to-trot on banning, and with Adam Vaughan clearly having a firm grip on reality on planet earth in 2012, I have a few suggestions for other things that Adam Vaughan should ban:

Gangs.  Seriously, gangs are soooo 1980’s Compton, and it’s been almost 20 years since Boyz In The Hood.  Bloods?  Crips?  Blue flag?  Pass.  Gangs aren’t cool anymore, and thus they should be banned.

Cancer.  Ugh, I know a guy that had a friend that had cancer.  It was really rough.  We should ban cancer so that nobody is allowed to get it.

Jelly.  Jams are easier to spread on toast, and jelly is more susceptible to mold.  Why have jam AND jelly where just jelly will do?  Let’s ban jelly.  Mr. Vaughan – it’s your move!

“Celebrate” by Kool & The Gang.  This song is so overplayed at weddings and other social functions, and since it appears on most people’s “do not play” list, we should just ban it outright.

Banning.  In the last forty seconds, banning became un-cool.  Things happen pretty quickly in this wacky wold we live in today, so stay tuned to the all-important media outlets such as Twitter and you’ll never be caught off-guard.  #BanBanning

Alright, as you can probably tell, my thoughts are somewhat scattered on this.  But how can they not be?  Adam Vaughan is one of the biggest media-whole-politicians in Toronto, and he just about cemented his status as #1 with this ridiculous motion.

Banning bullets?  Really?

It sounds awesome – I’m not a fan of gun violence, I mean, who is?

But banning bullets is like the second-prize in the beauty pageant to banning guns altogether.  Why isn’t Adam Vaughan going after guns?

Or better yet, why isn’t he going after gangs?  Or going after crime?  Or putting more police on the streets?  Or drumming up more funding for social programs in low-income areas where gun violence is rampant?

I’m not a politician, nor am I anywhere close to social policy, so the above is only a short list of what Mr. Vaughan could be going after.

But why isn’t he making more realistic suggestions?  Why isn’t he putting more thought into his ideas before he spits them out?

And how did this become a municipal issue?

Banning bullets in Toronto by a bunch of city councillors is a joke.  This is a provincial issue, if not a federal issue.  How are we going to police this?  How can we stop bullets from coming in on the underground railway, or in this case, over the non-existent border of Toronto?

Doesn’t this mean that the sale of bullets in Mississauga will double?  Doesn’t this just mean that bullets can’t be sold at Brown’s Line, but they can be at Dixie Road?

How the hell is this a municipal issue?

Bah!  I just want to pull out my hair, stuff it into a gun, and fire it!!!

Toronto city councillors are naïve, immature, impulsive, and incompetent.

I feel as though many (not all) Toronto city councillors are young people who have never really had a career, and dove into politics by default, with no real idea of how to govern, let alone play well with others.  (the comparison to real estate is astounding!)

What started as the “vote against Ford at all costs” movement has now branched off into an every-man-for-himself mentality where councillors are already jockeying for position in the next election, and trying to make headlines with inane, asinine ideas.

Speaking of headlines, where is Josh Matlow when you need him?  Why isn’t he trying to out-do Adam Vaughan by suggesting that Toronto city council somehow force a worldwide ban on the manufacture of bullets?  Why not get really crazy?

Honestly, I don’t think that city council understands their position.  I don’t think they understand politics!  I don’t think they’re prepared for the job they’ve been ‘hired’ to do, and they’ve demonstrated this over and over in the past two years.

Their lack of focus on pressing, every-day issues is embarrassing.

Their in-fighting and mud-flinging is getting old.

It’s quite clear that nobody at the municipal level is concerned with running the city on a day-to-day basis, but rather, they’re focused on making headlines, getting a name for themselves, and ensuring that they have hundreds upon hundreds of Google results so that voters will know exactly who they are in a couple of years.

Adam Vaughan knows that he will never have to deal with any ban on bullets, because it’s not an issue he has any influence over whatsoever.  So what is the harm in him suggesting the ban?  What are his responsibilities now that these words have come out of his mouth?  There aren’t any.

He’s a smart guy.  He’s making headlines, and he’s making a mess that he’ll never have to clean up.

He may as well state once and for all – who has the rightful claim to the West Bank!

Adam Vaughan is a clown, but no more so than every other member of city council, including Rob Ford, who I support.  They’re all clowns, and they’re all utterly useless.  They’re not getting anything done, and they’re putting themselves ahead of their constituents.

It’s pathetic.  And Adam Vaughan’s “bullet ban” suggestion shows that either:

a) he’s just making outrageous statements to get attention
b) he really believes it, and thus has no concept of reality

It’s lose-lose.  I don’t see any way to put a positive spin on this.

And over the last five days, the reactions have been pouring in from media outlets as well as the general public, and it seems that I’m not the only person who hold such a low opinion of Mr. Vaughan and his bullet-ban.

Remember the episode of Seinfeld where the mayor suggested that every person in New York where a name-tag to make the city more friendly?  It was such a ridiculous idea, and people balked, and it cost him the election.

In reality, a ridiculous suggestion like banning bullets won’t cost anybody an election.

I think Adam Vaughan is going to run for mayor in two years.

And I think this bullet-ban idea was a calculated approach to gain notoriety and help with the mayoral race.

Time will tell.

But I would bet money that Mr. Vaughan won’t follow-up on his bullet-ban suggestion, and you won’t hear another word from him on the matter.  That will clearly demonstrate that he was never serious to begin with, and just wanted attention, but will anybody really care or notice?